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THE PROVERBS OF JOHN HEYWOOD

I

[Reduced Facsimile of Portrait of John Heywood, the Frontispiece to " Three Hundred Epigrammes upon Three Hundred Proverbs," London, 1562.]

A Dialogue

of

The Effectual Proverbs

in the English Tongue CONCERNING MARRIAGE

BY

JOHN HEYWOOD

EDITED BY

JOHN S. FARMER

EontKon

GiBBiNGs & Co., 1 8, Bury Street, W.C.

MCMVI

PA/

19 o(^

1022114

CONTENTS

A Dialogue of the Effectual Proverbs IN THE English Tongue concerning Marriage

PART I.

PAGE

Preface 3

Chapter I. . . 4

Chapter II 5

Chapter III 8

Chapter IV. 10

Chapter V 12

Chapter VI. 14

Chapter VII 16

Chapter VIII 18

Chapter IX 20

Chapter X 23

Chapter XI • . . 30

Chapter XII 46

Chapter XIII. ........ 49

viii Contents

PART II.

PAGE

Chapter 1 51

Chapter II -55

Chapter III 58

Chapter IV 60

Chapter V 65

Chapter VI .74

Chapter VII 77

Chapter VIII 87

Chapter IX 89

Chapter X 98

Chapter XI loi

Note-Book, Word-List, and Index ... 105

INTRODUCTION

Art thou Hey wood, with thy mad merry wit?

Yea, forsooth, master, that name is even hit. Art thou Heywood, that appliest mirth more than thrift?

Yes, sir, I take merry mirth a golden gift. Art thou Heywood that hast made many mad plays?

Yea, many plays, few good works in my days. Art thou Heywood that hath made men merry long?

Yea, and will, if I be made merry among. Art thou Heywood, that wouldst be made merry now?

Yes, sir, help me to it now, I beseech you."

So, of himself, wrote John Heywood, the author of this work, which, 360 years after it was first published, is ag'ain given to the world. It ran through at least ten editions during the first fifty years, and was then neglected until the Spenser Society, in 1867, issued a collated reprint of the editions of 1562 and 1566. The number of copies issued of this reprint was limited. The Society dissolved itself, its pub- lications were dispersed, and copies are now very rare. Nine years later, in 1876, Mr. Julian Sharman issued a very imperfect reprint

of the edition omitted.

HEY. PROV.

of 1598, line after line

bemg

X Introduction

The present text, modernised in spelling (with but few exceptions), is based on the Spenser Society reprint, a few obvious mis- prints having been rectified. These, however, are comparatively few in number, and the work of the Society has been found to have been most faithfully done.

Hitherto an index to the proverbs and collo- quialisms has been wanting. It is made a special feature of the present edition. This index is based (but greatly enlarged and ex- tended) on the materials collected for the Spenser Society, which were never utilised, as the manuscript disappeared, coming incident- ally to light again, after a lapse of nearly forty years, when bought at a public sale for the Manchester Free Libraries. Mr. C. W. Sutton, the librarian of the Manchester Corporation, very courteously placed the volume, amongst others, at my disposal, to very great purpose and advantage.

A present-day orthography has been adopted ; the punctuation has likewise been modernised. Quite recently, and more than once, I have been censured for the former and commended for the latter. Setting aside the obvious inconsistency of differentiating between these two departures from an original text — one is just as defensible or indefensible as the other — it may help to a better understanding if I add a word or two of explanation.

In my own view there is no object whatever in placing unnecessary difficulties in the way of the ordinary student of English literature. Such students are becoming an ever-increasing

Introduction xi

body of seekers for, and delvers In, the goodly literary heritage which has come down to us from the days — "and after" — when this modern England of ours was ** in the making. " I speak now of those who are, so to speak, the high and all but " expert " outcome to-day of the improved educational methods and ex- tended educational facilities which have char- acterised, and which will, I believe, ultimately prove to be among the lasting glories of, the last half-century. From public school to uni- versity the difference is hardly credible unless direct comparison of the two periods be made. The process of evolution — though it has little to do with the present question, as yet — is seen in the effects, as far as popular read- ing is concerned, of the Compulsory Educa- tion Act of 1870. The universal ability to read, which soon characterised even the lowest sections of the community, was the secret of the phenomenal success of such mental pabulum as is found in periodicals of the Tit- Bits, Answers, and Pearson's Weekly type. Unsatisfying, indigestible as such fare would be to those whose early training had been of a less elementary and more refined nature, yet it exactly suited the needs of those who, until then, had read either nothing at all or had been contented with the Dick Turpin or Burglar Bill type of fiction. Surely the "scissors and paste," "snippety" order of literature was a distinct advance and gain? L Then mark successive stages ! The ability Pto read, the appetite for the lightest of all light "literature" stimulated and assuaged,

i

xii Introduction

then comes, in progressive development, the desire for something- a little higher and better. Hence — and all praise to the Newneses, the Harmsworths, and the Pearsons — the cheap monthlies, the sixpenny reprints of notable novels, and the like; now being followed by Universal and Everyman's Libraries — cheap, good, and astounding reprints of much that is of the best in the world's classics. Will the upward movement stop there? Surely not ! Hence reprints like the present one.

To return now to the question of the merits, or the reverse, of a modernisation of the spell- ing of an original text. As I have said, I believe no good object is served, or advantage gained, in placing unnecessary difficulties in the way of the ordinary student. He wants to get at an author's meaning; and neither that nor his construction is, as a rule, obscured by changing the antique and obsolete orthography for the current spelling : always provided that an editor is careful to conserve the spelling and form (even a word itself) in cases where justice to the author requires it, or the rhyme (in the case of verse) demands it, or the interest at- taching to the use of a particular word seems to render such a course desirable. A text thus treated, with a note added occasionally, satis- fies all but those whose business or inclination concerns them with "the higher criticism," textual or otherwise. For these last, he it noted, no reprint, no matter how carefully done, is adequate. Errors must occur while an Infallible printer (to say nothing of an in- fallible editor!) is awanting. For these **fac-

Introduction xiii

simile" is "the only wear"; and facsimile, too, of the most exact kind. No " touching- iip " of "blemishes," no "restoration" ©f " blurred words," or other mechanical manipiH lation of the original should be allowed or attempted, as is frequently the case.

To return, however, to the present volume.

Hey wood's book of " Proverbs on Marriage " was exceedingly popular when it appeared : it was a quarry from which the Elizabethan dramatists drew many a sparkling gem of phrase — to wit, Ben Jonson, in Eastward Hoe^ and Henry Porter, in The Two Angry Women of Abingdon, and others.

Of the man himself little is known and less has been written. As I have pointed out else- where, Heywood was a voluminous and ver- satile writer; indeed, his achievement and posi- tion in the hierarchy of English letters have only of late years begun to receive anything like adequate, even if tardy, recognition. Heywood, so far, has mainly been studied piecemeal, so to speak : as a dramatist, build- ing (better than he knew) a bridge between religious morality and comedy — comedy- tragedy, also, it may ultimately appear; as a disputant, popularising in some degree the old theological, hair-splitting disputations ; as a writer of epigrams, some pointed and subtly quippish, others of the look-a-fool or be-a-fool order ; as a collector and compiler of proverbs ; or as a political pamphleteer on a large scale (vide Spider and Fly) — as one of these — for he was all at times — In two, or even three aspects, maybe — Heywood has occasionally

xiT Introduction

been studied ; but, as a whole, with a scientific eye on the man's many-sidedness, there is yet to come a judgment at once adequate and balanced.

Such an attempt at a more complete account of the man, his times, and his place in con- temporary literature I am making- in my Ter- minal Essay to The Works of John Heywood, 3 vols. (E.E.D.S.).

J. S. F.

THE PROVERBS OF JOHN HEYWOOD

^ ^ trialoguc contegttgna tf)t

numter of tfje effertuair ptouertes in

ti)t (Ifngliflje tounge, compact in

a matter concerngnge

ttoo matter of ma:=

rgages. . ,

t)8 Joljn l^cgiDootr,

W

L O N D I N I.

ANNO chriTti.

1562

HEY. II.

A DIALOGUE

CONTAINING THE NUMBER OF THE EFFECTUAL PROVERBS IN THE ENGLISH TONGUE

PART I. THE PREFACE

Among other things profiting in our tongue — Those which much may profit both old and

young, Such as on their fruit will feed or take hold — Are our common plain pithy proverbs old. Some sense of some of which, being bare and

rude, Yet to fine and fruitful effect they allude. And their sentences include so large a reach, That almost in all things good lessons they

teach. [why ?

This write I, not to teach, but to touch : for Men know this as well or better than I. But this, and this rest, I write for this, Rememb'ring and considering what the pith

is : That, by remembrance of these, proverbs may

grow. In this tale, erst talked with a friend, I show As many of them as we could fitly find Falling to purpose, that might fall in mind ; To th 'intent that the reader readily may Find them, and mind them, when he will

alway.

Finis.

B 2

4 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. I.

Chapter I.

Of mine acquaintance a certain young man (Being a resorter to me now and thanj Resorted lately, showing himself to be Desirous to talk at length alone with me. And, as we for this a meet place had won. With this old proverb this young man begun. Whoso that knew what would be dear, Should need he a merchant but one year. Though it, (quoth he), thing impossible be The full sequel of present things to foresee. Yet doth this proverb provoke every man Politically, (as man possible can), In things to come after to cast eye before, To cast out, or keep in, things for fore store; As the provision may seerh most profitable, And the commodity most commendable. Into this consideration I am wrought By two things, which fortune to hands hath

brought. Two women I know, of which twain the tone Is a maid of flowering age, a goodly one ; Th'other a widow, who so many years bears, That all her whiteness lieth in her white hairs. This maid hath friends rich, but riches hath

she none, Nor none can her hands get to live upon. This widow is very rich, and her friends bare, And both these, for love, to wed with me fond

are. [worse ;

And both would I wed, the better and the The tone for her person, the tother for her

purse. [woo.

They woo not my substance, but myself they Goods have I none and small good can I do.

[Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. II. 5

[On this poor maid, her rich friends, I clearly know, [bestow,

.(So she wed where they will), great gifts will ~{ut with them all I am so far from faver, 'hat she shall sure have no groat, if I have her. [swear,

Lnd I shall have as little, all my friends !xcept I follow them, to wed elsewhere. The poor friends of this rich widow bear no

sway,

>ut wed her and win wealth, when I will I may, [ow which of these twain is like to be dearest? fn pain or pleasure to stick to me nearest? 'he depth of all doubts with you to confither, ['he sense of the said proverb sendeth me hither, [scan'd,

'he best bargain of both quickly to have 'or one of them, think I, to make out of hand.

Chai^ter II.

Friend, (quoth I), welcome ! and with right

good will, I will, as I can, your will herein fulfil. And two things I see in you, that show you

wise. First, in wedding, ere ye wed to ask advice. The second, your years being young it appears, Ye regard yet good proverbs of old feme years. And, as ye ground your tale upon one of them, Furnish we this tale with everychone of them. Such as may fitly fall in mind to dispose. Agreed, (quoth he). Then, (quoth I), first this

disclose — [maid,

Have you to this old widow, or this young Any words of assurance ere this time said?

6 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. II.

Nay, In good faith ! said he. Well then, (said

I will be plain with you, and may honestly And plainly too speak : I like you, (as I said), In two foretold things ; but a third have I

weighed Not so much to be liked, as I can deem ; Which is, in your wedding, your haste so

extreme. The best or worst thing to man, for this life, Is good or ill choosing his good or ill wife. I mean not only of body good or bad, But of all things meet or unmeet to be had ; Such as at any time by any mean may. Between man and wife, love increase or decay. Where this ground in any head gravely

grateth. All fiery haste to wed, it soon rebateth. Some things that provoke young men to wed

in haste. Show, after wedding, that haste maketh waste. When time hath turned white sugar to white

salt, [malt.

Then such folk see, soft fire maketh sweet And that deliberation doth men assist. Before they wed, to beware of Had I wist. And then, their timely wedding doth clear

appear That they were early up, and- never the near. And once their hasty heat a little controlled, Then perceive they well, hot love soon cold. And when hasty witless mirth is mated weele, Good to he merry and wise, they think and

feel. Haste in wedding some man thinketh his own avail.

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. II. 7

When haste proveth a rod made for his own

tail. And when he is well beaten with his own rod, Then seeth he haste and wisdom things jar

odd. [need,

And that in all, or most things, wisht at Most times he seeth, the more haste the less

speed. [hasty man's foe,

In less things than wedding haste show'th So that the hasty man never wanteth woe. These sage said saws if ye take so profound. As ye take that by which ye took your ground, Then find ye grounded cause by these now here

told, In haste to wedding your haste to withhold. And though they seem wives for you never so

fit, [wit

Yet let not harmful haste so far outrun your But that ye hark to hear all the whole sum That may please or displease you in time to

come. [cheap

Thus, by these lessons, ye may learn good In wedding and all thing to look or ye leap. Ye have even now well overlooked me, (quoth

he). And leapt very nigh me too. For, I agree That these sage sayings do weightily weigh Against haste in all thing, but I am at bay By other parables, of like weighty weight, Which haste me to wedding, as ye shall hear

straight.

I

8 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. III.

Chapter III.

He that will not when he may, When he would he shall have nay. Beauty or riches, the tone of the twain Now may I choose, and which me list obtain. And if we determine me this maid to take, And then tract of time train her me to forsake^ Then my beautiful marriage lieth in the dike ; And never for beauty shall I wed the like. Now if we award me this widow to wed, And that I drive off time, till time she be dead. Then farewell riches, the fat is in the fire, And never shall I to like riches aspire. And, a thousandfold would it g-rieve me more That she, in my fault, should die one hour

before [voke,

Than one minute after ; then haste must pro- When the pig is proffered to hold up the poke. When the sun shineth make hay ; which is to

say, [away.

Take time when time cometh, lest time steal And one good lesson to this purpose I pike From the smith's forg-e, when th'iron is hot,

strike ! [man ;

The sure seaman seeth, the tide tarrieth no And long delays or absence somewhat to scan. Since that, that one will not another will — Delays In wooers must needs their speed spill. And touching absence, the full accompte who

summeth Shall see, as fast as one goeth another cometh. Time is tickle; and, out of sight, out of mind. Then catch and hold while I may : fast hind,

fast find. [bleared.

Blame me not to haste for fear mine eye he

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. III. 9

And thereby the fat clean flit from my heard. Where wooers hop in and out, long time may

bring" Him that hoppcth best at last to have the ring. I hopping without for a ring of a rush, And while I at length debate and heat the hush, There shall step in other men and catch the

birds. And by long time lost in many vain words. Between these two wives make sloth speed

confound; [ground.

While, between two stools, my tail go to By this, since we see sloth must breed a scab. Best stick to the tone out of hand, hab or nab. Thus, all your proverbs inveighing against

haste, [placed.

Be answered with proverbs plain and promptly Whereby, to purpose all this no further fits, But to show so many heads so many wits. Which show, as surely in all that they all tell, That in my wedding 1 may even as well Tarry too long, and thereby come too late. As come too soon by haste in any rate. And prove this proverb, as the words thereof

go- Haste or sloth herein work nother wealth nor Be it far or nigh, wedding is destiny. [woe — And hanging likewise, saith that proverb, said

I. Then wed or hang, (quoth he), what helpeth In

the whole, To haste or hang aloof, happy man happy dole. Ye deal this dole, (quoth I), out at a wrong

dur ; For destiny, in this case doth not so stir Against man's endeavour, but man may direct

lo Proverbs, Pt. L, Ch. IV.

His will, for provision to work or neglect. But, to show that quick wedding may bring good speed, [deed.

Somewhat to purpose your proverbs prove in- Howbeit, whether they counterpoise or out- weigh The proverbs which I before them did lay, The trial thereof we will lay a water Till we try more. For trying of which matter Declare all commodities ye can devise That, by those two weddings, to you can rise.

Chapter IV.

I will, (quoth he), in both these cases straight

show [grow.

What things, (as I think), to me by them will And, where my love began, there begin will I With this maid, the piece peerless in mine eye ; Whom I so favour, and she so favoureth me. That half a death to us ['tis] asunder to be. Affection, each to other, doth us so move That well nigh, without food, we could live by

love. ^ [sight,

For, be I right sad, or right sick, from her Her presence absenteth all maladies quite ; Which seen, and that the great ground in

marriage Standeth upon liking the parties personage. And then of old proverbs, in opening the pack. One sheweth me openly, in love is no lack. No lack of liking, but lack of living May lack in love, (quoth I), and breed ill

chieving. ^Vell, as to that, (said he), hark this othing : What time I lack not her, I lack nothing.

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. IV. ii

But though we have nought, nor nought we

can geat, God never sendeth mouth hut he sendeth meat ; And a hard beginning maketh a good ending ; In space cometh grace, and this further amend- ing— Seldom cometh the better, and like will to like ; God sendeth cold after clothes; and this I pike, She, by lack of substance, seeming but a

spark, Steinth yet the stoutest : for a leg of a lark Is better than is the body of a kite; And home is homely though it he poor in sight. These proverbs for this part show such a

flourish, And then this party doth delight so nourish ; That much is my bow bent to shoot at these

marks, [have larks.

And kill fear : when the sky falleth we shall All perils that fall may, who feareth they fall

shall, Shall so fear all thing, that he shall let fall all ; And be more fraid than hurt, if the things were

doone; [moon;

Fear may force a man to cast beyond the Who hopeth in God's help, his help cannot

start : Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. And will may win my heart, herein to consent, To take all things as it cometh, and be content. And here is, (q'he), in marrying of this maid. For courage and commodity all mine aid. Well said, (said I), but awhile keep we in

I quench [wench.

All this case, as touching this poor young

12 Proverbs, Pt. L, Ch. V.

What manner thing-s draw your imagination Toward your wedding of this widow, rich and

old? That shall ye, (q'he), out of hand have told.

Chapter V.

This widow, being foul, and of favour ill, In good behaviour can very good skill ; Pleasantly spoken, and a very good wit ; And, at her table, when we together sit, I am well served — we fare of the best ; The meat good and wholesome, and whole- somely dressed ; [shift — Sweet and soft lodging, and thereof great This felt and seen ; with all implements of

thrift, [coffers ;

Of plate and money such cupboards and And that without pain I may win these proffers. Then covetise, bearing Venus 's bargain back, Praising this bargain saith, better leave than

lack. And greediness, to draw desire to her lore, Saith, that the wise man saith, store is no sore. Who hath many peas may put the mo in the

pot; [in lot.

Of two ills, choose the least, while choice lieth Since lack is an ill, as ill as man may have, To provide for the worst, while the best Itself

save. Resty wealth willeth me this widow to win, To let the world wag, and take mine ease in

mine inn — [chin ;

He must needs swim, that is hold up by the He laugheth that winneth. And this thread

finer to spin.

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. V. 13

Maister promotion saieth : make this substance

sure; If riches brings once portly countenance in ure, Then shalt thou rule the roost all round about ; And better to rule, than be ruled by the rout. It is said : be it better, be it worse, Do ye after him that beareth the purse. Thus be I by this once le senior de graunde, Many that commanded me I shall command. And also I shall, to revenge former hurts. Hold their noses to grindstone, and sit on their

skirts That erst sat on mine. And riches may make Friends many ways. Thus, better to give than And, to make carnal appetite content, [take. Reason laboureth will, to win will's consent, To take lack of beauty but as an eye fore, The fair and the foul by dark are like store ; When all candles be out all cats be grey ; All things are then of one colour, as who say. And this proverb saith, for quenching hot

desire Foul water as soon as fair will quench hot fire. Where gifts be given freely — east, west, north

or south— No man ought to look a given horse in the

mouth. [tail —

And though her mouth be foul she hath a fair 1 conster this text, as is most my avail. In want of white teeth and yellow hairs to

behold. She flourisheth in white silver and yellow gold. What though she be toothless^ and bald as a

coot? Her substance is shoot anker, whereat I shoot. Take a pain for a pleasure all wise men can —

14 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. VI.

What? hungry dogs will eat dirty puddings,

man ! And here I conclude, (quoth he), all that I

know By this old widow, what good to me may grow.

Chapter VI.

Ye have, (quoth I), in these conclusions found Sundry things, that very savourly sound ; And both these long cases, being well viewed, In one short question we may well include; Which is : whether best or worse be to be led With riches, without love or beauty, to wed ; Or, with beauty without richesse, for love. This question, (quoth he), inquireth all that I

move. It doth so, (said I), and is neerly couched. But th 'answer will not so briefly be touched; And yourself, to length it, taketh direct trade. For to all reasons that I have yet made, Ye seem more to seek reasons how to contend, Than to the counsel of mine to condescend. And to be plain, as I must with my friend, I perfectly feel, even at my finger's end, So hard is your hand set on your halfpenny , That my reasoning your reason setteth nought But, reason for reason, ye so stiffly lay [by. By proverb for proverb, that with you do

weigh. That reason only shall herein nought move you To hear more than speak; wherefore, I will

prove you With reason, assisted by experience, [hence. Which myself saw, not long since nor far In a matter so like this fashioned in frame

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. VI. 15

That none can be liker — it seemeth even the

same ; And in the same, as yourself shall espy, Each sentence suited with a proverb well nigh ; And, at end of the same, ye shall clearly see How this short question shortly answered may

be. [prick ;

Yea, marry ! (quoth he) ; now ye shoot nigh the Practise in all, above all toucheth the quick. Proof upon practise, must take hold more sure Than any reasoning by guess can procure. If ye bring practise in place, without fablingj I will banish both haste and busy babling. And yet, that promise to perform is mickle, For in this case my tongue must oft tickle. Ye know well it is, as telleth us this old tale. Meet that a man be at his own bridal, [were ; If he wive well, (quoth I), meet and good it Or else as good for him another were there. But for this your bridal, I mean not in it That silence shall suspend your speech every

whit. But in these marriages, which ye here meve, Since this tale containeth the counsel I can

give, I would see your ears attend with your tongue ; For advice in both these weddings, old and

young. [to talk.

In which hearing, time seen when and what When your tongue tickleth, at will let it walk. And in these bridals, to the reasons of ours, Mark mine experience in this case of yours.

i6 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. VII.

Chapter VII.

Within few years passed, from London no far way, ^ ^ [lay,

Where I and my wife with our poor household Two youngs men were abiding ; whom to dis- crive Were I, in portraying persons dead or alive, As cunning and as quick, to touch them at full. As in that feat I am ignorant and dull, Never could I paint their pictures to allow More lively than to paint the picture of you. And as your three persons show one similitude, So show you three one, in all things to be

viewed. Likewise a widow and a maid there did dwell ; Alike, like the widow and maid ye of tell, The friends of them four, in every degree Standing in state, as the friends of you three. Those two men, each other so hasted or tarried. That those two women on one day they married. [stand,

Into two houses, which next my house did The one on the right, th 'other on the left hand. Both bridegrooms bade me — I could do none

other But dine with the tone, and sup with the tother. He that wedded this widow rich and old, And also she, favoured me so that they wold Make me dine or sup once or twice in a week. This poor young man and his make, being to seek [bad,

As oft where they might eat or drink, I them Were I at home, to such pittance as I had. Which common conference such confidence wrought

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. VII. 17

In them to me, that deed, word, ne well nigh

thought Chanced among them, whatever it were, [ear. But one of the four brought it straight to mine Whereby, between these twain, and their two

wives, [lives.

Both for wealth and woe, I knew all their four And since the matter is much intricate, Between side and side, I shall here separate All matters on both sides, and then sequestrate Th'one side, while th'other be full rehearsed,

in rate. As for your understanding may best stand. And this young poor couple shall come first in

hand Who, the day of wedding, and after a while, Could not look each on other but they must

smile ; As a whelp, for wantonness, in and out whips. So played these twain, as merry as three chips. Yea, there was God, (quoth he), when all is

doone. Abide ! (quoth I), it was yet but honey moon ; The black ox had not trod on his nor her foot. But ere this branch of bliss could reach any

root, The flowers so faded that, in fifteen weeks A man might espy the change in the cheeks. Both of this poor wretch, and his wife, this

poor wench — [French.

Their faces told toys, that Tott'n'am was turned And all their light laughing turn'd and trans- lated Into sad sighing; all mirth was amated. And, one morning timely, he took in hand To make, to my house, a sleeveless errand;

HEY. II. c

i8 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. VIII.

Hawking upon me, his mind herein to break, Which I would not see till he began to speak, Praying me to hear him : and I said, I would ; Wherewith this that followeth forthwith he told.

Chapter VIII.

I am now driven, (quoth he}, for ease of my

heart To you, to utter part of mine inward smart. And the matter concerneth my wife and me. Whose fathers and mothers long since dead

be; But uncles, with aunts and cousins, have we Divers, rich on both sides ; so that we did see If we had wedded, each where each kindred

would, Neither of us had lacked either silver or gold. But never could suit, on either side, obtain One penny to the one wedding of us twain. And since our one marrying, or marring day. Where any of them see us, they shrink away. Solemnly swearing, such as may give ought. While they and we live, of them we get right

nought. [get,

Nor nought have we, nor no way ought can we Saving by borrowing till we be in debt So far, that no man any more will us lend ; Whereby, for lack, we both be at our wits'

end. Whereof, no wonder; since the end of our

good, And beginning of our charge, together stood. But wit is never good till it be bought. Howbeit, when bought, wits to best price be

brought ;

Proverbs, Pt I., Ch. VIII. 19

Yet is one good forewit worth two after wits. This payeth me liomCy lo ! and full mo folly

hits ; For, had I looked afore, with indifferent eye, Though haste had made me thirst never so dry. Yet to drown this drought, this must I needs

think : As I would needs hreiv, so nnist I needs drink. The drink of my bride cup I should have for- borne, Till temperance had tempered the taste beforne. I see now, and shall see while I am alive, Who weddeth or he he wise shall die or he

thrive. I sing now in this fact, factus est repente. Now mine eyes be open I do repent me : He that will sell lawn before he can fold it, He shall repent him before he have sold it. Some harf^ains dear bought, good cheap would

be sold ; No man loveth his fetters, be they made of

gold ; Were I loose from the lovely links of my chain, I would not dance in such fair fetters again. In house to keep household, when folks will

needs wed, [bed.

Mo things belong than four bare legs in a I reckoned my wedding a sugar-sweet spice ; But reckoners without their host much reckon

twice. [twain,

And, although it were sweet for a week or Sweet meat will have sour sauce, I see now Continual penury, which I must take, [plain. Telleth me : better eye out than alway ache. Boldly and blindly I ventured on this; Howbeit, who so hold as blind Bayard is?

c 2'

20 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. IX.

And herein, to blame any man, then should I

rave For I did it myself : and self do, self have. But, a day after fair cometh this remorse For relief : for, thoug^h it be a good horse That never stumhleth, what praise can that

avouch [touch ?

To jades that break their necks at first trip or And before this my first foil or breakneck fall, Subtilly like a sheep, thought I, I shall Cut my coat after my cloth when I have her. But now I can smell, nothing hath no savour ; I am taught to know, in more haste than good How Judicare came into the Creed. [speed.

My careful wife in one corner weepeth in care, And I in another; the purse is threadbare. This corner of our care, (quoth he), I you tell, To crave therein your comfortable counscl.

Chapter IX.

I am sorry, (quoth I), of your poverty; And more sorry that I cannot succour ye ; If ye stir your need mine alms to stir, Then of truth ye beg at a wrong man's dur. There is nothing more vain, as yourself tell can, Than to beg a breech of a bare-arsed man. I come to beg- nothing- of you, (quoth he). Save your advice, which may my best way be ; How to win present salve for this present sore. I am like th'ill surg-eon, (said I), without store Of g-ood plasters. Howbeit, such as they are. Ye shall have the best I have. But first declare Where your and your wife's rich kinfolk do dwell. [well,

Environed about us, (quoth he), which showeth

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. IX. 21

The nearer to the church, the farther from God. Most part of them dwell within a thousand rod ; And yet shall we catch a hare with a taber As soon as catch aught of them, and rather. Ye play cole-prophet, (quoth I), who taketh in

hand To know his answer before he do his errand. What should I to them, (quoth he), fling- or flit? An unbidden guest knoweth not where to sit. I am cast at cart's arse^ some folk in lack Cannot prease : a broken sleeve holdeth th'arm

back ; And shame holdeth me back, being thus for- saken. Tush, man ! (quoth I), shame is as it is taken; And shame take him that shame thinketh ye

think none. Unminded, unmoaned, go make your moan; Till meat fall in your mouth, will ye lie in bed ? Or sit still? nay, he that gapeth till he be fed May fortune to fast and famish for hunger. Set forward, ye shall never labour younger. Well, (quoth he), if I shall needs this viage

make With as good will as a bear goeth to the

stake, I will straight weigh anchor, and hoist up sail ; And thitherward hie me in haste like a snail; And home again hitherward quick as a bee : Now, for good luck, cast an old shoe after me. And first to mine uncle, brother to my father. By suit I will assay to win some favour. Who brought me up, and till my wedding was

done Loved me, not as his nephew, but as his son ; And his heir had I been, had not this chanced,

2 2 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. IX.

Of lands and goods which should me much

avanced. [bones

Trudge, (quoth I), to him, and on your mary- Crouch to the ground, and not so oft as once Speak any one word him to contrary. I cannot tell that, (quoth he), by Saint Mary ! One ill word axeth another, as folks spake. Well ! (quoth I), better is to how than break — It hurteth not the tongue to give fair words ; The rough net is not the best catcher of birds. Since ye can nought win, if ye cannot please, Best is to suffer : for of sufferance cometh ease. Cause causeth, (quoth he), and as cause causeth

me, So will I do : and with this away went he. Yet, whether his wife should go with him or no, He sent her to me to know ere he would go. Whereto I said, I thought best he went alone. And you, (quoth I), to go straight as he is

gone, .\mong your kinsfolk likewise, if they dwell

nigh. Yes, (quoth she), all round about, even here

by. Namely, an aunt, my mother's sister, who well, (Since my mother died), brought me up from

the shell. And much would have given me, had my

wedding grown Upon her fancy, cts it grew upon mine own. And, in likewise, mine uncle, her husband, was A father to me. Well, (quoth I), let pass; And, if your husband will his assent grant, Go, he to his uncle, and you to your aunt. Yes, this assent he granteth before, (quoth

she),

^

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. X. 23

For he, ere this, thought this the best way to be. [none

But of these two things he would determine Without aid : for two heads are better than one. With this we departed, she to her husband, And I to dinner to them on th 'other hand.

Chapter X.

When dinner was done I came home again To attend on the return of these twain. And ere three hours to end were fully tried. Home came she first : welcome, (quoth I), and

well hied ! Yea, a short horse is soon curried, (quoth she) ; But the weaker hath the worse we all day see. After our last parting, my husband and I Departed, each to place agreed formerly. Mine uncle and aunt on me did lower and

glome ; [welcome.

Both bade me God speed, but none bade me Their folks glomed on me too, by which it

appeareth : The young cock croweth, as he the old heareth. At dinner they were, and made, (for manners'

sake), A kinswoman of ours me to table take ; A false flatt'ring filth; and, if that be good. None better to bear two faces in one hood. She speaketh as she would creep into your

bosom; [bottom

And, when the meal-mouth hath won the Of your stomach, then will the pickthank it tell To your most enemies, you to buy and sell. To tell tales out of school, that is her great

lust :

24 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. X.

Look what she knoweth, hlah it wist, and out it

must. There is no mo such titifils in England's ground, To hold with the hare, and run with the hound. Fire in the tone hand, and water in the tother, The makebate beareth between brother and

brother. She can wink on the ewe and worry the lamb; She maketh earnest matters of every flimflam. She must have an oar in every man's barge; And no man may chat ought in ought of her

charge. Coll under canstick, she can play on both

hands ; Dissimulation well she understands. She is lost with an apple, and won with a nut; Her tongue is no edge tool, but yet it will cut. Her cheeks are purple ruddy like a horse plum ; And the big part of her body is her bum. But little tit-all'tail, I have heard ere this, As high as two horse-loaves her person is. For privy nips or casts overthwart the shins, He shall lese the mastery that with her begins. She is, to turn love to hate, or joy to grief, A pattern as meet as a rope for a thief. Her promise of friendship for any avail. Is as sure to hold as an eel by the tail. She is nother fish, nor flesh, nor good red

herring. She is a ringleader there; and I, fearing She would spit her venom, thought it not evil To set up a candle before the devil. I clawed her by the back, in way of a charm To do me, not the more good, but the less

harm ; Praying her, in her ear, on my side to hold ;

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. X. 25

She thereto swearing, by her false faith, she

would. Straight after dinner mine aunt had no choice. But other burst, or burst out in Pilate's voice : Ye huswife, what wind bloweth ye hither this night? [is light.

Ye might have knocked ere ye came in ; leave Better unborn than untaught, I have heard

say; But be ye better fed than taught, far away ; Not very fat fed, said this flebergebet ; [jet.

But need hath no law; need maketh her hither She Cometh, niece Alice, (quoth she), for that is her name, [shame.

More for need than for kindness, pain of Howbeit, she cannot lack, for he findeth that

seeks ; Lovers live by love, yea, as larks live by leeks, Said this Alice, much more than half in mock- age. Tush ! (quoth mine aunt), these lovers in dot- age [courage Think the ground bear them not, but wed of They must in all haste ; though a leaf of borage Might buy all the substance that they can sell. Well, aunt, (quoth Alice), all is well that ends well. [end; Yea, Alice, of a good beginning cometh a good Not so good to borrow, as be able to lend. Nay indeed, aunt, (quoth she), it is sure so ; She must needs grant she hath wrought her own woe. [stone, She thought, Alice, she had seen far in a mill- When she gat a husband, and namely such one. As they by wedding could not only nought win, But lose both living and love of all their kin.

26 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. X.

Good aunt, (quoth I), humbly^ I beseech ye,

My trespass done to you forg-ive it me.

I know, and knowledge I have wrought mine

own pain ; But things past my hands, I cannot call again. True, (quoth AHceJ, things done cannot he un- done, Be they done in due time, too late, or too soon ; But better late than never to repent this. Too late, (quoth mine aunt}, this repentance

showed is : When the steed is stolen shut the stable durre. I took her for a rose, but she breedeth a burr ; She Cometh to stick to me now in her lack ; Rather to rent off my clothes fro my back, Than to do me one farthing worth of good. I see day at this little hole. For this hood Showeth what fruit will follow. In good faith,

I said. In way of petition I sue for your aid. Ah, well ! (quoth she), now I well understand The walking staff hath caught warmth in your

hand. A clean-fingered huswife, and an idle, folk say. And will be lime-fingered, I fear, by my fay ! It is as tender as a parson's leman — [than? Nought can she do, and what can she have As sober as she seemeth, few days come about But she will once wash her face in an ale clout. And then between her and the rest of the rout, / proud, and thou proud, who shall hear

th'ashes out? [breathe,

She may not bear a feather, hut she must She maketh so much of her painted sheath. She thinketh her farthing good silver, I tell

you;

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. X. 27

But, for a farthing, whoever did sell you Might boast you to be better sold than bought. And yet, though she be worth nought, nor have

nought, Her gown is gayer and better than mine. At her gay gown, (quoth Alice), ye may repine, Howbeit, as we may, we love to go gay all. Well, well ! (quoth mine aunt), pride will have

a fall; [after.

For pride goeth before, and shame cometh Sure, (said Alice), in manner of mocking

laughter, [worse

There is nothing in this world that agreeth Than doth a lady's heart and a beggar's purse. But pride she showeth none, her look reason

alloweth, [mouth.

She looketh as butter would not melt in her Well, the still sow eats up all the draf, Alice ; All is not gold that glitters, by told tales. In youth she was toward and without evil : But soon ripe, soon rotten; young saint, old

devil — [horns.

Howbeit, Lo God sendeth the shrewd cow short While she was in this house she sat upon

thorns, Each one day was three till liberty was borrow, For one month's joy to bring her whole life's

sorrow. [well ;

It were pity, (quoth Alice), but she should do For beauty and stature she beareth the bell. Ill weed groweth fast, Alice : whereby the corn

is lorne ; For surely the weed overgroweth the corn. Ye praise the wine before ye taste of the grape ; But she can no more harm than can a she ape.

i

28 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. X.

She lacketh but even a new pair of sleeves. If I may, (as they say), tell truth without sin, Of truth she is a wolf in a lamb's skin. Her heart is full high when her eye is full low — A guest as good lost as found, for all this

show — But ma7iy a good cow hath an evil calf. I speak this, daughter, in thy mother's behalf, My sister, (God rest her soul !) whom, though I

boast, Was called the flower of honesty in this coast. Aunt, (quoth I), I take for father and mother Mine uncle and you, above all other. When we would, ye would not be our child,

(quoth she), [we ;

Wherefore now when ye would, now will not Since thou wouldst needs cast away thyself

thus. Thou shalt sure sink in thine own sin for us. Aunt, (quoth I), after a doting or drunken

deed, Let submission obtain some mercy or meed. He that killeth a man when he is drunk, (quoth

she), Shall be hanged when he is sober; and he, Whom in itching no scratching will forbear, He must bear the smarting that shall follow

there. And thou, being borne very nigh of my stock, Though nigh be my kirtle, yet near is my

smock — I have one of mine own whom I must look to. Yea, aunt, (quoth Alice), that thing must ye

needs do; Nature compelleth you to set your own first up ; For I have heard say, it is a dear collop

Proverbs, Pt I., Ch. X. 29

I'hat is cut out of th'own flesh. But yet, aunt, So small may her request be, that ye may

g:rant To satisfy the same, which may do her good, And you no harm in th'avancing your own

blood. [crave.

And cousin, (quoth she to me), what ye would Declare, that cur aunt may know what ye

would have. Nay, (quoth I), be they winners or losers, Folk say alway beggars should he no

choosers. [please ;

With thanks I shall take whatever mine aunt Where nothing is, a little thing doth ease; Hunger maketh hard beans sweet; where

saddles lack, [back.

Better ride on a pad than on the horse hare And by this proverb appeareth this o 'thing- : That alway somewhat is better than nothing. Hold fast when ye have it, (quoth she), by my

life ! [wife.

The boy thy husband, and thou the girl, his Shall not consume that I have laboured for. Thou art young enough, and I can work no

more. Kit Calloty my cousin, saw this thus far on. And in mine aunt's ear she whispereth anon, Roundly these words, to make this matter

whole : Aunt, let them that be a-cold blow at the coal. They shall for me, Alice, (quoth she), by God's

blist ! She and I have shaken hands : farewell, un-

kissed ! And thus, with a beck as good as a dieu gard. She flang fro me, and I from her hitherward.

3P Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XL

Begging- of her booteth not the worth of a

bean; [mean.

Little knoweth the fat sow what the lean doth Forsooth ! (quoth I), ye have bestirred ye

well— [fell?

But where was your uncle while all this fray Asleep by, (quoth she), routing like a hog; And it is evil waking of a sleeping dog. The bitch and her whelp might have been

asleep too, For ought they in waking to me would do. Fare ye well ! (quoth she) ; I will now home

straight, [wait.

And at my husband's hands for better news

Chapter XI.

He came home to me the next day before noon : What tidings now, (quoth I), how have ye

doon? Upon our departing, (quoth he), yesterday, Toward mine uncle's, somewhat more than

midway, I overtook a man, a servant of his. And a friend of mine; who guessed straight

with this What mine errand was, offering in the same To do his best for me; and so, in God's name Thither we went ; nobody being within But mine uncle, mine aunt, and one of our

kin — A mad knave, as it were a railing jester, Not a more gaggling gander hence to Chester. At sight of me he asked, who have we there? I have seen this gentleman, if I wist where; Howbeit, lo ! seldom seen, soon forgotten.

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI. 31

He was, (as he will be), somewhat cupshotten : Six days in the week, beside the market day, Malt is above wheat with him, market men say. I>ut forasmuch as I saw the same taunt Contented well mine uncle and mine aunt. And that / came to fall in and not to fall out, 1 forbear; or else his drunken red snout 1 would have made as oft change from hue

to hue As doth the cocks of Ind; for this is true : It is a small hop on my thumb ; and Christ wot, It is wood at a word — little pot soon hot. Xow merry as a cricket, and by and by Angry as a wasp, though in both no cause why. But he was at home there, he might speak his

will : Every cock is proud, on his own dunghill. I shall be even with him herein when I can. But he, having done, thus mine uncle began : Ye merchant ! what attempteth you to attempt

us. To come on us before the messenger thus? Roaming in and out, I hear tell how ye toss ; But son, the rolling stone never gathereth

moss. Like a pickpurse pilgrim ye pry and ye prowl At rovers, to rob Peter and pay Poule. Iwys, I know, or any more be told. That draf is your errand, but drink ye wolde. Uncle, (quoth I), of the cause for which I

come I pray you patiently hear the whole sum. In faith ! (quoth he), without any more

summing, I know to beg of me is thy coming. Forsooth! (quoth his man), it is so, indeed;

32 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI.

And I dare boldly boast, if ye knew his need, Ye would of pity yet fet him in some stay. Son, better be envied than pitied, folk say; And for his cause of pity, (had he had grace). He might this day have been clear out of the

case; [f'^'og —

But now he hath well fished and caught a Where nought is to wed with, wise men flee the

clog. Where I, (quoth I), did not as ye willed or bad, That repent I oft, and as oft wish I had. Son, (quoth he), as I have heard of mine olders, Wishers and woulders be no good house- holders : This proverb for a lesson, with such other. Not like, (as who sayeth), the son of my

brother, But like mine own son, I oft before told thee To cast her quite off ; but it would not hold thee When I willed thee any other where to go — Tush ! there was no mo maids but malkin

though Ye had been lost to lack your lust when ye list. By two miles trudging twice a week to be

kissed. I would ye had kissed — well I will no more stir : It is good to have a hatch before the dur. But who will, in time present, pleasure refrain Shall, in time to come, the more pleasure

obtain. Follow pleasure, and then will pleasure flee; Flee pleasure, and pleasure will follow thee. And how is my saying come to pass now? How oft did I prophesy this between you And your ginifinee nycebecetur? [petre?

When sweet sugar should turn to sour salt-

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI. 33

Thereby ye should in saying that ye never

saw,

Think that you never thought yourself a daw. But that time ye thought me a daw, so that I Did no good in all my words then, save only Approved this proverb plain and true matter : A man may well bring a horse to the water, But he cannot make him drink without he will. Colts, (quoth his man), may prove well with

tatches ill, F'or of a ragged colt there cometh a good

horse — If he be good now of his ill past no force, [he), Well, he that hangeth himself a Sunday, (said Shall hang still uncut down a Monday for me. I have hanged up my hatchet, God speed him

well ! [tell :

A wonder thing what things these old things Cat after kind good mouse hunt; and also Men say, kind will creep where it may not go. Commonly all thing showeth fro whence it

came ; The litter is like to the fire and the dam; How can the foal amble if the horse and mare

trot ? These sentences are assigned unto thy lot. By conditions of thy father and mother, My sister-in-law, and mine own said brother. Thou followest their steps as right as a line. F'or when provender prickt them a little tyne. They did as thy wife and thou did, both dote Each one on other; and being not worth a

groat, [last,

They went (witless) to wedding ; whereby, at They both went a-begging. And even the like

cast

HEY. II. D

34 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI.

Hast thou ; thou wilt beg or steal ere thou

die — Take heed, friend, I have seen as far come as

nigh. If ye seek to find things ere they he lost, Ye shall find one day you come to your cost. This do I but repeat, for this I told thee ; And more I say ; but I could not then hold thee ; Nor will not hold thee now ; nor such folly feel, To set at my heart that thou settest at thy heel. And as of my good ere I one groat give, I will see how my wife and myself may live. 71iou goest a-gleaning ere the cart have carried; But ere thou glean ought, since thou wouldst

be married, [then?

Shall I make thee laugh now, and myself weep Nay, good child ! better children weep than old

men. [upon fools ;

Men should not prease much to spend much Fish is cast away that is cast in dry pools. To fiee charge, and find ease, ye would now

here host — It is easy to cry ble at other men's cost. But, a how long bent, at length must wear

weak: [break.

Long bent I toward you, but that bent I will Farewell, and feed full, that love ye well to do; But you lust not to do that longeth thereto. The cat would eat fish and would not wet her

feet; [in heat.

They must hunger in frost that will not work And he that will thrive must ask leave of his

wife; [life.

But your wife will give none : by your and her It is hard to wive and thrive both in a year. Thus, by thy wiving, thriving doth so appear.

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI. 35

That thou art past thrift before thrift begin. But lo ! will will have will, though will woe

win ; Will is a good son, and will is a shrewd hoy ; And wilful shrewd will hath wrought thee this

toy. A gentle white spur, and at need a sure spear ; He standeth now as he had a flea in his ear. Howbeit, for any great courtesy he doth make, It seemeth the gentle man hath eaten a steak. He beareth a dagger in his sleeve, trust me, To kill all that he meeteth prouder than he. He will perk : I here say he must have the

bench — [French.

Jack would be a gentleman if he could speak He thinketh his feet be where his head shall

never come; He would fain flee, hut he wanteth feathers,

some. Sir, (quoth his man), he will no fault defend, But hard is for any man all faults to mend — He is lifeless, that is faultless, old folks

thought. [nought.

He hath, (quoth he), hut one fault, he is Well, (quoth his man), the best cart may over-

throw. [though.

Carts well driven, (quoth he), go long upright, But, for my reward, let him be no longer tarrier, / will send it him by John Long the carrier. O ! help him, sir, (said he), since ye easily may. Shameful craving, (quoth he), must have

shameful nay. [one yea.

Ye may, sir, (quoth he), mend three nays with Two false knaves need no broker, men say,

(said he). Some say also, it is merry when knaves meet;

D 2

36 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XL

But the mo knaves, the worse company to

greet; [craveih.

The one knave now croucheth while th' other But to show what shall be his relevavith, Either after my death, if my will be kept, Or during- my life : had I this hall hept [eat With gold, he may his part on Good Friday And fast never the worse, for ought he shall

geat. [son :

These former lessons conned, take for this, Tell thy cards, and then tell me what thou hast

won. Now, here Is the door, and there is the way ; And so, (quoth he), farewell, gentle Geoffrey ! Thus parted I from him, being much dismayed, Which his man saw, and (to comfort me) said : What, man, pluck up your heart, be of good

cheer ! After clouds hlack, we shall have weather clear. What, should your face thus again the wool

be shorn For one fall? What, man, all this wind shakes

no corn ! Let this wind overblow ; a time I will spy To take wind and tide with me, and speed

thereby. [small roast

I thank you, (quoth I), but great boast and Maketh unsavoury mouths, wherever men host. And this boast very unfavourly serveth ; For while the grass groweth the horse sterveth ; Better one bird in hand than ten in the wood. Rome was not built in one day, (quoth he), and

yet stood Till it was finished, as some say, full fair. Your heart is in your hose, all in despair; But, as every man sayeth, a dog hath a day —

r

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XL 37

Should you, a man, despair then any day?

nay ! Ye have many strings to the bow, for ye know, Though I, having the bent of your uncle's bow, Can no way bring- your bolt in the butt to stand ; Yet have ye other marks to rove at hand. The keys hang not all by one man's girdle,

man ; [can

Though nought will be won here, I say, yet ye Taste other kinsmen ; of whom ye may geat Here some, and there some : many small make

a great. [curses,

For come light winnings with blessings or Evermore light gains make heavy purses. Children learn to creep ere they can learn to

go; And, little and little, ye must learn even so. Throw no gift again at the giver's head; For, better is half a loaf than no bread. I may beg my bread, (quoth I), for my kin all That dvvelleth nigh. Well, yet, (quoth he),

and the worst fall, Ye may to your kinsman, hence nine or ten

mile, Rich without charge, whom ye saw not of long

while. That benchwhistler, (quoth I), is a pinchpenny. As free of gift as a poor man of his eye. I shall get a fart of a dead man as soon As a farthing of him ; his dole is soon done. He is so high in th'instep, and so straight-

laced, That pride and covetise withdraweth all repast. Ye know what he hath been, (quoth he), but

i-wis, bsence sayeth plainly, ye know not what he is.

38 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI.

Men know J (quoth I), I have heard now and

then, How the market goeth hy the market men. Further it is said, who that saying weigheth, Jt must needs he true that every man sayeth. Men say also : children and fools cannot lie — And both man and child sayeth, he is a heinsby. And myself knoweth him, I dare boldly brag-, Even as well as the heggar knoweth his hag. And I knew him not worth a grey groat ; He was at an ehb, though he he now afloat. Poor as the poorest. And now nought he

setteth By poor folk, For the parish priest forgetteth That ever he hath heen holy water clerk. By ought I can now hear, or ever could mark, Of no man hath he pity or compassion. Well, (quoth he), every man after his fashion ; He may yet pity you, for ought doth appear, Jt happeth in one hour that happeth not in

seven year. Forspeak not your fortune, nor hide not your

need; Nought venture, nought have; spare to speak,

spare to speed; Unknown, unkissed; it is lost that is unsought. As good seek nought, (quoth I), as seek and

find nought. It is, (quoth he), ill fishing hefore the net. But though we get little, dear hought and far

fet Are dainties for ladies. Go we both two; I have for my master thereby to do. I may break a dish there; and sure I shall Set all at six and seven, to win some windfall. And I will hang the hell ahout the cat's neck.

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI. 39

For I will first break and jeopard the first

check. [mine,

And for to win this prey, though the cost be Let us present him with a bottle of wine. What should we, (quoth I), g-rease the fat sow

in th'arse, We may do much ill, ere we do much wars. It is, to give him, as much alms or need. As cast water in Thames, or as good a deed As it is to help a dog over a stile. [while.

Then go we, (quoth he), we lese time all this To follow his fancy we went together, [thither, And toward night yesternight when we came She was within, but he was yet abroad, [toad, And straight as she saw me she swelled like a Pattering the devil's Pater noster to herself : God never made a more crabbed elf ! She bade him welcome, but the worse for me ; This knave cometh a-begging by me, thought

she. [wind ;

I smelled her out, and had her straight in the She may abide no beggars of any kind. They be both greedy guts all given to get They care not how : all is fish that cometh to

net. [ning

They know no end of their good; nor hegin- Of any goodness : such is wretched winning. Hunger droppeth even out of both their noses. She goeth with broken shoon and torn hoses ; But who is worse shod than the shoemaker's

wife, With shops full of new shoes all her life? Or who will do less than they that may do

most? And namely of her I can no way make boast. She is one of them to whom God bade ho;

40 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI.

She will all have, and will right nought forego ; She will not part with the paring of her nails; She toileth continually for avails ; Which life she hath so long now kept in ure, That for no life she would make change, be

sure. But this lesson learned I, ere I was years seven : They that he in hell ween there is none other

heaven. She is nothing fair, but she is ill favoured ; And no more uncleanly than unsweet favoured ; But hackney men say at mangy hackney's

hire, [squire.

A scald horse is good enough for a scabbed He is a knucklebone-yard, very meet To match a minion nother fair nor sweet. He winketh with the tone eye and looketh with

the tother ; J will not trust him though he were my brother. He hath a poison wit, and all his delight To give taunts and checks of most spiteful

spite. In that house commonly, such is the cast, A man shall as soon break his neck as his fast; And yet, now such a gid did her head take, That more for my mate's than for manner's

sake. We had bread and drink, and a cheese very

great ; But the greatest crabs be not all the best meat. For her crabbed cheese, with all the greatness. Might well abide the fineness, or sweetness. Anon he came in ; and when he us saw, To my companion kindly he did draw; And a well favoured welcome to him he yields, Bidding me welcome strangely over the fields

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI. 41

With these words : Ah, young- man ! I know

your matter; l)y my faith ! you come to look in my water; And for my comfort to your consolation, ]'e would buy my purse — give me a purgation! But I am laxative enough there otherwise. Ihis, (quoth this young man), contrary doth

rise ; For he is purse-sick, and lacketh a physician; And hopeth upon you in some condition. Not by purgation, but by restorative. To strength his weakness to keep him alive. I cannot, (quoth he), for though it be my lot To have speculation, yet I practise not. / see much, hut I say little, and do less In this kind of physic — and what would ye

guess : Shall I consume myself to restore him now? Nay, hackare ! (quoth Mortimer to his sow); He can, before this time, no time assign. In which he hath laid down one penny by mine. That ever might either make me bite or sup. And by'r lady, friend ! nought lay down, nought

take up ; Ka me, ka thee; one good turn asketh another; Nought won by the tone, nought won by the

tother. [miles

To put me to cost, thou camest half a score Out of thine own nest, to seek me in these out

isles : Where thou wilt not step over a straw, I think. To win me the worth of one draught of drink, No more than I have won of all thy whole h^m stock.

I^Hf have been common Jack to all that whole ■ flock;

42 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI.

When ought was to do I was common

hackney — Folk call on the horse that will carry alway — But evermore the common horse is worst shod. Desert and reward he ofttimes things far odd; At end / might put my winning in mine eye, And see never the worse, for ought I wan

them by. [end,

And now, without them I live here at stave's Where I need not borrow, nor I will not lend. It is good to heware by other men's harms ; But thy taking- of thine halter In thine arms Teacheth other to beware of their harms by

thine : Thou hast stricken the hall under the line. I pray you, (quoth I), pity me, a poor man, With somewhat till I may work as I can. Toward your working-, (quoth he), ye make

such tastings. As approve you to be none of the hastings. Ye run to work in haste as nine men held ye; But whensoever ye to work must yield ye, // your meet-mate and you meet together, Then shall we see two men hear a feather; Recompensing former loitering life loose. As did the pure penitent that stale a goose And stack down a feather,. And, where old

folk tell That evil gotten good never proveth well; Ye will truly get, and true getting well keep Till time ye be as rich as a new shorn sheep. Howbeit, when thrift and you fell first at a

fray, [away.

You played the man, for ye made thrift run So help me God ! in my poor opinion, A man might make a play of this minion,

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI. 43

And fain no ground, but take talcs of his own

friends : / suck not this out of my own fingers' ends. And since ye were wed, although 1 nought gave

you, [you !

Yet pray I for you, God and Saint Luke save And here is all : for what should I further

wade? I was neither of court nor of council made; And it is, as I have learned in listening, A poor dog that is not worth the whistling. A day ere I was wed, I bade you, (quoth 1). Scarb'rough warning I had, (quoth he), where- I kept me thence, to serve thee according, [by And now, if this night's lodging and boarding May ease thee, and rid me from any more

charge, [large.

Then welcome ! or else get thee straight at For of further reward, mark how I boast me, In case as ye shall yield me as ye cost me. So shall ye cost me as ye yield me likewise ; Which is, a thing of nought rightly to surmise. Herewithal, his wife, to make up my mouth, Not only her husband's taunting tale avoweth, But thereto deviseth to cast in my teeth Checks and choking oysters. And when she

seeth Her time to take up, to show my fare at best : Ye see your fare, (said she), set your heart at

rest. Fare ye well! (quoth I), however I fare now; And well mote ye fare both when I dine with

you. 'ome, go we hence, friend ! (quoth I to my

mate) — ^And now will I make a cross on this gate.

44 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI.

And I, (quoth he), cross thee quite out of my

hook Since thou art cross failed; avail, unhappy

hook ! By hook or crook nought could I win there;

men say : He that cometh every day, shall have a.

cockney; [hen.

He that cometh now and then, shall have a fat But / gat not so much in coming seeld when. As a good hen's feather, or a poor eggshell: As good play for nought as work for nought,

folk tell. Well, well ! (quoth he), we be but where we

were; Come what come would, I thought ere we came

there. That if the worst fell, we could have hut a nay. There is no harm done, man, in all this fray; Neither pot hroken, nor water spilt. Farewell, he ! (quoth I), I will as soon be hilt As wait again for the moonshine in the water. But is not this a pretty piked matter? To disdain me, who muck of the world

hoardeth not. As he doeth ; it may rhyme hut it accordeth not. She foameth like a hoar, the beast should seem

bold; For she Is as fierce as a Lion of Cotsolde. She frieth in her own grease, but as for my

part. If she he angry, heshrew her angry heart ! Friend, (quoth he), he may show wisdom at

will, [still :

That with angry heart can hold his tongue Let patience grow in your garden alway.

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XI. 45

Some loose or odd end will come, man, some

one day From some friend, either in life or at death. Death ! (quoth I), take we that time to take

a breath? Then graft we a green graft on a rotten root : Who waiteth for dead men shoes shall go long

barefoot. Let pass, (quoth he), and let us be trudging- Where some noppy ale is, and soft sweet

lodging. Be it, (quoth I), but I would very fain eat ; At breakfast and dinner I eat little meat. And two hungry meals make the third a glutton. We went where we had boiled beef and bake Whereof I fed me as full as a tun; [mutton, And a-bed were we ere the clock had nine run. Early we rose, in haste to get away ; And to the hostler this morning, by day. This fellow called. What ho ! fellow, thou

knave ! I pray thee let me and my fellow have A hair of the dog that bit us last night — And bitten were we both to the brain aright. We saw each other drunk in the good ale glass, And so did each one each other, that there was, Save one ; but old men say that are skilled : A hard foughten field where no man scapeth

unkilled. [the shot ;

The reckoning reckoned, he needs would pay And needs he must for me, for I had it not. This done we shook hands, and parted in fine; He into his way, and I into mine. But this journey was quite out of my way : Many kinsfolk and few friends, some folk say ; But I find many kinsfolk, and friend not one.

46 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XII.

Folk say — It hath been said many years since

gone — [deed,

Prove thy friend ere thou have need; but, in- A jriend is never known till a man have need. Before I had need, my most present foes [goes : Seemed my most friends ; but thus the world Every man basteth the fat hog we see ; But the lean shall burn ere he basted be. As sayeth this sentence, oft and long said

before : He that hath plenty of goods shall have more; He that hath hut a little, he shall have less; He that hath right nought, right nought shall

possess. [what obtain,

Thus, having right nought, and would some- With right nought, (quoth he), I am returned

again.

Chapter XII.

Surely, (quoth I), ye have in this time, thus

worn, Made a long harvest for a little corn ! Howbeit, comfort yourself with this old text. That telleth us, when hale is hekst, boot is

next ; Though every man may not sit in the chair, Yet alway the grace of God is ivorth a fair. Take no thought in no case, God is where he

was. But put case, in poverty all your life pass, Yet poverty and poor degree, taken well, Feedeth on this : he that never climbed, never

fell. [somewhere,

And some case, at some time, showeth prefe That riches bringeth oft harm, and ever fear.

Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XII. 47

Where poverty passeth without grudge of grief. What, man ! the beggar may sing before the And who can sing so merry a note [thief ;

As may he that cannot change a groat? Yea, (quoth he), beggars may sing before

thieves, [greeves.

And weep before true men, lamenting their Some say, and I feel, hunger pierceth stone

wall ; Meat, nor yet money to buy meat withal. Have I not so much as may hunger defend Fro my wife and me. Well ! (quoth I), God

will send [see.

Time to provide for time, right well ye shall God send that provision in time ! (said he.) And thus, seeming well-nigh weary of his life, The poor wretch went to his like poor wretched

wife : [their knees ;

From wantonness to wretchedness, brought on Their hearts full heavy, their heads be- full of

bees. And after this a month, or somewhat less. Their landlord came to their house to take a

stress For rent ; to have kept Bayard in the stable — But that to win, any power was unable. For, though it be ill playing with short daggers, Which meaneth, that every wise man staggers, In earnest or boord to be busy or bold With his biggers or betters, yet this is told : Whereas nothing is, the king must lose his

right. [quight.

And thus, king or keyser, must have set them But warning to depart thence they needed none ; For, ere the next day, the birds were flown,

each one

48 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XII.

To seek service ; of which, where the man was

sped, The wife could not speed ; but, maugre her

head, [nigh,

She must seek elsewhere, for either there or Service for any suit she none could espy. All folk thought them, not only too lither To linger both in one house together ; But also, dwelling nigh under their wings. Under their noses they might convey things — Such as were neither too heavy nor too hot — More in a month than they their master got In a whole year. Whereto folk further weigh-

ingj Receive each of other in their conveying. Might be worst of all ; for this proverb preeves : Where he no receivers, there he no thieves. Such hap here hapt, that common dread of such

gyles Drove them and keepeth them asunder many

miles. Thus, though love decree departure death to he, Yet poverty parteth fellowship, we see; And doth those two true lovers so dissever, That meet shall they seeld when, or haply never. And thus by love, without regard of living. These twain have wrought each other's ill

chieving ; [friends,

And love hath so lost them the love of their That I think them lost ; and thus this tale ends.

roverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XIII. 49

Chapter XIII.

^h, sir ! (said my friend), when men will needs

marry, see now, how wisdom and haste may vary : Namely, where they wed for love altogether. I would for no good, but I had come hither. Sweet beauty with sour beggary ! nay, I am

gone To the wealthy withered widow, by Saint John ! What ! yet in all haste, (quoth I) ? Yea ! (q. he) ; For she hath substance enough ; and ye see That lack is the loss of these two young fools. Know ye not, (quoth I), that, after wise men's

schools, A man should hear all parts ere he judge any? Why axe ye that (quoth he)? For this, (quoth

I told you, when I this began, that I would Tell you of two couples; and I, having told But of the tone, ye be straight starting away, As 1 of the tother had right nought to say ; Or, as yourself of them right nought would

hear. [clear

Nay, not all so, (quoth he), but since I think There can no way appear so painful a life Between your young neighbour and his old

rich wife. As this tale in this young poor couple doth

show ; And that the most good or least ill ye know To take at end, I was at beginning bent, W^ith thanks for this and your more pain to

prevent. Without any more matter now revolved,

HEY. II. E

50 Proverbs, Pt. I., Ch. XIII.

I take this matter here clearly resolved ; And that ye herein award me to forsake Beggarly beauty, and rivalled riches take. That's just, if the half shall judge the whole,

(quoth I) ; [try.

But yet, hear the whole, the whole wholly to To it (quoth he) then, I pray you, by and by. We will dine first, (quoth I), it is noon hig-h. We may as well, (quoth he), dine when this

is done; The longer forenoon, the shorter afternoon — All Cometh to one, and thereby men have

guessed, Ahvay the longer east, the shorter west. We have had, (quoth I), before ye came, and

syne. Weather meet to set paddocks ahrood in: Rain more than enough; and when all shrews

have dined. Change from foul weather to fair is oft inclined. And all the shrews in this part, saving one wife That must dine with us, have dined, pair of

my life ! [ing

Now, if good change of ill weather be depend- Upon her diet, what were mine offending To keep the woman any longer fasting? If ye, (quoth he), fet all this far casting For common wealth, as it appeareth a clear

case, [place.

Reason would your will should, and shall take

Thus Endeth the First Part.

PART II

Chapter I.

Hners cannot be long where dainties want ; 'here coin is not common, commons must he scant.

In post pace we passed from potag^e to cheese, And yet this man cried : Alas, what time we

lese ! He would not let us pause after our repast ; But apart he plucked me straight, and in all haste, [maid,

As I of this poor young man, and poor young Or more poor young wife, the foresaid words

had said, So prayeth he me now the process may be told, Between th'other young man, and rich widow- old. If ye lack that, (quoth I), away ye must wind, With your whole errand, and half th 'answer behind. [you loth,

Which thing to do, since haste thereto showeth And to haste your going, the day away goeth ; And that time lost, again we cannot win : Without more loss of time, this tale I begin. In this late old widow, and then old new wife, Age and appetite fell at a strong strife: Her lust was as young as her limbs were old.

E 2

52 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. I.

The day of her wedding-, like one to be sold,

She set out herself in fine apparel.

She was made like a heer pot, or a barrel;

A crooked hooked nose, beetle browed, blear

eyed. Many men wished, for beautifying- that bride, Her waist to be gird in, and for a bon grace. Some well favoured visor on her ill favoured But with visorlike visage, such as it was, [face. She smirked, and she smiled, but so lisped this

lass, [alone

That folk might have thought it done only Of wantonness, had not her teeth been gone. Upright as a candle standeth in a socket Stood she that day, so simper-de-cocket. Of ancient fathers she took no cure nor care, She was to them as coy as a croker's mare. She took th 'entertainment of the young men All in dalliance, as nice as a nun's hen. I suppose that day her ears might well glow. For all the town talked of her, high and low. One said, a well favoured old woman she is; The devil she is, said another; and to this, In came the third, with his five eggs, and said, Fifty year ag-o I knew her a trim maid. Whatever she were then, (said one), she is now To become a bride, as meet as a sow To hear a saddle. She is, in this marriage, As comely as is a cow in a cage. Gup ! with a g-alled back Gill, come up to

supper ! [crupper !

^\Tlat? mine old mare would have a new And now mine old hat must have a new hand ! Well, (quoth one), glad Is he that hath her in A goodly marriage she is, I hear say. [hand ; She is so, (quoth one), were the woman away.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. I. 53

Well, (quoth another), fortune this moveth ; And in this case every man as he loveth Quoth the good man when thai he kissed his

cow. [a vow !

That kiss, (quoth one), doth well here, by God But how can she give a kiss, sour or sweet? — Her chin and her nose within half an inch God is no botcher, sir! said another; [meet. He shapeth all parts as each part may fit

other. [scanning-;

Well, (quoth one), wisely, let us leave this God speed them ! be as be may is no banning. That shall be, shall be; and with God's grace

they shall Do well, and that they so may, wish we all. This wonder, (as wonders last), lasted nine

days; [their ways,

Which done, and all guests of this feast gone Ordinary household this man straight began Very sumptuously, which he might well do

than. [was set

What he would have, he might have; his wife In such dotage of him, that fair words did fet Gromwell-seed plenty ; and pleasure to prefer. She made much of him, and he mocked much

of her. I was, (as I said), much there, and most of all The first month; iii which time such kindness

did fall Between these two counterfeit turtle birds ; To see his sweet looks, and hear her sweet

words, [ure,

And to think wherefore they both put both in It would have made a horse break his halter

sure. [taught

All the first fortnight their ticking might have

54 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. I.

Any young- couple their love ticks to have

wrought. [is green.

Some laughed, and said : all thing is gay that

Some thereto said : the green new broom

sweepeth clean. But since all thing is the worse for the wearing^ Decay of clean sweeping folk had in fearing. And indeed, ere two months away were crept, And her biggest bags into his bosom swept, Where love had appeared in him to her alway Hot as a toast, it grew cold as a hay. He at meat carving her, and none else before, Now carved he to all but her, and her no more. Where her words seemed honey, by his smil- ing cheer, [hear. Now are they mustard, he frowneth them to And when she saw sweet sauce began to wax

sour, She waxed as sour as he, and as well could

lower. So turned they their tippets by way of ex- change, [range From laughing to lowering^, and taunts did so That in plain terms, plain truth to you to utter. They two agreed like two cats in a gutter. Marry, sir ! (quoth he), by scratching and biting [citing. Cats and dogs come together, by folks re- Together by the ears they come, (quoth I),

cheerly ; Howbeit those words are not void here clearly. For, in one state they twain could not yet

settle, But wavering as the wind : in dock, out nettle. Now in, now out; now here, now there; now sad.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. II. 55

Now merry ; now high, now low ; now good,

now bad. In which unsteady sturdy storms strainable. To know how they both were irrefrainable, Mark how they fell out, and how they fell in: At end of a supper she did thus begin.

Chapter II.

Husband, (quoth she), I would we were in our nest; [rest.

When the helly is full, the hones would be at So soon upon supper, (said he), no question Sleep maketh ill and unwholesome digestion : By that diet a great disease once I gat. [that. And burnt child fire dreadeth ; I will beware of What, a post of physic, (said she)? Yea, a

post; And from post to pillar, wife, I have been tossed By that surfeit. And I feel a little fit Even now, by former attempting of it. Whereby, except I shall seem to leave my wit Before it leave me, I must now leave it. I thank God, (quoth she), I never yet felt pain To go to bed timely ; but rising again. Too soon in the morning, hath me displeased. And I, (quoth he), have been more diseased By early lying down, than by early rising. But thus differ folk, lo ! in exercising : That one may not, another may. Use maketh maistry ; and men many times say That one loveth not, another doth; which hath

sped All meats to be eaten, and all maids to be wed. Haste ye to bed now, and rise ye as ye rate ;

56 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. II.

While I rise early, and come to bed late. Long- lying- warm in bed is wholesome, (quoth

she); [(quoth he).

While the leg warmeth, the boot harmeth, Well, (quoth she), he that doeth as most men do, Shall he least wondered on; and take any two That be man and wife, in all this whole town, And most part together they rise and lie down. When birds shall roost, (quoth he), at eight,

nine, or ten, [hen?

Who shall appoint their hour — the cock, or the The hen, (quoth she); the cock, (quoth he);

just, (quoth she), [(quoth he).

As Germans lips. It shall prove more just. Then prove I, (quoth she), the more fool far

away ; But there is no fool to the old fool, folk say. Ye are wise enough, (quoth he), if ye keep ye

warm. To be kept warm, and for none other harm, Nor for much more good, I took you to wed. I took not you, (quoth he), night and day to

bed. Her carrain carcase, (said he), is so cold Because she is aged, and somewhat too old. That she killeth me : I do but roast a stone In warming her. And shall not I save one. As she would save another? Yes, by Saint

John! Ah, sir ! (quoth she), marry ! this gear is alone. Who that worst may shall hold the candle; I

see [me.

I must warm bed for him should warm it for This medicine thus ministered is sharp and

cold ; [told.

But all thing that is sharp is short, folk have

Proverbs, Pt II., Ch. II. 57

This trade is now begun, but if it hold on, Then farewell my good days ! they will be soon gone. [break.

Gospel in thy mouth, (quoth he), this strife to Howbeit, all is not gospel that thou dost speak. But what need we lump out love, at once lash- ing [for dashing? As we should now shake hands ? what ! soft The fair lasteth all the year; we be new knit, And so late met that I fear we part not yet, Quoth the baker to the pillory. Which thing, From distemperate fonding, temperance may bring ; [strong, And this reason to aid, and make it more Old wise folk say : love me little, love me long. I say little, (said she), but I think more; Thought is free. Ye lean, (quoth he), to the

wrong shore. Brawling booted not, he was not that night bent To play the bridegroom : alone to bed she went. This was their beginning of jar. Howbeit, For a beginning, this was a feat fit, And but a fleabiting to that did ensue — The worst is behind ; we come not where it

grew. How say you, (said he to me), by my wife? The devil hath cast a bone, (said I), to set strife Between you ; but it were a folly for me To put my hand between the bark and the tree; Or to put my finger too far in the fire Between you, and lay my credence in the mire. To meddle little for me it is best ; For of little meddling cometh great rest. Yes, ye may meddle, (quoth he), to make her

wise, Without taking harm, in giving your advice.

58 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. III.

She knoweth me not yet; but if she wax too wild [child.

I shall make her know an old knave is no Slugging- in bed with her is worse than watch- ing ; [ing. I promise you an old sack axeth much patch- Well, (quoth I), to-morrow I will to my beads To pray, that as ye both will, so ache your

heads ; And in meantime, my aching head to ease, I will couch a hogshead. Quoth he, when ye

please. We parted; and this, within a day or twain, Was raked up in th'ashes, and covered again.

Chapter III.

These two days past, he said to me, when ye

will [have Jill.

Come chat at home ; all is well — Jack shall Who had the worst end of the staff, (quoth I),

now ? [you ?

Shall the master wear a hreech, or none? say I trust the sow will no more so deep root. But if she do, (quoth he), you must set in foot; And whom ye see out of the way, or shoot

wide. Over-shoot not yourself any side to hide ; But shoot out some words, if she be too hot. She may say, (quoth I), a fool's holt soon shot. Ye will me to a thankless office hear ; And a busy officer I may appear; And, Jack out of office, she may bid me walk; And think me as wise as Waltham's calf, to

talk

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. III. 59

Or chat of her charge, having- therein nought

to do. Howbeit, if I see need, as my part cometh too, Gladly between you 1 will do my best. I bid you to dinner, (quoth he), as no guest, And bring your poor neighbours on your other

side. I did so. And straight as th'old wife us espied, She bade us welcome, and merrily toward me : Green rushes for this stranger, straw here,

(quoth she). With this, apart she pulled me by the sleeve, Saying in few words : my mind to you to

meve. So it is, that all our great fray, the last night, Is forgiven and forgotten between us quite ; And all frays by this I trust have taken end, For I fully hope my husband will amend. Well amended, (thought I), when ye both

relent, [ment.

Not to your own, but each to other's mend- Now, if hope fail, (quoth she), and chance

bring about Any such breach, whereby we fall again out, I pray you tell him he's pars vers, now and

than, And wink on me. Also hardly, if ye can Take me in any trip. Quoth I, I am loth To meddle commonly. For as this tale go'th. Who meddleth in all thing may shoe the

gosling. [bring

Well ! (quoth she), your meddling herein may The wind calm between us, when it else might

rage. I will, with good will, (quoth I), ill winds to

swage,

6o Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IV.

Spend some wind at need, though I waste wind

in vain. To table we sat where fine fare did remain ; Merry we were as cup and can could hold; Each one with each other homely and bold. And she for her part, made us cheer heaven

high— I'he first part of dinner merry as a pie : But a scald head is soon broken; and so they, As ye shall straight hear, fell at a new fray.

Chapter IV.

Husband, (quoth she), ye study, be merry now; And even as ye think now, so come to you. Nay, not so, (quoth he), for my thought to tell

right, I think how ye lay groaning wife, all last night. Husband ! a groaning horse, and a groaning

wife, [life.

Never fail their master, (quoth she), for my No, wife ! a woman hath nine lives like a cat. Well, my lamb ! (quoth she), ye may pick out

of that. As soon goeth the young lamskin to the market As th' old ewe's. God forbid, wife ! ye shall

first jet. I will not jet yet, (quoth she), put no doubting : It is a had sack that will abide no clouting. And, as we oft see, the lothe stake standeth

long. So is it an ill stake, I have heard among. That cannot stand one year in a hedge. I drink! (quoth she). Quoth he, / will not

pledge.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IV. 6i

What need all this? a man may love his house

well Though he ride not on the ridge, I have heard

tell. [stinketh;

What? I ween, (quoth she), proffered service But somewhat it ts, I see, when the cat

winketh, [shun ;

And both her eyne out; but further strife to Let the cat wink, and let the mouse run. This passed, and he cheered us all, but most

cheer On his part, to this fair young wife did appear. And as he to her cast oft a loving eye. So cast her husband like eye to his plate by; Wherewith in a great musing he was brought. Friend ! (quoth the good man), a penny for

your thought. [dish.

For my thought, (quoth he) ; that is a goodly But of truth I thought : better to have than

wish. [(quoth he)?

What ! a goodly young wife, as you have. Nay, (quoth he), goodly gilt goblets, as here

be. [show,

By'r lady, friends! (quoth I), this maketh a To show you more unnatural than the crow : The crow thinketh her own birds fairest in the

wood. [stood),

But, by your words, (except I wrong under- Each other's birds or jewels, ye do weigh Above your own. True, (quoth the old wife),

ye say ! But my neighbour's desire rightly to measure, Cometh of need, and not of corrupt pleasure; And my husband's more of pleasure, than of

need. [best feed ;

Old fish and young flesh, (quoth he), doth men

62 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IV.

And some say, change of pasture maketh fat

calves. As for that, reason, (quoth she), runneth to

halves : As well for the cow calf as for the hull. And though your pasture look barrenly and

dull, Yet look not on the meat, but look on the man; And whoso looketh on you, shall shortly skan. Ye may write to your friends that ye are in

health; But all thing- may be suffered saving- wealth. An old said saw : itch and ease can no man

please ; Plenty is no dainty ; ye see not your own ease. I see, ye cannot see the wood for trees, [sees Your lips hang in your light; but this poor man Both how blindly ye stand in your own light; And that you rose on your right side here right ; And might have gone further and have faren

worse. I wot well I might, (quoth he), for the purse ; But ye be a haby of Belsabuh's bower. \^sour ; Content ye, (quoth she) ! take the sweet with the Fancy may bolt bran and make ye take it flour. It will not be, (quoth he), should I die this

hour, [eye.

While this fair flower flourisheth thus in mine Yes, it might, (quoth she), and hear this reason

why :

Snow is white, ^ a i i j. -xt

A A T 4.1 • Ml j-u Y And every man lets it he. And Iteth in the dike. ) -^

Pepper is black, \ And every man doth it

And hath a good smack, j buy.

Milk, {q' he), is white, \ But all men know it

And lieth not in the dike.j good meat.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IV. 63

Ink is all black, \ No man will it drink

A nd hath an ill smack. ) nor eat.

Thy rhyme, (quoth he), Is much older than

mine; But mine, being- newer, is truer than thine. Thou likenest now, for a vain advantage, [age, White snow to fair youth, black pepper to foul Which are placed out of place here, by rood ! Black ink is as ill meat, as black pepper is

good ; [is ill —

And white milk as good meat, as white snow But a milk snow-white, smooth, young skin,

who change will [face?

For a pepper ink-black, rough, old withered Though change be no robbery for the changed

case, [wit.

Yet shall that change rob the changer of his For, who this case searcheth, shall soon see in

it, That as well agreeeth thy comparison in these, As alike to compare in taste, chalk and cheese; Or alike in -colour to deem ink and chalk. Walk, drab, walk ! Nay, (quoth she), walk,

knave, walk ! Sayeth that term, Howbeit, sir, I say not so ; And best we lay a straw here, and even there,

ho! Or else this gear will breed a pad in the straw; If ye haul this way, 1 will another way draw. Here is God in th'ambry (quoth 1} ! Quoth he.

Nay! Here is the devil in ih'orologe, ye may say. Since this, (quoth I), rather bringeth bale than

boot. Wrap it in the cloth, and tread it under foot. Ye harp on the string that giveth no melody;

64 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IV.

Your tongues run before your wits, by Saint

Antony ! [(quoth he) ;

Mark ye, how she hitteth me on the thumbs, And ye taunt me tit over thumb, (quoth she). Since tit for tat, (quoth I), on even hand is set, Set the hare's head against the goose giblet. She is, (quoth he), bent to force you, perforce To know that the grey mare is the better horse. She choppeth logic, to put me to my clargy : She hath one point of a good hawk; she is

hardy. But wife, the first point of hawking is hold fast. And hold ye fast, I rede you, lest ye be cast In your own turn. Nay, she will turn the leaf ; And rather, (quoth I),' take as falleth in the

sheaf [too bold.

At your hands; and let fall her hold, than be Nay, I will spit in my hands, and take better

hold. He, (quoth she), that will be angry without

cause, Must be at one, without amends ; by sage saws. Tread a worm on the tail, and it must turn

again. He taketh pepper in the nose, that I complain Upon his faults, myself being- faultless ; But that shall not stop my mouth, ye may well

guess. [good ;

Well, (quoth I), too much of one thing is not Leave off this ! Be it ! (quoth he), fall we to

our food ; But sufferance is no quittance in this daiment. No, (quoth she), nor misreckoning is no pay-

ment. [friend ;

But even reckoning maketh long friends, my For alway own is own at the reckoning' s end.

1^

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. V. 65

lis reckoning thus reckoned, and dinner once

done, ''e three from them twain departed very soon.

Chapter V.

'his old woman, the next day after this night, Stale home to me, secretly as she might, To talk with me; in secret counsel, (she said). Of things which in no wise might be bewrayed. We twain are one too many, (quoth I), for men

say : Three may a-keep counsel, if two be away. Hut all that ye speak, unmeet again to tell, / will say nought but mum, and mum is counsel. Well then, (quoth she), herein avoiding all

fears, [ears.

Avoid your children : small pitchers have wide Which done, (she said), I have a husband, ye

know, [show.

Whom I made of nought, as the thing self doth And for these two causes only, him 1 took — First, that for my love, he should lovingly look In all kind of cause, that love engender might To love and cherish me by day and by night ; Secondly, the substance, which I to him

brought, [nought.

He rather should augment, than bring to But now my good, shall both be spent, ye shall

see. And it in spending sole instrument shall be Of my destruction, by spending it on such s shall make him destroy me ; I fear this

much. [hoop ;

e maketh havoc, and setteth cock on the HEY. n. F

66 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. V.

He is so lavish, the stock beginneth to droop ; And as for gain is dead and laid in tomb, When he should get aught, each finger is a

thumb ; Each of his joints against other justles, As handsomely as a bear picketh muscles. Flattering- knaves and flearing queans being the

mark, [wark.

Hang on his sleeve : many hands make light He hath his hawks in the mew; but, make ye

sure, With empty hands men may no hawks allure. There is a nest of chickens, which he doth

brood, [hood.

That will sure make his hair grow through his They can curry favel; and make fair weather While they cut large thongs of other men's

leather. He maketh his marts with merchants likely To bring a shilling to sixpence quickly. If he hold on avi^hile as he begins, We shall see him prove a merchant of eel- skins — A merchant without either money or ware. But all be bug's words, that I speak to spare. Better spare at brim than at bottom, say I. Ever spare and ever bare, (saith he), by and by. Spend, and God shall send, (sayeth he), saith

th' old ballet, What sendeth he, (say I), a staff and a wallet? Then up goeth his staff, to send me aloof; He is at three words up in the house roof. And herein to grow, (quoth she), to conclusion, I pray your aid, to avoid this confusion; And for counsel herein, I thought to have gone To that cunning man, our curate, Sir John.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. V. 67

But this kept me back : I have heard, now and

then, The greatest clerks he not the wisest men. I think, (quoth I), whoever that term began. Was neither great clerk, nor the greatest wise

man. In your running from him to mc, ye run Out of God's blessing into the warm sun. Where the blind leadeth the blind, both jail in

the dike; And, blind be we both, if we think us his like. Folk show much jolly, when things should be

sped. To run to the joot that may go to the head. Since he best can, and most ought, to do it, I fear not, but he will, if ye will woo it. There is one let, (quoth she), mo than I spake

on : My husband and he be so great, that the ton Cannot piss but the tother must let a jart. Choose we him aparty, then farewell my part ; We shall so part stake, that I shall lese the

whole. [sole.

Folk say of old : the shoe will hold with the Shall I trust him, then? nay, intrust is treasoti. But I trust you, and come to you this season To hear me, and tell me, what way ye think

best lo hem in my husband, and set me in rest. It ye mind, (quoth I), a conquest to make (^ver your husband, no man may undertake To bring you to ease, nor the matter amend Hxcept ye bring him to wear a cock's comb at

end. lor, take that your husband were, as ye take

him,

r 2

68 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. V.

As I take him not, as your tale would make

him, Yet were contention like to do nought in this But keep him nought, and make him worse

than he is. [clear,

But, in this complaint for counsel quick and A few proverbs for principles, let us hear : IVIio that may not as they would, will as they

may; [obey.

And this to this : they that are hound must Folly it is to spurn against a prick; To strive against the stream, to winch or kick Against the hard wall. By this ye may see, Being bound to obedience, as ye be, And also overmatched, sufferance is your dance . He may overmatch me, (quoth she), perchance In strength of body, but my tongue is a limb Fo match and to vex every vein of him. Tongue breaketh bone, itself having none,

(quoth I) ; [awry.

If the wind stand in that door, it standeth The peril of prating out of tune by note, Telleth us that a good bestill is worth a groat ; In being your own foe, you spin a fair thread. Advise ye well, for here doth all lie and bleed; Flee th' attempting of extremities all. Folk say : better sit still than rise and fall. F'or little more or less no debate make; At every dog's bark seem not to awake. And where the small with the great cannot

agree, The weaker goeih to the pot, we all day see. .So that alway the bigger eateth the bean — Ye can nought win, by any wayward mean. Where the hedge is lowest men may soonest

over :

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. V. 69

He silent ! let not your tongue run at rover ; Since by strife ye may lose, and cannot win, Suffer ! it is good sleeping in a whole skin. If he chide, keep you bill under wing mute; Chatting to chiding is not worth a chut. We see many times, might overcometh right — Were not you as good then to say the crow is

white ? And so, rather let fair words make fools fain, Than be plain without pleats, and plant your

own pain. For, were ye as plain as Dunstable highway, Yet should ye that way rather break a love day, Than make one thus; though ye perfectly knew All that ye conjecture to be proved true. Yet better dissemble it, and shake it off, Than to broid him with it in earnest or scoff. If he play falsehed in fellowship, play ye See me and see me not; the worst part to flee. Why, think ye me so white-livered, (quoth

she), _ ^ [ye

That I will be tongue-tied? Nay, I warrant They that will be afraid of every fart Must go far to piss. Well, (quoth I), your

part Is to suffer (I say) ; for ye shall preeve Taunts appease not things ; they rather

agrieve. But for ill company, or expense extreme, I here no man doubt, so far as ye deem ; And there is no fire without some smoke, we

see. [she) ;

Well, well ! make no fire, raise no smoke, (said What cloak for the rain soever ye bring me, Myself can tell best where my shoe doth wring

me.

70 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. V.

But as ye say : where fire is smoke will appear. And so hath it done; for I did lately hear How flek and his make use their secret haunt- ing, [ing. By one bird, that in mine ear was late chaunt- One swallow maketh not summer, (said I), men say. \lay, I have, (quoth she), mo blocks in his way to For further increase of suspicion of ills : Beside his jetting- into the town to his gills, With callets he consumeth himself and my

goods ; Sometime in the fields, sometime in the woods, , Some hear and see him whom he heareth nor seeth not — [wot ;

But fields have eyes and woods have ears, ye And also on my maids he is ever tooling. Can ye judge a man, (quoth I), by his looking? What, a cat may look on a king, ye know ! My cat's leering look, (quoth she), at first

show, Showeth me that my cat goeth a catterwawing ; And specially by his manner of drawing To Madge, my fair maid ; for may he come

nigh her He must needs bass her, as he cometh by her. He loveth well sheep's flesh, that wets his

bread in the wool — ■ If he leave it not, we have a crow to pull. He loveth her better at the sole of the foot Than ever he loved me at the heart root. It is a foul bird that fileth his own nest; I would have him live as God's law hath ex- pressed, And leave lewd ticking : he that will none ill do Must do nothing that belongeth thereto;

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. V. 7^

To tick and laugh with me he hath lawful leave. To that I said nought, but laughed in my

sleeve ; But when she seemed to be fixed in mind, Rather to seek for that she was loth to find, Than leave that seeking, by which she might

find ease, I fained this fancy, to feel how it would please. Will ye do well? (quoth 1), take pain to watch

him ; And if ye chance in advoutry to catch him, Then have ye him on the hip, or on the hurdle ; Then have ye his head fast under your girdle ; Where your words now do but rub him on the

gall, [wall.

That deed without words shall drive him to the And further than the wall he cannot go. But must submit himself; and if it hap so That at end of your watch he guiltless appear, Then all grudge, grown by jealousy, taketh

end clear. [she) ;

Of all folks I may worst watch him, (said For of all folks himself most watcheth me ; I shall as soon try him, or take him this way, As drive a top over a tiled house : no, nay ! I may keep corners or hollow trees with th' owl. This seven years, day and night to watch a

bowl. Before I shall catch him with undoubted evil. He must have a long spoon shall eat with the And the devil is no falser than is he. [devil : I have heard tell, it had need to be [ear —

A wily mouse that should breed in the cat's Shall I get within him then? nay, ware that

gear ! It is hard halting before a cripple, ye wot ;

72 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. V.

A falser water drinker there llveth not. When he hunteth a doe that he cannot avow, All dogs hark not at him, I warrant yow. Namely not I, I say, though as I said, He sometime, though seldom, by some be be- wrayed, [loweth ; Close hunting, (quoth I), the good hunter al- But, be your husband never so still of mouth, If ye can hunt, and will stand at receipt, Your maid examined, maketh him open

straight. [preef,

That were, (quoth she), as of my truth to make To axe my fellow whether I be a thief. They cleave together like hurrs ; that way I

shall Pike out no more than out of the stone wall. Then like ye not to watch him for wife nor

maid? [I said ;

No ! (quoth she). Nor I, (quoth I), whatever And I mislike not only your watch in vain, But also, if ye took him, what could ye gain? From suspicion to knowledge of ill, forsooth ! Could make ye do but as the flounder doeth — Leap out of the frying pan into the fire; And change from ill pain to worse is worth

small hire. [douht;

Let time try ! Time trieth truth in every And deem the best till time hath tried the truth

out. And reason sayeth : make not two sorrows of

one ; But ye make ten sorrows where reason maketh

none. [wink

For where reason, (as I said), willeth you to (Although all were proved as ill as ye think), Contrary to reason ye stamp and ye stare;

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. V. 73

Ye fret and ye fume, as mad as a March hare, Without proof to his reproof, present or past, But by such report as most prove lies at last. And here goeth the hare away ; for ye judge all, And judge the worst in all, ere proof in ought

fall. [saws ;

But blind men should judge no colours: by old And folk ofttimes are most blind in their owti

cause — The blind eat many flies. Howbeit, the fancy Of your blindness cometh not of ignorancy. Ye could tell another herein the best way; But it is as folk do, and not as folk say ; For they say, saying and doing are two things To defend danger that double dealing brings : As ye can seem wise in words, be wise in deed. That is, (quoth she), sooner said than done^ I

drede ; But methinketh your counsel weigheth in the

whole To make me put my finger in a hole ; And so, by sufferance, to be so lither In my house to lay fire and tow together. But if they fire me, some of them shall win More tow on their distaves than they can well

spin; [hands full —

And the best of them shall have both their Bolster or pillow for me, be whose wull. / will not bear the devil's sack, by Saint

Audry ! For concealing suspicion of their baudry. I fear false measures, or else I were a child ; For they that think none ill, are soonest be- guiled. And thus, though much water goeth by the mill That the miller knoweth not of, yet I will

74 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VI.

Cast what may scape; and, as though I did

find it, With the clack of my mill to fine meal grind it. And sure ere I take any rest in effect, I must banish my maids such as I suspect : Better it be done than wish it had been done. As good undone, (quoth I), as do it too soon. Well, (quoth she), till soon, fare ye well ! and

this Keep ye as secret as ye think meet is. Out at doors went she herewith ; and hereupon In at doors came he forthwith, as she was

gone; And, without any temperate protestation, J hus he began, in way of exclamation.

Chapter VI.

Oh! what choice may compare to the devil's

life Like his that have chosen a devil to his wife? Namely, such an old witch, such a macka-

broine. As evermore like a hog hangeth the groyne On her husband, except he be her slave. And follow all fancies that she would have. 'Tis said : there is no good accord Where every man would be a lord. Wherefore, my wife will be no lord, but lady, To make me, that should be her lord, a baby. Before I was wedded, and since, I made

reckoning To make my wife bow at every beckoning. Bachelors boast how they will teach their

wives good;

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VI. 75

But many a man speaketh of Robin Hood That never shot in his bow. When all is

soLig-ht, [taught.

Bachelors' wives, and maids' children be well And this with this, I also begin to gather : Every man can rule a shrew, save he that hath

her. [like wax ;

At my will I weened she should have wrought But I find and feel she hath found such knacks In her houget, and such toys in her head. That to dance after her pipe I am nigh led. It is said of old : an old dog biteth sore; But, by God ! th' old bitch biteth sorer and

more ; [her tongue.

And not with teeth — (she hath none) — but with If all tales be true, (quoth I), though she be

stung, [blame ;

And thereby sting you, she is not much to For, whatever you say, thus goeth the same. When folk first saw your substance laid in

your lap, [good hap,

Without your pain, with your wife brought by Oft in remembrance of haps happy device They would say : better to be happy than wise ; Not minding thereby then to deprave your wit, For they had good hope to see good proof of it. But since their good opinion therein so cools, That they say as oft : God semleth fortune to

fools ; In that, as fortune without your wit gave it, So can your wit not keep it when ye have it. Sayeth one : this gear was gotten on a holy

day ; Sayeth another : who may hold that will away. This game, from beginning, showeth what end

is meant :

76 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VI

Soon gotten, soon spent; ill gotten, ill spent. Ye are called not only too great a spender, Too frank a giver, and as free a lender ; But also, ye spend, give, and lend, among such Whose lightness minisheth your honesty as

much As your money ; and much they disallow That ye brike all from her, that brought all to

yow ; And spend it out at doors, in spite of her, Because ye would kill her to be quit of her. For all kindness, of her part, that may rise. Ye show all th' unkindness ye can devise. And where reason and custom, (they say),

affords Alway to let the losers have their words, Ye make her a cuckquean and consume her

good ; And she must sit like a bean in a monk's hood. Bearing no more rule than a goose turd in

Thames ; But, at her own maids' becks, wings, or hems, She must obey those lambs, or else a lambskin Ye will provide for her, to lap her in. [say ;

This biteth the mare by the thumb, as they For were ye, touching condition, (say they). The castle of honesty in all things else. Yet should this one thing, as their whole tale

tells. Defile and deface that castle to a cottage — One crop of a turd marreth a pot of potage. And some to this cry. Let him pass, for we

think [stink.

The more we stir a turd, the worse it will With many conditions good, one that is ill Defaceth the flower of all, and doth all spoil.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VII. 77

Now, (quoth I), if you think they truly clatter, Let your amendment amend the matter: Half 'warned, half armed. This warning- for this I show, [know.

He that hath an ill name is half hanged, yc

Chapter VII.

Well said ! (said he). Marry, sir ! here is a

tale — I'^or honesty, meet to set the devil on sale. But now am I forced a head roll to unfold. To tell somewhat more to the tale I erst told. Cirow this, as most part doth, I durst hold my

life, Of the jealousy of dame Julok, my wife. Then shall ye wonder, when truth doth define. How she can, and doth here both bite and

whine. Frenzy, heresy, and jealousy are three, That men say hardly, or never, cured be. And althoug^h jealousy need not or boot not, What helpeth that counsel, if reason root not? And in mad jealousy she is so far g^one She thinketh I run over all that I look on. Take g^ood heed of that, (quoth I), for at a

word, [sword

The proverb saith : he that striketh with the Shall he stricken ^ith the scabbard. Tush !

(quoth he). The devil with my scabbard will not strike me ; But, my dame taking- suspicion for full prefe, Reporteth it for a truth to the most mischief. In words gold and whole, as men by wit could

wish,

78 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VII.

She will lie as jast as a dog will lick a dish. She is, of truth, as false as God is true; And, if she chance to see me, at a view, Kiss any of my maids alone, but in sport, That taketh she in earnest, after Bedlam sort. The cow is wood; her tongue runneth on pat- tens ; If it be morn, we have a pair of matins ; If it be even, evensong-, not Latin nor Greek, But Eng-Hsh, and Hke that as in Easter week. She beginneth, first with a cry a leison ; To which she ring-eth a peal, a larum ; such one As folk ring bees with basins — the world run- neth on wheels. But except her maid show a fair pair of heels, She haleth her by the boy rope, till her brains ache. [make —

And bring- I home a good dish, good cheer to What is this? (saith she). Good meat, (say I), for yow ! [sow !

God have mercy, horse ! a pig of mine own Thus when I see by kindness ease reneweth not, [reweth not;

And then, that the eye seeth not, the heart And that he must needs go whom the devil doth

drive ; Her force forcing me, for mine ease to contrive To let her fast and fret alone for me, I go where merry chat and good cheer may be. Much spend I abroad, which at home should

be spent If she would leave controlling and be content. There leaped a whiting, (quoth she), and leaped in straight; [celt.

Take a hair from his beard, and mark this con- He maketh you believe, by lies laid on by load.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VII. 79

My brawling at home maketh him banquet abroad. [home.

Where his banquets abroad make me brawl at I'or, as in a frost, a mud wall made of loam Cracketh and crummeth in pieces asunder, So melteth his money, to the world's wonder. Thus may ye see, to turn the cat in the pan, Or set the cart before the horse, well he can; He is but little at home, the truth is so; And, forth with him, he will not let me go; And if I come to be merry where he is, J hen is he mad, as ye shall hear by this. Where he, with gossips at a banquet late was, At which, as use is, he paid all — but let pass ! 1 came to be merry ; wherewith merrily : Proface ! Have amojig you blind harpers, (said

I)-

'The mo the merrier, we all day hear and see. Vea, but the fewer the better fare, (said he). Then here were, ere I came, (quoth I), too

many ; Here is but little meat left, if there be any. And it is ill coming, I have heard say. To th' end of a shot and beginning of a fray. Put up thy purse, (quoth he), thou shalt none

pay ; [thy way.

And fray here should be none were thou gone Here is, since thou earnest, too many feet

a-bed; [errand sped.

Welcome ! when thou goest : thus is thine I come, (quoth I), to be one here, if I shall — It is merry in hall when beards wag all. What, bid me welcome, pig? I pray thee kiss

me ! \ay, farewell, sow ! (quoth he), our Lord bliss

me

So Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VII.

From bassing of beasts of Bearbinder Lane. I have, (quoth I), for fine sugar, fair rat's-bane. Many years since, my mother said to me. Her elders would say : it is better to be An old man's darling than a young man's war- ling. And God knoweth ! I knew none of this snarl- ing- In my old husband's days; for, as tenderly He loved me as ye love me slenderly ; We drew both in one line. Quoth he, would to our lord [cord.

Ye had, in that drawing, hanged both in one For I never meet thee at flesh, nor at fish. But / have sure a dead man's head in my dish; Whose best and my worst day, that wish might

be. Was when thou didst bury him and marry me. If you, (quoth I), long for change in those

cases. Would to God he and you had changed places ! But best I change place, for here I may be

spared. And for my kind coming, this is my reward. Claw a churl by th' arse, and he shitteth in my hand; [band.

Knack me that nut, much good doyt you all this Must she not, (quoth he), be welcome to us all. Among us all, letting such a farewell fall? Such carpenters, such chips, (quoth she); folk tell ; [farewell.

Such lips, such lettuce ; such welcome, such Thine own words, (quoth he), thine own wel- come marr'd. [jarr'd, Well, (said she), whensoever we twain have My words be pried at narrowly, I espy.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VII. 8i

Ye can see a mote in another man's eye,

But ye cannot see a balk in your own.

Vea, mark my words, but not that they be

grown By your revellous riding on every royle ; Well nigh every day a new mare or a moyle, As much unhonest, as unprofitable. Which shall bring us shortly to be unable To give a dog a loaf, as I have oft said. Howbeit, your pleasure may no time be denied, But still you must have both the finest meat, Apparel, and all thing that money may geat ; Ivike one of fond fancy so fine and so neat That would have better bread than is made of

wheat. The best is best cheap, (quoth he), men say

clear. Well, (quoth she), a man may buy gold too

dear; Ye nother care, nor wellnigh cast what ye pay, To buy the dearest for the best alway. Then for your diet who useth feeding such, Eat more than enough, and drink much more

too much. [school :

But temperance teacheth this, where he keepeth He that knoweth when he hath enough is no

fool. Feed by measure, and defy the physician; And, in the contrary, mark this condition : A swine over fat is cause of his own bane; Who seeth nought herein, his wit is in the

wane. But pompous provision, cometh not all, alway Of gluttony, but of pride sometime, some say. But this proverb preacheth to men haut or

high:

HEY. II. G

82 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VII.

Hew not too high lest the chips fall in thine eye. Measure is a merry mean, as this doth show : Not too high for the pye, nor too low for the

crow. The difference between starins^ and stark blind The wise man at all times to follow can find ; And i-wis an auditor of a mean wit, [yit ;

May soon accompt, though hereafter come not Yet is he sure, he the day never so long, Evermore at last they ring to evensong. And where ye spend much though ye spent but

lickle. Yet little and little the cat eateth the fiickle; Little loss by length may grow importable; A mouse in time may bite a-tivo a cable. Thus, to end of all things, be we lief or loth, Yet lo, the pot so long to the water goeth. Till at the last it cometh home broken; Few words to the wise suffice to be spoken. If ye were wise, here were enough, (quoth she). Here is enough, and too much, dame, (quoth

he); For, though this appear a proper pulpit piece, Yet when the fox preacheth then beware your

geese. A good tale ill told, in the telling is marred. So are, (quoth she), good tales well told, and

111 heard. [wit, wife :

Thy tales, (quoth he), show longhair, and short But long be thy legs, and short be thy life. Pray for yourself! I am not sick, (quoth she). Well let's see, what thy last tale cometh to,

(quoth he) : [wander ;

Thou sayest I spend all; to this, thy words But, as deep drinketh the goose as the gander. Thou canst cough in the aumbry, if need be,

i

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VII. 83

When I shall cough without bread or broth for

thee. Whereby, while thou sendest me abroad to

spend, Thou gossipest at home to meet me at land's

end. [mean —

Ah ! then I beguile you, (quoth she), this ye But sir ! my pot is whole, and my water clean. Well, thou wouldst have me, (quoth he), pinch

Hke a snudge, livery day to be thy drivel and drudge. Not so, (quoth she), but I would have ye stir Honestly ; to keep the wolf from the dur. 1 would drive the wolf out at door first, (quoth

he); And that can I not do, till I drive out thee. A man were better be drowned in Venice gulf Than have such a bearded bear, or such a wolf ! But had I not been witched, my wedding to

flee, [me.

The terms that long to wedding had warned First, wooing for woeing ; banna for banning ; The banns for my bane ; and then this, thus

scanning — Marrying marring. And what married I than? A woman ! As who saith, woe to the man ! Thus wed I with woe, wed I Jill, wed I Jane — I pray God, the devil go with thee down the lane! [agreed),

I grant, (quoth she), this doth sound, (as ye On your side in words, but on my side in deed. Thou grant'st this grant, (quoth he), without

any grace ; Ungraciously, to thy side, to turn this case. Leave this, (quoth she), and learn liberality To stint strife, grown by your prodigality.

G 2

84 Proverbs, Pt II., Ch. VII.

Oft said the wise man, whom I erst did bury : Better are meals many than one too merry. Well, (quoth he), that is answered with this,

wife : [whole life.

Better is one month's cheer than a churl's I think it learning- of a wiser lectour, To learn to make myself mine own exectour, Than spare for another that might wed thee, As the fool, thy first husband, spared for me. And as for ill places, thou seekest me in mo, And in worse too, than I into any go. Whereby this proverb showeth thee in by the

week : No man will another in the oven seek Except that himself have been there before. God give grace thou hast been good ! I say no

more; [couldst prove

And would have thee say less except thou Such process as thou slanderously dost move. For slander, perchance, (quoth she), I not deny It may be a slander, but it is no lie. It is a lie, (quoth he), and thou a liar ! Will ye, (quoth she), drive me to touch ye

nigher? [yit

I rub the galled horse back till he winch ; and He would make it seem that I touch him no

whit. [make :

But I wot what I wot, though I few words Many kiss the child for the nurse's sake. Ye have many good children to look upon, And ye bless them all, but ye bass but one. This half showeth, what the whole meaneth,

that I meve. Ye fet circumquaques to make me believe, Or think, that the moon is made of a green

cheese.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VII. 85

And when ye have made me a lout in all these, It seemeth ye would make me go to bed at

noon. Nay, (quoth he), the day of doom shall be done Ere thou go to bed at noon, or night, for me. Thou art, to be plain, and not to flatter thee, As wholesome a m,orsel for my comely corse As a shoulder of mutton for a sick horse. The devil with his dam hath more rest in hell Than I have here with thee; but well, wife,

well ! [buckets.

Well, well ! (quoth she), many wells, many Yea ! (quoth he), and many words, many

buffets. [thus,

Had you some husband, and snapped at him Iwys he would give you a recumbentibus. .1 dog will bark ere he bite, and so thou After thy barking wilt bite me, I trow now ; But it is hard to make an old dog stoop, lo ! Sir, (quoth she), a man may handle his dog so That he may make him bite him, though he

would not. [wives scold not;

Husbands are in heaven, (quoth he), whose Thou makest me claw where it itcheth not. I

would [cold ;

Thy tongue were cooled to make thy tales more I'hat aspen leaf, such spiteful clapping have

bred. That my cap is better at ease than my head, (iod send that head, (said she), a better nurse ! For when the head acheth all the body is the

worse. God grant, (quoth I), the head and body, both

two. To nurse each other better than they do : Or ever have done for the most times past.

86 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VII.

I brought to nurse both, (quoth she), had It not

been waste. [meal;

Margery, good cow, (quoth he), gave a good But then she cast it down again with her heel. How can her purse for profit be delightful Whose person and properties be thus spiteful? A piece of a kid is worth two of a cat — Who the devil will change a rabbit for^ a rat? If I might change, I would rather choose to

beg, Or sit with a roasted apple or an egg Where mine appetite serveth me to be, Ihan every day to fare like a duke with thee ! Like a duke? like a duck! (quoth she), thou

shalt fare, [yet spare.

Except thou wilt spare, more than thou dost Thou farest too well, (quoth he), but thou art

so wood, [doth thee good.

Thou knowest not who doth thee harm, who Yes, yes ! (quoth she), for all those wise words

uttered, I know on which side my bread is buttered; But there will no butter cleave on my bread, And on my bread any butter to be spread ; Every promise that thou therein dost utter. Is as sure as it were sealed with butter. Or a mouse tied with a thread. Every good

thing Thou lettest even slip, like a waghalter slip- But take up in time, or else I protest, [string. All be not a-bed that shall have ill rest. Now, go to thy darlings, and declare thy grief, Where all thy pleasure is : hop whore, pipe

thief!

Proverbs, Pt II., Ch. VIII. 87

Chapter VIII.

With this, thence hopped she; wherewith, O Lord ! he cried, [bide?

What wretch but I this wretchedness could Howbeit, in all this woe, I have no wrong; For it only is all on myself along. Where / should have bridled her first with

rough bit, To have made her chew on the bridle one fit, For lickorous lucre of a little winning, / gave her the bridle at beginning; And now she taketh the bridle in the teeth, And runneth away with it; whereby each man

seeth It is, (as old men right well understand), III putting a naked sword in a madman's hand. She taketh such heart of grace that though I

maim her. Or kill her, yet shall I never reclaim her. She hath, (they say), been s'iff-necked ever- more ; [And it is ill healing of an old sore.

'his proverb prophesied many years agone : \It will not out of the flesh that is bred in the bone. [sort

What chance have I, to have a wife of such That will no fault amend, in earnest nor sport? A small thing amiss lately I did espy. Which to make her mend, by a jest merrily, I said but this : taunt tivet, wife, your nose

drops ; So it may fall, I will eat no browesse sops This day. But two days after this came in ure, I had sorrow to my sops enough, be sure !

88 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. VIII.

Well! (quoth I), it is ill jesting on the sooth; Sooth bourd is no hourd, in ought that mirth

doeth. Such jests could not juggle her, were ought

amiss, Nor turn melancholy to mirth ; for it is No playing with a straw before an old cat. Every trifling toy age cannot laugh at ; Ye may walk this way, but sure ye shall find The further ye go, the further behind. Ye should consider the woman is old : [cold ! And what for? a hot word? soon hot, soon Bear with them that bear with you, and she is

scanned Not only the fairest flower in your garland. But also she is all the fair flowers thereof : Will ye requite her then with a taunting scoff? Or with any other kind of unkindness ? [ness ! Take heed is a fair thing: beware this blind- Why will ye, (quoth he), I shall follow her will? To make me John Drawlatch, or such a sneak- bill? To bring her solace that bringeth me sorrow? By 'r lady ! then we shall catch birds to-morrow : A good wife maketh a good husband, (they

say). That, (quoth I), ye may turn another way : To make a good husband, make a good wife; I can no more herein, but God stint all strife ! Amen ! (quoth he), and God have mercy,

brother ! / will now mend this house and pair another. And that he meant, of likelihood, by his own ; For, so apaired he that, ere three years were

grown, That little and little he decayed so long,

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IX. 89

Till he at length came to buckle and bare

thong. To discharge charge, that necessarily grew, There was no more water than the ship drew. Such drifts drave he, from ill to worse and Till he was as hare as a bird's arse. [worse, Money, and money worth, did so miss him That he had not now one penny to bliss him; Which, foreseen in this woman, wisely weigh- ing" [ing, That meet was to stay somewhat for her stay- To keep yet one mess for Alison in store, She kept one bag that he had not seen before : A poor cook that may not lick his own fingers. But about her at home now still he lingers. Not checker a-boord, all was not clear in the

coast. He looked like one that had beshit the roast. But whether any secret tales were sprinkling. Or that he by guess had got an inkling Of her hoard ; or that he thought to amend, And turn his ill beginning to a good end In showing himself a new man, as was fit, That appeared shortly after, but not yet.

Chapter IX.

One day in their arbour — which stood so to

mine, That I might, and did, closely mine ear incline, And likewise cast mine eye, to hear and see What they said and did, where they could not He unto her a goodly tale began, [see me — More like a wooer than a wedded man. As ferre as matter thereof therein served

90 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IX.

But the first part from words of wooing

swerved, And stood upon repentance, with submission Of his former crooked unkind condition ; Praying- her to forgive and forget all, free And he forgave her as he forgiven would be ; Loving her now, as he full deeply swore, As hotly as ever he loved her before. Well, well ! (quoth she), whatever ye now say, It is too late to call again yesterday. Wife ! (quoth he), such may my diligence seem That th 'offence of yesterday I may redeem; God taketh me as I am, and not as I was — Take you me so too, and let all things past pass. [think plain :

I pray thee, good wife ! think I speak and What ! he runneth far that never turneth again. Ye be young enough to mend, I agree it; But I am, (quoth she), too old to see it; And amend ye or not, I am too old a year. What is life where living is extinct clear? Namely at old years of least help and most need ; [heed.

But no tale could tune you in time to take If I tune myself now, (quoth he), it is fair; And hope of true tune shall tune me from de- spair, [(said she) ; Believe well, and have well, men say; yea, Do well, and have well, men say also, we see. But what man can believe, that man can do

well Who of no man will counsel take, or hear tell ? Which to you, when any man any way tried, Then were ye deaf: ye could not hear on that

side. Whoever with you any time therein wears.

k

Proverbs, Pt. II,, Ch. IX. 91

He must both tell you a tale, and find you ears. You had on your harvest ears, thick of hearing ; But this is a question of old inquiring : Who is so deaf, or so blind, as is he That wilfully will nother hear nor see? When 1 saw your manner, my heart for woe

molt ; [bolt :

Then would ye mend as the fietcher mends his Or as sour ale mendeth in summer: I know, And knew, which way the wind blew, and will

blow. Though not to my profit, a prophet was I : I prophesied this, too true a prophecy. When I was right ill believed, and worse hard, By flinging from your folks at home, which all

marred, When I said in semblance either cold or warm : A man far from his good is nigh his harm. Or willed ye to look, that ye lost no more. On such as show that hungry flies bite sore, Then would ye look over me, with stomach Like as the devil looked over Lincoln, [swollen. The devil is dead, wife, (quoth he), for ye see / look like a lamb in all your words to me. Look as ye list now, (quoth she), thus looked ye

than; And for those looks I show this, to show each

man, Such proof of this proverb, as none is greater, Which saith, that some man may steal a horse

better Than some other may stand and look upon. Lewd huswives might have words, but I not

one That might be allowed. But now if ye look. In mistaking me, ye may see, ye took

r

92 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IX.

The wrong way to wood, and the wrong sow by

th'ear ; And thereby in the wrong box to thrive, ye

were. I have heard some, to some tell this tale not

seeld : When thrift is in the town, ye be in the field; But contrary, you made that sense to sown, When thrift was in the field, ye were in the

town. [any ;

Field ware mig^ht sink or swim while ye had Town ware was your ware to turn the penny. But town or field, where most thrift did appear, What ye won in the hundred ye lost in the

shire — In all your g-ood husbandry thus rid the rock. Ye stumbled at a straw, and leapt over a block. So many kinds of increase you had in choice, And nought increase nor keep, how can I re- joice? Good riding at two anchors men have told, For if the tone fail, the tother may hold. But you leave all anchor hold, on seas or lands. And so set up shop upon Goodwin's sands. But as folk have a saying, both old and true. In that they say : black will take none other So may I say here, to my deep dolour, [hue; It is a bad cloth that will take no colour. This case is yours ; for ye were never so wise To take speck of colour of good advice. Th 'advice of all friends I say, one and other Went in at the tone ear, and out at the tother. And as those words went out, this proverb in

came : He that will not be ruled by his own dame Shall be ruled by his stepdame ; and so you.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IX. 93

Having lost your own good, and own friends

now, May seek your foreign friends, if you have any. And sure one of my great griefs, among many, Is that ye have been so very a hog [dog! To my friends. What, man? love me, love my But you, to cast precious stones before hogs, Cast my good before a sort of cur dogs And salt bitches ; which by whom now de- voured. And your honesty among them deflowered, And that you may no more expense afford, Now can they not afford you one good word, And you them as few. And old folk under- stood : [good. When thieves fall out true men come to their Which is not alway true; for, in all that bretch, I can no farthing of my good the more fetch ; Nor, I trow, themselves neither, if they were

sworn ; Light come, light go ! And sure, since we were

born, Ruin of one ravine was there none greater; For, by your gifts, they be as little the better As you be much the worse, and I cast away- — An ill wind that hloweth no man to good, men say. [the corn.

Well, (quoth he), every wind hloweth not down I hope, (I say), good hap be not all outworn. I will now begin thrift, when thrift seemeth gone — [than one ;

What, wife ! there be mo ways to the wood And I will assay all the ways to the wood Till I find one way to get again this good. Ye will get it again, (quoth she), I fear, As shortly as a horse will lick his ear.

94 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IX.

The Dutchman sayeth, that segging is good

cope; Good words bring not ever of good deeds good

hope ; [scorn —

And these words show your words spoken in It pricketh betimes that will be a good thorn; Timely crooketh the tree, that will a good

cammock be. And, such beginning such end, we all day see; And you, by me at beginning being thriven, And then to keep thrift could not be pricked nor

driven — How can ye now get thrift, the stock being

gone? Which is th'only thing to rise thrift upon. Men say : he may ill run that cannot go, And your gain, without your stock, runneth

even so. For, what is a workman without his tools ? — Tales of Robin Hood are good among fools. He can ill pipe that lacketh his upper lip ; Who lacketh a stock, his gain is not worth a

chip. A tale of a tub, your tale no truth avoweth ; Ye speak now as ye would creep into my

mouth; In pure painted process — as false as fair — How ye will amend when ye cannot appair? But against gay glossers this rude text re- cites : It is not all butter that the cow shites. I heard once a wise man say to his daughter : Better is the last smile than the first laughter. We shall, I trust, (quoth he), laugh again at

last. Although I be once out of the saddle cast ;

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IX. 95

Yet, since I am bent to sit, this will I do : Recover the horse or lese the saddle too. [hap, Ye never could yet, (quoth she), recover any To win or save ought, to stop any one gap. For stopping of gaps, (quoth hej, care not a

rush, I will learn to stop two gaps with one hiish. Ye will, (quoth she), as soon stop gaps with

rushes As with any husbandly handsome bushes. Your tales have like taste, where temperance is

taster, To break my head, and then give me a plaster. Now thrift is gone, now would ye thrive in all

haste; [waste.

And when ye had thrift, ye had like haste to Ye liked then better an inch of your will Than an ell of your thrift. Wife (quoth he),

be still, May I be holp forth an inch at a pinch, I will yet thrive, (I say) : As good is an inch As an ell. Ye can, (quoth she), make it so

well; For when / gave you an inch, ye took an ell, Till both ell and inch be gone, and we in debt. Nay, (quoth he), with a wet finger ye can fet As much as may easily all this matter ease ; And this debate also pleasantly appease, [now, I could do as much with an hundred pound As with a thousand afore, I assure you. Yea, (quoth she), who had that he hath not

would Do that he doeth not, as old men have told. Had I, as ye have, I would do more, (quoth

he), [see.

Than the priest spake of on Sunday, ye should

96 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IX.

Ye do, as I have, (quoth she); for nought I

have And noug-ht ye do. What, man ! I trow ye

rave : [cake ?

Would ye both eat your cake and have your Ye have had of me all that I might make ; And, he a man never so greedy to win, He can have no more of the jox hut the skin. Well ! (quoth he), if ye list to bring- it out, Ye can g-ive me your blessing- in a clout. That were for my child, (quoth she), had I

ony; But husband ! I have neither child, nor money. Ye cast and conjecture this much, like in show, As the hlind man casts his staff, or shoots the

crow. [none,

Howbeit, had I money right much, and ye Yet to be plain, ye should have none for Joan. Nay, he that first flattereth me, as ye have

done, And doth as ye did to me after, so soon, He may be in my Pater noster indeed; But he sure, he shall never come in iny Creed. Ave Maria ! (quoth he), how much motion Here is to prayers, with how little devotion ; But some men say : no penny no Pater noster I r say to such (said she) : no longer foster, No longer lemman. But fare and well then. Pray and shift each one for himself, as he can : Every man for himself, and God for us all. To those words he said nought ; but, forthwith

did fall [speech.

From harping on that string to fair flattering And, as I erst said, he did her so beseech. That things erst so far off were now so far on, That as she may wallow, away she is gone

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. IX. 97

Where all that was left lay with a trusty friend, Dwelling a good walk from her at the town's

end. And back again straight a halting pace she

hobbles, Bringing a bag of royals and nobles ; All that she had, without restraint of one jot — She brought bullock's noble, for noble or groat Had she not one mo : which I after well knew. And anon smiling, toward him as she drew, Ah, sir ! light burden far heavy (quoth she) ; 'his light burden in long walk well-nigh trieth

me.

"God give grace I play not the fool thi^ day ; For here 1 send th'axe after the helve away. But if ye will stint and avoid all strife. Love and cherish this as ye would my life. I will, (quoth he), wife, by God Almighty ! This gear cometh even in pudding time rightly. He snatched at the bag. No haste but good,

(quoth she) ; Short shooting leseth your game, ye may see. Ye missed the cushion, for all your haste to it, And I may set you beside the cushion yit. And make you wipe your nose upon your sleeve For ought ye shall win without ye axe me leave. Have ye not heard tell, all covet, all lose? Ah, sir ! I see ye may see no green cheese But your teeth must water — a good cockney

coke I Though ye love not to buy the pig in the pokCy Yet snatch ye at the poke, that the pig is in. Not for the poke, but the pig good cheap to

win. Like one half lost, till greedy grasping gat it. Ye would be over the stile ere ye come at it.

HEY. PROV. H

98 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. X.

But abide, friend ! your mother hid till ye were horn: [morn.

Snatching winneth it not, if ye snatch till to Men say, (said he), long standing and small offering [proffering

Maketh poor persons; and, in such signs and Many pretty tales and merry toys had they, Before this bag came fully from her away. Kindly he kissed her, with words not tart nor tough : [enough .

But the cat knoweth whose lips she licketh well Anon, the bag she delivered him, and said He should bear it, for that it now heavy

weighed. \Vith good will, wife ! for it is, (said he to her), A proud horse that will not hear his own pro- vender. And oft before seemed she never so wise. Yet was she now, suddenly waxen as nice As it had heen a halporth of silver spoons. Thus cloudy mornings turn to clear afternoons ; But so nigh noon it was, that by and by, 1 hey rose, and went to dinner lovingly.

Chapter X.

This dinner thought he long, and straight after To his accustomed customers he gat ; [that With whom, in what time he spent one groat

before, In less time he spent now ten groats or more; And in small time he brought the world so

about [out.

That he brought the bottom of the hag clean His gadding thus again made her ill content;

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. X. 99

But she not so much as dreamed that all was

spent. Hovvbeit, suddenly, she minded on a day To pick the chest lock, wherein this bag^ lay ; Determining this : if it lay whole still, So shall it lie — no mite she minish will ; [best And, if the bag- began to shrink, she thought To take lor her part some part of the rest. But straight as she had forthwith opened the

lock,

'And looked in the bag what it ivas a clock, Then was it proved true, as this proverb goeth : 'He that cometh last to the pot is soonest wroth. JBy her coming last, and too late to the pot, [Whereby she was potted thus like a sot

'o see the pot both skimmed for running over, FAnd also all the liquor run at rover. At her good husband's and her next meeting. The devil's good grace might have given a

greeting, ^Either for honour or honesty, as good [wood ; As she gave him : she was, (as they say), horn In no place could she sit herself to settle, It seemed to him she had pissed on a nettle. She nettled him, and he rattled her so, That at end of that fray asunder they go ; And never after came together again — He turned her out at doors to graze on the

plain. And himself went after; for, within fortnight, All that was left was launched out quite. And thus had he brought haddock to paddock, Till they both were not worth a haddock. It hath been said : need maketh the old wife

trot- Other folk said it, but she did it, God wot !

H 2

loo Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. X.

First from friend to friend, and then from dur

to dur, A-begging of some that had begged of her. But as men say : misery may be mother Where one beggar is driven to beg of another. And thus wore and wasted this most woeful

wretch, [fetch.

Till death from this life did her wretchedly Her late husband, and now widower, here and

there [where ;

Wandering about, few know and fewer care Cast out as an abject, he leadeth his life Till famine belike fet him after his wife.

Now let us note here : First, of the first

twain. Where they both wedded, together to remain, Hoping joyful presence should wear out all

woe : Yet poverty brought that joy to ;oy-fail, lo ! But, notably note these last twain : whereas he Took her only for that he. rich would be, And she him only in hope of good hap In her doting days to be danced on the lap. In condition they differed so many ways, That lightly he laid her up for holy days ; Her good he laid up so, lest thieves might spy

That nother she could, nor he can, come by it. Thus failed all four, of all things less and

more, Which they all, or any of all, married for.

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. XI.

Chapter XI.

Forsooth ! said my friend, this matter maketh

boast Of diminution. For, here is a mill post Thwitten to a pudding prick so nearly. That I confess me discouraged clearly. In both my weddings, in all things, except one. This spark of hope have I, to proceed upon : Though these and some other speed ill as ye

tell. Yet other have lived and loved full well. If I should deny that, (quoth I), I should rave; For, of both these sorts, I grant, that myself

have Seen of the tone sort, and heard of the tether, That liked and lived right well, each with

other. But whether fortune will you that man declare, That shall choose in this choice, your comfort

or care, Since, before ye have chosen, we cannot know, I thought to lay the worst, as ye the best show, That ye might, being yet at liberty. With all your joy, join all your jeopardy. And now, in this heard, in these cases on each

part, I say no more, but lay your hand on your heart. I heartily thank you, (quoth he) ; / am sped Of mine errand: this hitteth the nail on the

head. Who that leaveth surety and leaneth unto

chance, When fools pipe, by authority he may dance. And sure am I, of those twain, if I none choose.

I02 Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. XL

Although I nought win, yet shall I nought

lose. And to win a woman here, and lose a man, In all this great winning what gain win I

than ? But, mark how folly hath me away carried ; How, like a weathercock, I have here varied : First, these two women to lose I was so loth, That if I might, I would have wedded them both ; [them ;

Then thought I since, to have wedded one of And, now know I clear, I will wed none of

them. They both shall have this one answer by letter : As good never a whit as never the better. Now let me ask, (quoth I), and yourself

answer The short question that I asked while're. A foul, old, rich widow, whether wed would ye, Or a young, fair maid, being poor as ye be? In neither barrel better herring, (quoth he). I like thus richesse as ill as poverty ; Who that hath either of these pigs in ure, He hath a pig of the worse pannier sure. I was wedded unto my will ; howbeit, I will be devorst, and be wed to my wit ; Whereby, with these examples past, I may

see Fond wedding, for love, as good only to flee. Only for love, or only for good. Or only for both I wed not, by my hood ! Thus, no one thing only, though one thing

chiefly Shall woo me to wed now : for now I espy, Although the chief one think in wedding be love,

Proverbs, Pt. II., Ch. XI. 103

Yet must mo things join, as all in one may

move Such kind of living-, for such kind of life, As lacking the same, no lack to lack a wife. Here is enough, I am satisfied, (said he). Since enough is enough, (said I), here may we, With that one word take end good, as may be

guessed For folk say : enough is as good as a feast.

Finis.

I I

A NOTE-BOOK, WORD-LIST^ AND INDEX

INCLUDING

References, Notes, a complete Index to- all THE Proverbs, Proverbial Sayings^ Colloquialisms, &c., together w^ith a

I Glossary of Words and Phrases now Archaic or Obsolete ; the whole arran2:ed

I

A FOREWORD TO NOTE- BOOK, WORD-LIST, AND INDEX

Reference from text to Note-Book is copious, a}id as .complete as may be; so also, conversely, from Note-Book io text. The following pages may, with almost absolute certainty, be consulted on any point that may occur in .the course of reading.

The scheme of reference from Note-Book io text as- sumes the division, in the mind's eye, of each page into four horizontal sections; ivhich, beginning at the top, are indicated in the Note-Book by tlie letters a, b, c, d following the page figure. In practice this will be found ■easy, and an enormous help to the eye over the usual reference to page alone in "fixing" the "catchword." Thus i26a = ihe first quarter of page 126; /\oc = the third quarter of page 40 ; and so forth.

The Index to the Proverbs, Proverbial Sayings, CoU .loquialisms, <2rc., is given xvith much completeness. •^' Epigrams " {as a reference) = found also in " The Epi- l^rams on Proverbs " : see Heywood, Works, II. ((E.E.D.S.).

NOTE-BOOK, WORD-LIST, AND INDEX

To John Heyzvood^s Proverbs concerning Marriage

A

t

Abject, ** cast out as an abject " (loob), vagabond, ne'er-do-well, despicable person. *' I deemed it better so to die, Than at my foeman's feet an abject lie." — Mirrotir for Magistrates (1599), 20.

Abrood, " weather meet to set paddocks abrood in " (50&), i.e. weather fit for toads or frogs to be abroad : cf. "fine weather for ducks."

Absenteth, " her presence absenteth all maladies " (loc), makes absent, expels, cures : now always \yith the reflective pronouns. "... or what change Absents thee or what chance detains? " — Milton, Par. Lost (bk. x.).

AccoMPTE, " the full accompte " (8d), account : the old spelling. " Smith. The clerk of Chatham : he can write and read, and caste accompt." — Shakspeare, 2 Henry VI. (1594), iv. 2.

Advoutry, " in advoutry to catch him " (yifc), adultery. " Calling this match advoutrie, as it was." — Mirrour for Magistrates (1599), 342.

GE, " age and appetite fell at strong strife " (51^). LE, (a) " when ale is in wit is out " (Epig.).

(b) " as sour ale mendeth in summer " (91 fc), that is, not at all.

Ale-clout, " wash her face in an ale-clout " (26^), get drunk.

Am, " God takcth me as I am and not as I was " (90&).

io8 Note-Book and Word-List [AMATEr>

Amated, " all mirth was amated " (lyrf), paralysed^ checked.

Amendment, " let your amendment amend the matter ""

(77a). An, see And.

Anchor, (a) "I will straight weigh anchor and hoist up sail " (21c).

(6) " good riding at two anchors, For if the one fail, the t'other may hold " (92c), best to have more chances than one : cf. " two strings to one's bow."

And, An (passim), (o) if ; (&) on.

Angry, (a) " he that will be angry without cause, must be at one, without amends " (6ic).

(&) "if she be angry, beshrew her angry heart** (44^)-

Apaired, " so apaired he " (88d), grew worse, degene- rated. " I see the more that I them forbear, The worse they be from year to year : All that liveth appaireth fast." — Everyman (E.E.D.S., Anon. Plays, ist Ser., 94^).

Aparty, " choose we him aparty " (675), aside, separate. " He that es verrayly meke, God sal safe hym of there, here aparty, and in tother worlde plenerly." — MS. Coll. Eton. 10, f. 40.

Ape, (a) " she can no more harm than can a she ape '"

(27d).

(fe) " the dun ape hath trod on both thy feet " (Epig.).

(c) As a verb, ape = to befool or dupe; also, to make- one an ape.

Appetite, " age and appetite fell at strong strife " (sid).

Apple, " lost with an apple and won with a nut " (246). " Nor woman true, but even as stories tell. Won with an egg, and lost again with shell." — Gascoigne, Ferdinando (d. 1577).

Ashes, " raked up in th' ashes and covered again ""

(58&). Aspen-leaf, " thy tongue that aspen-leaf " (85c).

baker] Note-Book and Word-List 109

Assay, " I will assay to win some favour " (aid), endeavour, try, essay. " Yet wol I make assay." — Chaucer, Cant. Tales (1383), 13 177.

Assurance, " words of assurance " (5^), affiance, be- trothal. "This druge, diviner laid claim to me; called me Dromio ; swore I was assured to her." — Shakspeare, Comedy of Errors (1593), iii. 2.

AuDRY, see Saint Audry.

Avail, " avail, unhappy hook " (44a), i.e. Away ! Be- gone ! you are defeated in your purpose; hook = a. term of reproach. " That unhappy hook." — Jack Juggler (E.E.D.S., Anon. Plays. Ser. 3), 26c and 35^.

AvAN'CED, " which should me much avanced " (22a),

profited, advanced. Axe, " I send th' axe after helve away " (qyh), i.e. I

despair; " In for a penny, in for a pound."

(&), " without ye axe me leave " (97c), ask : the word and also the construction, once literary, are now vulgar.

Bachelors, (a) " bachelors boast how they will teach their wives good " (74^), hence bachelor's wife = an ideal wife : see infra.

(6) " bachelors' wives and maids' children be well taught " (75a). " The maid's child is ever best taught." — Latimer, Sermons (1562), v. " Ay, ay, bachelors' wives, indeed, are finely governed." — Vanbrugh, Provoked Wife (1726), i. i.

Backare, " Backare, quoth Mortimer to his sow " (41c), i.e. " Go back," " Give place," " Away " : the allu- sion is lost, though the phrase is common enough in old writers, the earliest dating about 1473.

Bag, '* he brought the bottom of the bag clean out " {gSd), to make an end of things, to tell all, to lose all.

Baker, " so late met. that I fear we part not yet, quoth the baker to the pillory " (57b), severe penalties for impurity of bread or shortness of weight were enforced against bakers from very early times ; they were fre- quently the subject of much sarcasm. " A pillorie for the punishment of bakers, offending in the assize of bread." — Stow, Survey (1598), 208. " They say the

no Note- Book and Word-List [bald

owl was a baker's daughter." — Shakspcare, Hamlet (1602), iv. 5. *' Are not bakers' amies the skales of lustice? yet is not their bread light." — Dekkcr, Honest Whore (1604). '* Three dear years will raise a baker's daughter to a portion. 'Tis not the smallness of the bread, but the knavery of the baker." — Ray, Proverbs.

Bald, "bald as a coot" (i^d), as bald as may be: the frontal plate of the coot is destitute of leathers (see Tyndale, Works, 1530, ii. 224).

Bale, " this rather bringeth bale than boot " (63d), bale = trouble, sorrow; &oof = help, cure, relief. "God send every man boot of his bale." — Chaucer, Cant. Tales (1483), 13409.

Ball, " thou hast stricken the ball under the line " (426), i.e. a line regarded as marking the limit of legitimate or successful play. " Poor mortals are so many balls, Toss'd some o'er line, some under for- tune's walls." — Howell, Letters (1645).

Banning, " be as be may is no banning " (53^/).

Bargains, " some bargains dear bought good cheap would be sold" (igc), c/iea/) = market : good cheap = bon march6, " He buys other men's cunning good cheap in London, and sells it deare in the country." — Dekker, Belman's Night Walk (1608).

Barrel, " in neither barrel better herring " (102c), not a pin to choose between six of one and half a dozen of the other ; elliptical — no one barrel contains herrings better than another. " Lyke Lord, lyke chaplayne, neyther barrel better herynge." — Bale, Kynge John. " I3egin where you will, you shall find them all alike, never a barrell the better herring." — Burton, Anat. Melan. (162 1).

Bass, to cuddle, snuggle up to ; also to give a smacking kiss: once literary. "I lye bassing with Besse. " — Works, 557. "Thy knees bussing the stones." — Shakspeare, Coriol. (1610), iii. 2.

Baudry, " suspicion of their baudry " (73d), wanton- ness, lechery.

Bayard, " to have kept Bayard in the stable " (47c). See Blind Bavard.

bird] Note-Book and Word-List iii

Be, (a) " be as b(> may is no banning* " (53&).

(b) " that shall be, shall be " (53&). See Shall be.

Bead-roll, " a boad-roU to unfold " (77b), a story,, narration ; specifically (as here) a catalogue of woes : properly a list of those for whom a certain number of prayers were ofTered, the count being kept by the- telling' of beads.

Beerpot, " she was made like a beerpot or a barrel "' (52a), well rounded in the stomach, corpulent.

Beshrew, generally in imperative. " Beshrew your heart " = woe to you. "I beshrew all shrews." — Shakspeare, Love Labour Lost (1594), v. 2.

Bean, (a) " a bean in a monk's hood " (76c).

(b) " begging of her booteth not the worth of a«

bean " (30a), a standard of the smallest value. Beautiful, " my beautiful marriage " (86), i.e. mar^

riage for beauty's sake. Beck, " a beck as good as a dieu gard " (29^), nod,

salutation. " Nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

— Milton, L'Allegro (1637).

Beforne (passim), before.

Benchwhistler (37c), loafer, idler on an ale-house- bench.

Bestill, " a good bestill is worth a groat " (68c), bestail = a law term for all kinds of cattle: Fr.,. bctail.

Bewrayed, " things . . . might be bewrayed " (65b), spoilt, muddled, complicated.

Bird, (a) " better one bird in hand than ten in the- wood " (36^), possession is everything ; hazard of loss is not worth uncertain gain : the modern version, "two in the bush,^' is not so exacting. Fr., Mieux vaux tin tenez, que deux vous I'aurez." " An old proverb maketh with this which I take goQd. Better one bird in hand then ten in the wood." — Hevwood, Witty and Witless (c. 1530), Works (E.E.D.S.) I., 213&.

(6) " it is a foul bird that fileth his own nest "' (7orf), /iZeffe = defileth : the proverb occurs as early as- 1250 in The Owl and the Nightingale. " Rede andi

«i2 Note-Book and Word-List [blab

lerne ye may, Howe olde proverbys say, that byrd ys nat honest, That fylyth hys owne nest." — Skelton, Garnesche (1520).

(c) " as bare as a bird's arse " (89a), as bare as may be.

(d) " the birds were flown " (47^).

(e) " when birds shall roost . . . who shall appoint their hour, the cock or hen?" (566); compare " He who pays the piper may call the tune."

(/) " we shall catch birds to-morrow " (88c).

IBlab, " look what she knoweth, blab it wist and out it must " (24a), i.e. anything a blab knows must be told. " Labbe hyt whyste and owt yt muste." — MS. Harleian (c. 1490).

Black; " black will take none other hue " (92c).

Black ox, " the black ox never trod on thy foot " (17c), the black ox is the symbol of decrepitude or mis- fortune. " Venus waxeth old : and then she was a pretie wench, when Juno was a young wife ; now crowes foote is on her eye, and the black oxe hath trod on her foot." — Lyly, Sapho (1584).

©LE, "to cry ble " (34c), ble = blea.t, as a sheep. One of the Hundred Mery Tales (c. 1525) is entitled " Of the husbande that cryed ble under the bed."

Bleed, " here doth all lie and bleed " (68c).

Bless, " ye bless them all, but ye bass but one " (84^), see Children.

Blessing, " ye can give me your blessing in a clout " ig6h), i.e. the hoard (or talent) wrapped up in a napkin, bag, or ** stocking."

Blind, (a) " who so deaf or so blind -as is he that wil- fully will never hear nor see? " (91a).

(b) " the blind eat many flies " (736). " The blinde eateth many a flye : So doth the husband often, iwis, Father the childe that is not his." — Schole-house of Women (1541), line 333.

(c) " blind men should judge no colours " (73a).

(d) " as the blind man casts his staff or shoots the crow " (96b).

(e) " where the blind leadeth the blind both fall in the dyke " (676). *' She hath hem in such wise

bolt] Note-Book and Word-List 113

daunted. That they were, as who saith, enchaunted ; And as the blinde an other ledeth, And till they fallc nothing dredeth. " — Gower, Confessio Amantis.

(J) " folk ofttimes are most blind in their own cause " (73a), or, as in modern phrase, " blind to one's own interests."

(g) " the difference between staring and stark blind, The wise man at all times to follow can find " (82a).

Blind Bayard, " who so bold as blind Bayard is? " (igd), applied where persons act without consideration or reflection ; generic for blindness, ignorance, and recklessness. It occurs in The Vision of Piers the Ploughman (1362), and in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales (1383). Bayard originally = a grey horse; after- wards generic ; and Skelton mentions a description of horse-loaf called " Bayard's bun." Bayard was a horse famous in old romances ; in Ariosto's great work is called Baiardo. See Bayard.

Bliss, (a) " our Lord bliss me " {ygd) — " not one penny to bliss him " (89a), bless. (b) see Branch.

Blist, " by God's blist " (29^), bliss, joy, happiness.

Blocks, " I have more blocks in his way to lay " (70a), obstructions, hindrances, impediments.

Boast, (a) " this matter maketh boast of diminution * (loia), to make boast = to promise well, to seem very likely. " Nought trow I the triumphe of Julius, Of which that Lukan maketh moche host." — Chaucer, Cant. Tales (1383), 4820-21.

(6) '* Great boast and small roast Maketh un- savoury mouths wherever men host " (36c), i.e. large promise and little performance is little to one's liking : host = lodge, abide.

Body, (a) " the big part of her body is her bum " (24c). (&) see Leg.

Bolt, (a) " mend, as the thatcher mends his bolt " (91a).

(b) sec Fool. HEY. PROV. 1

114 Note-Book and Word-List [bongrace

BONGRACE (520), a forehead cloth, or covering for the head ; a kind of veil attached to a hood : afterwards the hood itself. " Her bongrace which she wore." — Heywood, Pardoner and Frcre, Works (E.E.D.S.), I. yc.

BOORD, " in earnest or boord " (47^). J^st, joke, mock, sport. " Speak but in bord." — Udall, Roister Doisier (1550). 75^ (E.E.D.S., Works). See also Bourd.

Boot, " it booteth not the worth of a bean " (300), remedy, cure, help, advantage. " This knight thinketh his boot thou mav'st be." — Calisto and Melibcca (E.E.D.S., Anon PL, ist Sen).

Borage, " a leaf of borage might buy all the substance that they can sell " (25c), i.e. just such a trifle as would be a leaf of borage in a salad, as a pot-herb, or as an ingredient in cool tankards.

Borrow, (a) " not so good to borrow as to be able to lend •• (25d).

(b) " till liberty was borrow " (27c), pledged, mort- gaged. " To borrow man's soul from blame.*'— World and Child (c. 1500), E.E.D.S., Anon. PL. Ser. I., i86b.

Bosom, " she speaketh as she would creep into your bosom " (23d).

Bouget, " in her bouget " (756), budget, bag, (and figuratively) store. " With that out of his bouget forth he drew Great store of treasure, therewith him to tempt." — Spenser, Fairy Queen (1590), iii. x. 29.

Bound, '* they that are bound must obey " (686).

Bourd, " sooth bourd is no bourd " (88a), i.e. a jest spoken in earnest is no jest at all; 5oof/i = earnest, bourd- a. jest: see Boord. "As the old saying is, sooth boord is no boord." — Harrington, Briefe Apolo- gie of Poetrie (1591).

Bow, (a) " a bow long bent, at length must wear weak " (34c), i.e. a bow drawn back to the utmost and often : hence " to the top of one's bent " (see also next entry).

(b) " the bent of your . . . bow " (37a), inclina- tion, tendency, disposition, course of action.

BKiiAK] Note-Book and Word-List 115

(c) " Many strinj^s to the bow " (37a), alternatives, more resources than one. " I am wel pleased to take any coulor to defend your honor, and hope that you wyl remember, that who seakcth two stringes to one bowe, the may shute strong, but never strait." — Letter of Queen Elizabeth to James VI. (June, 1585).

(d) see Break.

Bowl, " this seven years, day and night to watch a bowl " (71c), seven years = a long time (generic) : i.e. may watch his coming and going a long time with- out discovering anything.

Box, " in the wrong box " (92a), mistaken, embar- rassed, in jeopardy. " Sir, quoth I, if you will hear how St. Augustine expoundeth that place, you shall perceive that vou are in a wrong box." — Ridley ("Foxe," 1838)', vi. 438 (1554).

Boy rope, " haleth her by the boy rope " (ySb), ? boiv- ro/)6' = either, (a) the rope attached to an ox-bow; (b) a rope of bow-string hemp ; or (c) bow-string.

Brain, " bitten to the brain " (45c), drunk : cf. " hair of the dog that bit one."

Branch, " ere . . . branch of bliss could reach any root the flower . . . faded " (17c).

Brawling, " brawling booteth not " (570), i.e. tends to no advantage: booteth = pro fiteth.

Bread, (a) " one . . . that would have better bread than is made of wheat " (81 6).

(b) " know on which side bread is buttered " (86c), recognise one's interests : whence to butter one's bread on both sides = to seek advantages from more sides than one.

(c) " better is half a loaf than no bread " (37c), the earliest known example of this proverb.

(J) see Sheep's flesh. Break, (a) " better is to bov^^ than break " (22a). An early example is found in The Morale Proverbs of Cristyne; originally written in French about the year 1390 and of which a verse translation by Earl Rivers was printed by Caxton in 1478 : " Rather to bowe than breke is profitable, Humylite is a thing com- mendable."

(b) *' in that house ... a man shall as soon break his neck as his fast " (40c).

I 2

ii6 Note-Book and Word- List [breech

Breech, (a) " there is nothing more vain than to beg a breech of a bare-arsed man " (20c).

(b) " the master weareth no breech " (58c; also in Epigrams), is not master: to wear the breeches = to usurp a husband's prerogative (of women). " All women be suche, Thoughe the man here the breeche, They wyll be ever checkemate." — Boke of Mayd Emlyn (1515).

Bretch, " in all that bretch " (936), breach, quarrel, source of dissension.

Brew, " as I . . . brew, so must I . . . drink " (19a), in allusion to cause and effect. " If you have browen wel, you shal drinke the better." — Wodrorphe, Spared Houres of a Souldier (1623).

Brid.al (15b), a note as to the origin of the word may not be without interest, (a) " There were bride-ales, church-ales, clerk-ales, give-ales, Iamb-ales, leet-ales, Midsummer-ales, Scot-ales, Whitsun-ales, and several more." — Brand's Popular Antiquities.

(b) "it is meet that a man be at his own bridal " (15b), a variant of " every man must attend his own funeral."

Bridle, (a) " I gave her the bridle at beginning " (876), let her have her own way.

(b) " she taketh the bridle in the teeth and runneth away with it " (87b), the modern version alters " bridle " to " bit."

Bridled, " I should have bridled her first with rough bit. To have made her chew on the bridle one fit " (87b), fit = a portion or bout of anything — stanza of a song, stave of a tune, scene of a play, round at fisti- cuffs : here = a space of time.

Brike, " ye brike all from her, that brought all to you " (76a), bn7ee = breach, violation of, or injury done to, anyone: hence deplete, "suck dry" (of money and goods).

Brim, " better spare at brim than at bottom " (66f), i.e. at the beginning rather than at the end of one's tether.

Broid, " better dissemble . . . than to broid him with it " (69b), braid, abraid, reproach.

kuttkr] Note-Book and Word-List 117

Broom, " the green new broom sweepeth clean " (54a), still proverbial ; in the Epigrams " new broom sweep- eth clean " is nearer the modern version.

Brother, '* I will not trust him though he were my brother " (40c).

Buckle, " till he at length came to buckle and bare thong " (89a), poverty, distress : </ion^ = shoestring.

Bud, " This bud sheweth what fruit will follow *' (266).

Bug, " bug's words " (66c), swaggering or threatening language ; also " bugbear words " ; of " such bugbear thoughts " (Locke). Bug = an object of terror, bogey. *' Matrimony hath euer been a blacke bugge in their sinagoge and churche." — Bale, Votaryes (Pref.).

Bullock's-noble (97a), see Noble.

Burden, " light burden far heavy " (976).

Burr, (a) "I take her for a rose, but she breedeth a burr " (26b). (6) " they cleave together like burrs " (72b).

Bush, (o) " while I . . . beat the bush . . . other men . . . catch the birds " (9a). Henry the Fifth is re- ported to have uttered this proverb at the siege of Orleans, when the citizens, besieged by the English, declared themselves willing to yield the town to the Duke of Burgundy, who was in the English camp. " Shall I beat the bush, and another take the bird? " said King Henry. The Duke was so offended that he withdrew his troops and concluded a peace. " I beat the bush, and others catch the bird. Reason exclaimes and sweares my hap is hard." — Pettowe, Philochas under and Elanira (1599). (6) see Bird.

Butter, (a) " there will no butter cleave on my bread " (86c), i.e. nothing by which to profit or advantage.

(&) "it is not all butter that the cow shits " (94^).

(c) " she looketh as butter would not melt in her mouth " (27&), in contempt of persons of simple demeanour. " A cette parolle mist dame Mehault ses mains k ses costez et en grant couroux luy respondy

ii8 Note-Book and Word-List [buttered

que . . . et que, Dieu mere!, aincores fondoit le burre en sa bouche, combien qu'elle ne peust croquier noisettes, car elle n'avoit que un seul dent." — Les Evangiles des Qtienouilles (c. 1475).

{d) " As sure as it were sealed with butter " (86c), shaky, uncertain.

Buttered, see Bread.

Buy, (a) " you to buy and sell " (23c/), betray, impose upon.

(b) see Borage.

By and by (50a, et passim), immediately, forthwith.

Cake, " would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?" (96a).

Call, " things past my hands I cannot call again " (26a).

Callet (70&), scold, drab, trull. " A wisp of straw were worth a thousand crowns. To make this shame- less callet know herself — Helen of Greece was fairer far than thou." — Shakspeare, 3 Henry VI. (1592), ii. 2.

Calves, " change of pasture maketh fat calves " (62a). *' Boniface. You may see what change of pasture is able to do. Honeysuckle. It makes fat calves in Rom- ney Marsh, and lean knaves in London, therefore, Boniface, keep your ground." — Dekker and Webster, Westward Hoe (1607).

Can, " I can some skill " (12a), know, able, possess. "Though he be ignorant and can little skill." — Four Elements {c. 1510), E.E.D.S., Anon PL, Ser. I., 3c.

Candle, (a) " to set up a candle before [or hold a candle to] the devil" (24^), to propitiate through fear, to assist in, or wink at, wrong-doing. '^ Though not for hope of good, yet for the feare of euill. Thou maist find ease so proffering up a candell to the deuill." — Tusser, Husbandrie (1557), 148.

(b) " upright as a candle standeth in the socket " (526), as erect as may be.

(c) *' who that woVst may shall hold the candle "

CASE] Note-Book and Word-List 119

Canstick, *' coll under canstick " (24b), coll = {a) kiss, embrace, or (b), deceit: see Coleprophet ; canstick = candlestick. There was, however, a Christmas game called *' coll under canstick."

Cap, " my cap is better at ease than my head " (S^d).

Cards, *' tell thy cards and then tell me what ihou hast won " (36&).

Carrain, " her carrain carcase " (56c), rotten, withered : a generic reproach.

Carrier, " I will send it him by John Long the carrier " (35^), see John Long.

Carpenter, " such carpenters, such chips " (Sod), *' like to its like." " New. By the faith of my body, such carpenter, such chips, And as the wise man said, such lettuce, such lips. For, like master, like man : like tutor, like scholar ; And, like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier." — Fulwell, Like Will to Like (E.E.D.S.), 2411.

Cart, (a) " set the cart before the horse " (79a), to begin at the wrong end ; to set things hind side before : Fr. " II mettoyt la charette devant les beufz " (Rabelais). " He deemes that a preposterous govern- ment where the wife predominates, and the husband submits to her discretion, that is Hysterion and

IProteron, the cart before the horse." — Harry White, his Humour, (b) " the best cart may overthrow " (35c), " acci- dents may happen," " there's nothing certain save the unforeseen." (c) "I am cast at cart's arse" (21&), in disgrace: offenders were formerly punished by being flogged when tied to the hinder part of a driven cart, (d) " carts well driven go long upright " (35c), see section h supra. Carving, " he at meat carving her, and none else before, Now carved he to all but her, and her no more " (S4&). Case, (a) " put case " (passim), to suppose or propose a hypothetical instance or illustration : an idiomatic expression formerly common in arguments. " Put case there be three brethren, John-a-Nokes, John-a-

120 Note-Book and Word- List [cast

Nash, and John-a-Stile." — Returne from Parnasstis (1606).

(&) " clear out of the case " (32a), out of the run- ning, beyond consideration.

Cast, " privy nips or casts overthwart the shins " (24c) — " even the like cast hast thou " (33d) — " ye neither care nor wellnigh cast what ye pay " (81 c), both as subs, and verb cast was in full work — throw,, motion, turn, glance, blow, advice, counsel, plan, design, object of desire, attempt at flight, skill, art, trick, juggle, fashion, form, pattern, shade, colour, tinge, chance, venture, touch, stroke, and many more glosses beside, each with their corresponding verbal usages.

Casting, " far casting for commonwealth " (5od), roundabout search for joint benefit.

Cat, (a) " a cat may look on a king " (70c), a retort on impertinent or misplaced interference ; there are cer- tain things an inferior may do in the presence of a superior.

(6) '* the cat would (or will) eat fish and would (or will) not wet her feet" (34<i) ; cf. Shakspeare (Mac- beth), *' Letting, I dare not, wait upon, I would, Like the poor cat i' the adage." "Cat lufat visch, ac he nele his feth wete." — MS. Trin. Coll. Camb. (c. 1250).

(c) "a woman hath nine lives like a cat " (60c).

(d) " let the cat wink and let the mouse run "" (6ib).

(e) " it hath need be a wily mouse that should breed in the cat's ear " (71^). " A hardy mowse that is bold to breede In cattis eeris." — Order of Poles ^ MS. (c. 1450). " It is a wyly mouse That can build his dwellinge house Within the cattes eare." — Skelton (1520).

(/) " somewhat it is . . . when the cat winketh and both her eyne out " (6ia).

{g) " cat after kind, good mouse hunt " (33c).

(/i) " little and little the cat eateth the flickle " (82&).

(t) " no playing with a straw before an old cat " (88a).

(/') " the cat knoweth whose lips she licketh " (986). " Li vilains reproche du chat Qu'il set bien qui barbes

chalk] Note-Book and Word- List 121

il leche. " — Dcs trots Dawes qui trouvcrent un And (c. 1300).

(k) " to turne the cat in the pan " (79a), to " rat " ;, to reverse one's position through self-interest ; to play the turncoat ; the derivation is absolutely unknown ;. cat = " cate " or " cake " is historically (says Murray)* untenable. " Now am I true araid like a phesitien ; I am as very a turncote as the wethercoke of Poles ;. For now I will calle my name Due Disporte. So, so, finely I can turne the catt in the pane." — Wit and Wisdom (E.E.D.S., Anon. PL, Ser. 4), 3 (c. 1559), " As for Bernard, often tyme he turneth the cat in the pan." — Shacklock, Hatchet of Heresies (1565).

(/) " my cat's leering look . . . showeth me that my cat goeth a catterwawing " (70c), i.e. is given to wantonness.

(m) " they two agreed like two cats in a gutter "" (54c).

(n) " by scratching and biting cats and dogs come- together " (54c).

(0) " when all candles be out cats be grey " (13c), cf. *' If you cannot kiss the mistress kiss the maid " ;: " Joan in the dark is as good as my lady."

Catch, " catch that catch may " {Epig.), in modern- form, "" catch as catch can."

Cause, " cause causeth " (226).

,Chair, " every man may not sit in the chair " (46c), it is not given to everyone to rule ; all cannot be- masters.

;Chalk, " to compare in taste, chalk and cheese " (63c), to compare (or mistake) things utterly different. The- modern form is " to know chalk from cheese " = to have one's wits about one, to know what is worthless- from what is of value. " Lo 1 -how they feignen chalk for cheese." — Gower, Confessio Amantis (1393). *' Though I have no learning, yet I know chese from chalke." — ]ohn Bon and Mast Person (1548). " T)o not these thynges differ as muche as chalcke and chese? " — Shacklock, Hatchet of Heresies (1565). " To French and Scots so fayr a taell I tolde. That: they beleeved whyt-chalk and chees was oen." — Churchyard, Chippes (1573).

122 Note-Book and Word- List [change

(b) " alike in colour to deem ink and chalk " (63c), a variant of the foregoing entry.

Change, " change be no robbery " (63b), an excuse for a forced or jesting imposition ; a delicate way of making a present : now usually " fair exchange is no rob- bery."

•Changed, " would to God he and you had changed places " (8oc).

Chat, " no man may chat ought in ought of her charge " (24&), c/zat = talk. " Into a rapture lets her baby cry, While she chats him . . ." — Shakspeare, Coriolanus (1610), ii. i.

Chatting, " chatting to chiding is not worth a chute " (69a), it is hardly worth while to answer a scolding.

Check, '* checks and choking oysters " (43c), taunts, reproaches : see Choking oyster.

Checker, " not checker a-board all was not clear in the coast " (89b). " Not as a checker, reprover, or despiser of other men's translations." — Covcrdale, Lewis's History of the Translations of the Bible into English, 95.

Cheese, " ye may see no green cheese, but your teeth must water " (97c), green cheese = cream cheese.

CfUCKENS, (a) " there is a nest of chickens, which doth brood, That will sure make his hair grow through his hood " (66&), i.e. deceived, cuckolded as it were.

(6) " thy chickens tell aforehand " (Epigrams), reckon beforehand a successful issue.

Chieving (lod and 48^), doing, accomplishment.

Child, " burnt child, iire dreadeth " (55b), once bit, twice shy. "- So that child withdraweth is bond, From the fur ant the brond. That hath byfore bue brend, Brend child fur dredth. Quoth Hendyng. " — Proverbs of Hendyng, MS. (c. 1320). " Timon. Why urge yee me? my hart doth boyle with heate. And will not stoope to any of your lures : A burnt childe dreads the ffyre." — Timon (c. 1590).

clawed] Note- Book and Word-List 123

Children, (a) '* children learn to creep ere they can go " (37b).

(&) " children and fools cannot lie " (380). "Master Constable say.^ : Vou know neifjhbours 'tis an old saw. Children and fools speake true."— Lyly, Endi- mion (1591).

(c) " better children weep than old men " (34b). It is related in connection with the Cowrie conspiracy, that King James VI., about to depart from Cowrie Castle, was forcibly prevented by the Master of Glammis, and as the tears started to the eyes of the young king, " bfMter bairns weep than bearded men " was the other's observation.

(d) " ye have many godchildren to look upon, and ye bless them all, but ye bass but one " (84^).

Chip, (a) " who lacketh a stock his gain is not worth a chip" (94c).

(&) " as merry as three chips " (17c), cf. Shak- speare's " dancing chips " (Sonnets, 128).

Choking oysters, '"checks and choking oysters " (43c), taunts and replies that put one to silence. " I have a stoppynge oyster in my poke." — Skelton, Boivge of Court (c. 1529), 477. " To a feloe laiyng to his rebuke that he was over deintie of his mouthc and diete, he did with this reason give a stopping oistre. " — Udall, Apoph. (1542), 61.

IiiURCH, ** the nearer to the church, the further from God" (21a). "Qui est prfes de I'dglise est souvent loin de Dieu." — I.es Proverbes comtnuns (c. 1500).

'iRCUMQUAQUES (841/), far-fetched and roundabout stories.

Clargy, " to put me to my clargy " (646), -see rhyme : c/er^y = learning, science, knowledge. " I rede how besy that he was Upon clergye, an hed of bras To forge and make it for to telle." — Cower, MS. Soc. Antiq., 134, f. 104.

Claw, (a) " thou makest me claw when it itcheth not " (85c).

(b) " claw a churl by th' arse and he shitteth in my hand " (8oc).

Clawed, " I clawed her by the back " (24J).

124 Note- Book and Word- List [clerks

Clerks, " the greatest clerks be not the wisest men '*" (67a). " The greatest clerks ben not the wisest men. As whilom to the wolf this spake the mare." — Chaucer, Cant. Tales (1383), Miller's Tale. " Now I here wel, it is treue that I long syth have redde and herde, that the best clerkes ben not the wysest men." — Historye of Reynard the Foxe (1481).

Climbed, " he that never climbed never fell " (46^).

Cloak, " that cloak for the rain, soever ye bring me " (69^). " Nicholas. 'Tis good to have a cloake for the raine ; a bad shift is better then none at all ; He sit heere, as if I were as dead as a doore naile. " — Two Angry Women of Abingdon (1599).

Clock, " and looked . . . what it was o'clock " (96&), saw how matters stood ; became aware of the facts : ' the phrase is still colloquial or slang. " To know what ys a clocke." — Skelton, Works (c. 15 13), ii. 132 (Dyce).

Clog, " where nought is to wed with, wise men flee the clog" (32a), originally cl!o^= incumbrance ; hence a wife : this definition occurs very early. " Science. Ye have woon me for ever, dowghter, Although ye have woon a clog wyth all. Wyt. A clogg, sweete hart, what? Science. Such as doth fall To all men that joyne themselves in marriage." — Wyt and Science (c. 1540), Anon. Plays, 3 Ser. (E.E.D.S.). " The prince himself is about a piece of iniquity, Stealing away from his father with his clog at his heels." — Shak- speare, Winter's Tale (1604), iv. 4.

Cloth, " it is a bad cloth that will take no colour " (gad).

Clothes, " to rent off my clothes from my back " (266).

Clouds, " after clouds black we shall have weather clear " (36c).

Coat, " cut my coat after my cloth " (20b), to adapt one- self to circumstances ; to measure expense by income. A relic of the sumptuary laws : an early allusion occurs in the interlude of Godly Qtieene Hestor (c. 1530) : *' There is a cause why. That I go not gay : I tell you of a word, Aman that new lord, Hath brought up all good clothe. And hath so many gowns, as would serve ten towns, Be ye never so loth : And any man in

cockney] Note-Book and Word- List 125

the town, do buy him a good gown, He is very wroth. And will hini straight tell,