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Pmnkard, Drama, 5 Acts, 13 5 1 Drunkard's Doom, 16 6 I FruiUofthe Wine Cop, 4 3 U¥*ar80faUranluvd'sLU'e,10 1 I Aunt Dinah's FIeUg«, 6 8 I Drunkard's Warui^, [ej 0 8

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No. OXLV.

THE MINOR DRAMA.

COLUMBUS

EL FILIBUSTERO!

S^Uehj anir aubiiciouslu Original

HISTRICO-PLAGARISTIC, ANTE-NATIONAL, PBE-PATRIOTIC, AND COMIC CONFUSION OF CIRCUMSTANCES,

RUNNING THROUGH

TWO ACTS AND POUR CENTURIES.

BY JOHN BROUGHAM, Comedian.

AS PERFORMED AT BURTON THEATRE, DECEMBER, 1857. And at the Holiday Strep '.heatre, Baltimore, 1858.

NEW YORK : | LONDON :

Samuel French &. Son, ] Samuel French^

PUBLISHERS, PUBLISHER,

SSLastKtIiSt., UiiioarjoTiare. ! SO sxlt^:>JI>.

"Tonogn^pfc

BOOKS EVnilV AMATETTR SHOTIIiD HAVE.

JOtATK LIU'S GUIDE; or, Howto Get up Home Theatricals and to Act In them, with I.al»»,B»-

Laws, Selected Soeaes, Plays and other useful informsliou for Auiaieur Societies. Price 2b 3*S»

GUIDE TO THE STAGE. 15 cents, j ART OF ACTLNG. 16 ccuts. Anything on this cover sent by mail on receipt of price.

FRENCH'S STANDARD DRAMA.,

Price Cents each.— Bound Volumes $1. 96.

TOL. I; lien t Fkdo

I Th« L«dT af Ljroiu t KUtaeUau i The Wife 6 The HoDejmoon r The Sohool for Soandal

8 Hone;

VOL. II.

9 'JTb* Stranger

10 Orandfather Whitehead

11 Rlohard III

13 Love's S&orlfloe IS The Gamester

14 A. Core for the Heartaoba

15 The Hanohbaok

16 Bon Ctesar de Bazan

VOL. III. IT The Poor OeuUMsan

18 Hamlat

19 Chu-les II

JO Venice Preserred <g

ai Pliarro

2i The Lore Chase

23 Ottaells

U Lend me Five Shilling

VOL. IV. 36 Virglnius

36 King of the Commorji

37 London Assurance

38 The Rent Daj

39 Two GeutlemenofVerona 30 The Jealous Wife SI Tb6 Rivals S3 Perfection

VOL. V. [Debts S3 A New Way ts Pay Old SI Look Before Tou Leap 35 King John S6 Nervous Man 67 Pamon and PjtMas S8 Clandestine Marriage <9 WilUam Tell M. D»r after the Wedding

TOL. VI. 41 Bpeed the Plough 43 Romeo and JaU«t

43 Feudal Ti«Ms

44 Charles the Twelfth 46 The Bridal

46 The FolUes of a Night

47 Iron Chest [Fair LaAv Faiut Heart N*ver Won

VOL. VII. 4# Road to Bi4n

60 Maobeth

61 Temper

62 Evadna

63 Bertram

64 The DueBsa

65 Much Ad« A)>*at NatUag

66 The Ontle

VOL. vni,

67 The Apo«Uts

68 Twelfth Night 60 Brutus

60 SimpsoD & Co

61 Mersbant of V*<U«e «3 Old (leads&Yo<ui«Heartr. 6} Uoantaineers (')^«

64 Three Week* aftw Vv-

VOL. IX.

65 Love

66 As Yon Llkx It «T Tae Elder Kratbec «S Werner

69 Oistppus

70 Town and Cti\uUxji

71 King Lear 73 Blue Deviia V

VOL. I. »*

73 Hearr VIU

74 Harried and SlngU

75 Henry IV

76 Paul Prj

77 Out Mannsrlng T8 Swesthearu aod Wives Za HcTlotw family M She SV)ups to Couqutt«-

VOL. XI. 81 Joilus Ctesar 83 y loar of Wakefield

83 Leap Year

84 ,The Oatspaw SSnibe Passing Oload

86 Drankard

87 Bob Roy

88 Qeorge Barnwell

VOL. XII.

89 Ingomar

90 Sketches In India

91 Two Friends

92 Jane Shore

93 Oorsicau Brothers

94 Mind your own Business

95 Writing on uie Wall

96 Heir at Law

VOL. XIII.

97 Soldier's Daughter

98 Douglas 09 Uaroo S^pada

100 Nature' s Nobleman

101 Sardanapaiug '02 Oivlliiation lOS The Robbers 104 Katharine and Petruchio

VOL. XIV. 10^ Game of Love 104 Midsummer Night's 107 Ernestine [Dre>m

108 [Rag Picker of Paris

109 (Flying Dutchman

110 bypoorlte

111 ^herese

112 La Tour de Nesle VOL. XV.

113 Ireland As It Is

114 Sea of Ice

115 Seven Clerks

116 Game of Life

117 Forty Thieves

118 Aryan Boroihmt>

119 Romance and Reality

120 Dgolino . VOL. XVI.

121 %be Tempest

122 The Pilot

133 Carpenter of Rouen

134 King's Rival

125 Little Treasure

126 Dombey and Son

127 Parents and Guardians 138 Jewess

VOL. XVII 129 Oamilie 130, Married Life ISI Wenlock ef Wenlock 1*2 Rose of Ettrlckvale

133 David Copperfleld

134 Aline, or the Rose of 1S5 Pauline [Killarney 169 Jane Eyre

VOL. XVIII.

137 Night and Morning

138 iBthiop 189 Three Guardsmen

140 Tom Cringle

141 Henrlutte, the Forsaken 143 Eustache Baudiu

, 143 Ernest Maltravers ("-«• 144 Bold Dragoons ""^ VOL. XIX.

145 Dred, or the Dismal [Swamp

146 Last Days of Pam|l A

147 Esmeralda

148 Peter Wilklns

149 Ben the Boatswain

150 Jonathan Bradford

151 Retribution 153 MineraU

^OL. XX. 153 Freirch Spy lo4 Wept of Wish-ton Wish 155 Evil Genius ,156 Ben Bolt

157 Sailor of Francs

158 Red Mask

159 Life ef an Actress

160 Wedding Day

VOL. IXI. 161 All's Fairin Love 163 Hofer

163 Self

164 CludereUa

165 Phantom

166 Franklin [Mosoow

167 The Gunmaker of

168 The Love of a Prince VOL. XXII.

169 Son of the Niglit 170Rory O'More 171 Golden Eagle 173£ienti

173 Broken Sword

174 Bip Van Winkle

175 IsabeUe

176 Heart of Mid Lothian VOL. XXIII.

,177 Actress of Padua

178 Floating Beacon

179 Bride of Lamermoor 180 'Cataract of the Gauges 181 Bobber of the Rhine 183 School of Reform

183 Wanderlut Buys

184 Uazeppa VOL. XXIV.

185 Toung New York

186 The Victim*

187 Romance after Marriag:

188 Brigand d9 Poor of New York

190 Ambrose Gwinett

191 Raymond and Agnes

192 Gambler's Fate

VOL. XXV.

193 Father and Sou

194 Massaniello

195 Sixteen Siring Jack

196 Youthful Queen 197. Skeleton Witness

198 Innkeeper of Abbeville

199 Miller and his Men

200 Aladdin

VOL. XXVl.

201 Adrlenne the Actress 303 Undine zoa, Jessie Browo 204i^Asmodeus 306 Iformons

206 Blanche of Brandywlne

207 Viola 308 Deseret Deserted

VOL. X.KVII. 209 Americans In Paris

310 Vlotorine

311 Wizard of the Wave 213 Castle Spectre 213 Horse-shoe Robinson

314 Armand, Mrs Mowatt

315 Fashion, Mrs Mowatt 216 Glance at New York

VOL. XXVIII. 317 Inooncitant 218 Unole Tom's Cabin 219i Guide to the Stage 220 Veteran

231 Miller of New Jersey 323 Dark Hour before Dawn 223 Mldsum'rNigbts Dream [Laura Keeue's Editiou 2'24 Art and Artifice VOL. X.'^IX 325 Poor Young Man 226 Ossawattomie Brown ■227 Pope of Rome 22* Oliver Twist 2'29 Pauvrette

230 Man in the Iron Mask

231 Knlgut of Arva ■iJ2 Moll Pitcher

VOL. XXX.

233 Black Ered Susan

234 SaUn iu Paris

235 Rosina Meadows (ei 336 West End, or Irish Hei

237 Six Degrees of Crime

238 The Lady and the Devil _.,

239 Avenger.iirMoorof 6ici-l3l9 Ivanhoe 40 Masks and Faces |ly|320 Jonathan in Englatxl

VOL. XXXI. 2il Merry Wlven of Windsor 3i2 Mary's Birthday 24S Shandy Magulre 2ii Wild Uats 245 Michael Erie 2M Idiot (Vitness 3i7 Willow Copse 348 People's Lawyer VOL. XXXII. Ua The Boy Martyrs 360 Lnorp'ia Borgia 251 Surgeon of Paris 253 Patrician's Daughter 253 Shoemaker of Toulouse 25i Momentous Question 255 Love and Loyalty 356 Robber's Wife

VOL. XXXIII.

257 Dumb Girl of Genoa

258 Wreck Ashore

259 Clari

260 Bnral PeUoity

261 Wallace

262 Madelaine

263 The Fireman

264 Grist to the Mill VOL. XXXIV.

366 Ivo Loves and a Life

266 Annie Biake

267 Steward

268 Captain Kyd

269 Nick of the Wooda

270 Marble Heart

271 Second Love 273* Dream at Sea

VOL. XXXV. 37S Breach of Promise

274 Review

275 Lady of the Lake

276 Still Water Runs Deep

277 The Scholar

278 Helping Hands

279 Faust and Marguerite

280 Last Man VOL. XXXVI.

381 Belle' s Stratagem

282 Old and Youns

283 RafTaella 234 Ruth Oakley 285 British Slave 2gU A Life's Ransom

387 Glralda

388 Time Tries All VOL. XXXVII.

'289 Ella Rosenburg

290 Warlock of the Glen

291 Zelina 293 Beatrice

293 Neighbor Jaokwosd

294 Wouder

295 Robert Emmet 396 Green Bushes

VOL. XXXVIII. 297 Flowers of the Fore -J 293 A Bachelor of Arts

299 The Midnight Banquet

300 Husband of an Hour

301 Love's Labor Lost

302 Naiad Queen

303 Caprice

304 Cradle of Liberty VOL. XXXIS.

305 The Lost Ship

306 Couutry Squire

307 Fraud and its Victims

308 Putnam

309 King and Deserter

310 La Fiammina

311 A Hard Stmgglo

312 OwinusUo Vaugbaa VOL. XL.

315 The Love Knot [Judge 314 Lavater, or Not a Bad .115 The Noble Heart

316 Corlolanus

317 The Winter's Tale

318 Eveleeu Wilson

(Cataloyxjx continued on third pagt of cover.)

THE MINOR DRAMA

Sfje ^ctfiifl EDi'tfoii. No. CXLV.

COLUMBUS

EL FILIBUSTERO!!

& XKW AXD AUDACIOUSLY ORIGINAL niSTORICO-PLAGI ARISTIC, AN'TK*

NATIONAL, PRE-PATRIOTIC, AND OMNI-LOCAL CONFUSION

OF CIRCUMSTANCES, RUNNING THROUGU

TAVO ACTS AlVD FOUK CEIVTURIES,

BY JOHN BROUGHAM, COMEDIAN.

Entered according to Act of Cougress, in the year One Thousand Eight Hundred and Firty Seven by John Brougham, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States, for the Southern District of New Yorli.

AS PERFORMED AT BURTON'S THEATRE, DECEMBER, 1857 AND AT HOLLIDAY STREET THEATRE, BALTIMORE, 1858.

NEW y 0 R K

SAMUEL F R E N C H,

122 Nassau Street, (Up Stairs.)

iJSTRIBUTION OF CHARACTERS,

GOOD, BAD AND INDIFFERENT.

FERDINAND, King of Arragon an aggressive and progressive monarch, of rather a speculative turn, ■with a good many irons on the fire, besides an ej'c on Castile, - - - -

JUAN RODERIGUES DE FONSEC A. Archdeacon of Seville, keeper of the king's conscience, [a liandsome sinecure,] and court spiritual adviser generally, therefore, naturally opposed to Colum- bus and the spread of knowledge,

FERNANDO DE TALAVERA, an old picture, very much improved by time,

LUIS DE ST. ANGEL, a contented office-holder, pursuing the even tenor of his way,

ALONZO DE QUINTANELLA, a courtier of much lower note, . . . - -

DON CHRISTOVAL COLON alias COLUMBUS, a clairvoyant voyager, whose filibustering expedi- tion gave rise at the time to a world of speculation,

DIEGO, a semicolon among the king's pages,

VASCO NUNEZ, "1 Distinguished members f

HERNANDO CORTEZ, I of the Historical Soci- J AMERIGO VESPUCCI, f etv, now meeting toge- j PONCE DE LEON, J ther for the first time. 1,

SANCHO RUIS, PEDRO NINO, BARTOLOMEO, JUAN PEREZ,

&c., &c.

1

A noisy crew

of

mutinous Seapoys.

Mr. Mark Smith.

Mr. Holman.

Mr. Barrett.

Mr. Alleyne.

Mr. GledhilL

Mr. Brougham.

Miss Orten.

Mr. Hurley.

Mr. Atkins.

Mr. Paul.

Mr. Lawson.

Mr. McRae, Mr. Bishop.

Mr. Hayes.

Mr. Bruce.

ISABELLA, wife of Ferdinand, possessor of half-a- crown by marriage rite, and a whole one by right of having to carry its weight on her own shoulders, Mrs. Holman.

COLUMBIA, a national debutante, her first appear- ance on any stage, - - . Mrs. L. W. Davenport.

LITTLE MISS KANSAS, a discordant element, Miss Taylor.

Members of Reception Committee, Aldermen, Discontented Politicians,

Independent Voters, and oiher natural curiosities by

Competent Representatives.

Full-grown States, Juvenile Territories, &c., by an Energetic Host cl Auxiliaries.

QiFT

EST. OF J. H. CORNING

JUNE 20. 19AO

COLUMBUS.

ACT I.

SCENE I. Uall of Audience in King Ferdinand' s Palace. King, Queen, and an entire pack of court cards, discovered.

Complimentary Chorus, ["Gustavits,"] hy the courtiers, enth%itiasii$ and ecomiastic, as in duty hound. Hail ! oh, king of Arragon ! Reign ! oh, princely paragon ! Down upon your marrowbone,

Long live the king 1 jNIonarch mightier is he, sir. Than Joe Smith or Julius Caesar, Brigham Young or Nebuchudnezzar,

Long live the king ! And hail to Isabella, too. For she's a right good fellow, too, And a right good tune to bellow to,

Is long live the queen I Shfi's fairer than the fairest fairy, Sweeter than the Scottish Mary, Nymph or Nereiad there's n'ary One like our queen.

[Cheers from the adminisiraiion. King. This cheering fire, defenders of the great, Is grateful to our royal tympanum, of late Elated by our victories among Those mongrel Moors, to hear our praises sung We've had no time ; but now the wars are ended, And in the usual way, our faith defended, That is by slaying every slavish minion Who dares to difter with us in opinion.

ft coLUJir.us.

Althongli by proxy those great deeds were done,

We think we've earned the right to have some funj

So loud let every office-holder shout,

Or else ve'll send them to the right about.

[The several sticks shout accordingly

Louder, you puddiri' heads, aldermen and all.

Or else our city hall we'll overhaul,

And cut your heavy jobs and contracts down,

And then we'll see who'll represent the town.

Tell us what news is stirring in the city 1 Fonseca. So please you, sire, the Vigilance Commiltee

A foolish foreigner this day has found.

Who swears, confound him, that the world is round,

And swings, on what the fellow calls its axis,

Just once a year. King. He's thinking of the taxes. Fonseca. It taxes both credulity and patience

To listen to the mountebank's relations. Queen. Perhaps he's right let's ask him here to sup,

There may be something in

King. My love, shut up.

Fonseca. But that's not all he says.

King. I want to know.

What does he say 1 Fonseca. He says, my liege, below

There is a corresponding half-world

King. We know better

For did it correspond we'd have a letter.

We've nothing from that latitude, in fine

We hav'n't had an equinoctial line

So it's all bosh. Queen. 'Twould be as well to hear

The man himself.

King. Now, don't you interfere.

Fonseca. And more than this your majesty will laugh,

Of course the fool asserts, the other half

Has mountains, vallies, seas, just like our own ;

With men and women

King. What, turned upside down I

Strange kind of man, to think mankind, like flies,

Could in such strange position stand he lies. Fonseca. But, above all, the chap maintains that gold

And precious gems lie there iu heaps untold. Queen. What, diamonds 1 Fonseca. And pearls of countless price,

Rubies and amethysts. Queen. Take my advice

And look into this matter. King. You look out ;

Bell, liold your tongue we know what we're about.

COLUMBUS.

Let some one sunmion liere this foreign catifl

Who thus presumes to know more than a native.

Hast lieard his name " Fernando de Talevera. Columbus.

King. That's a dove.

Queen. I like it 'tis the type of peace and love

You called me so at first. King. Be quiet, do ;

Don't talk, my dove, until you head your coo.

Who is this pigeon "? Fernando. I saw him hawking

Some maps and charts ; sad and fatigued witli walking,

He rested on a convent step his son

Lay near him, hunger-pinciied and wan

With weakness yet the heartless crowd passed on,

Even without the tribute of a sigh.

At length, a poor friar, himself not overfed,

Gave to the wanderers a loaf of bread.

The gift was timely, yet tiie proud man's soul,

I plainly saw, revolted at the dole,

Although 'twas thankfully received. He woke

The famine-stricken boy, and quickly broke

The loaf in two one half the lad received,

And with such ravenous haste it deeper grieved

The sorrowing man. I read his anxious fears; I saw the dry crust moistened with his tears,

And turned away dimsighted and heart-sick. King. I'll take my oath that friar was a brick.

He's poor, it seems, despite of all his pains

Then, ten to one, the fellow's cursed with brains.

If so, rU steal 'era, for mere brains alone are

Seldom any use to the first owner.

[Laughing heard wi-'houi

Chorus. [Outside.]

Laughing Chorus, ''Der Freischutz.'"

Such madman's words, how shall we style 'era 1 The ass has broke from some asylum ; A world across the western sea ! 'Twon't do, Columbus no, siree.

JEcco Itdliani, ^'Trovaiore."

Scizzerrere !

Oh fel magia mosbio

As a marchera, che si won't returno,

Scizzerere !

Ti hiraup to some trio,

Predo, for here he cant Soggiurnol

COLUMBUS.

Columbus. [Without.]

Bi guingo, lam orti the crowdo,

Astar, nota onei se nir.

Ah mi tiseri

Ah mi tiseri Mustay.

Hadio hadio buta dimo

To geta Sangarie.

Cho7-us.

Du tell, du tel guist erim The luni supposes notin. Scizzerere ! De te nim ti Sonli ad ute uno.

Columhus. De te nim 0 dainit, de te nim 0 no.

King. Go, bring him in and now we'll pump him dryer Than the dry crust he got from that same friar.

Queen. Unworthy thought.

King. Bell, if there's any tiu,

You'll tintinnabvdate I mean ring in. If there's a chance, the main one you won't lose, But caution and precaution both we'll use. We'll see this mariner if aught accrues From his projected cruise, we won't reject it. But with the glory of our reign connect it. By our own royal judgment we'll abide, And if we find him slippery, let him slide.

Fa/^seca. I hope your majesty will deign to pause.

Before this man, who scouts our mundane laws, You thus encourage our estate it shocks Tliat he should trifle with the orthodox. The church has settled that the world is flat.

K'.ig. There cannot be the slightest doubt of that.

He comes don't fear, we'll find out his intent?.

Enter Columbus, peddling stationery.

Ocl. Twenty-five maps of the world for four cents.

King. Who are you, stranger, that with daring speech

A new cosmogany presume to teach 1 Col. A ci-devant poor flat-boat captain, sire.

Kinq. Flat broke 'twould seem to judge from your attire.

Go on, unfold yourself, pay out. Col. My lord, I will.

will you oblise me with tlK> chord ! \To leader

COLUMBUS. 4

BioGi-iAPHic Cantata. Introductory Recitative.

Mio simplissima storio dost thou requesto, Oh give earo unto mi relazioni, But if this foreign lingo, you cannot digesto I'll try the purissimo Anglo Saxoni.

Aria Familiaria.

My name it is Columbus, I was born in Genoa

Of poor but honest parents, so the story always goes. My father was a mariner, and he mar-ri-ed my mother there,

And I was the oifspring as you may readily suppose. Sweet infancy's days when the brain very little wit is in,

As is mostly the case passed unconciously bj'e, Oh ray parent's expected I'd become a steady sober citizen,

But I was bound to be a sailor boy, by jingo, or die.

For many a long j'car I have plough'd the wild ocean.

And many strange notians and natives have seen, But now in my head I have got a sort of notion

That there's some place else somewhere that aint been seen yet. To find this place out is the only thing I live for,

Ambition and fame in that single path lie Just to help me along some assistance pray give, for

I'm bound to find Columbia, by jingo, or die !

King. What is't youv'e got within your silly brain 1 Col. A Main land, sire, there is beyond the Main.

Fonseca. Let it remain there. King. Stop a minute

We'll hear him talk, there may be something in it. Queeyi. Pearls and rubies grow tliere, we are told 1 King. Now do be quiet ; aye, and lots of gold. Col. I'm almost weary, sire, of telling o'er

To Princes all the gifts I have in store,

For him who will accept the golden key,

And will for such a chance my patron be.

To my own land I fain would give the prize.

But there Avas no speculation in their eyes.

And not a real but to realise

My ardent Spirit's hope's, would they advance,

French leave I took of them, and unto France

Laden witli gall, pursued my weary way.

But the great Lewis had by reckless play

Collapsed his treasury, for like a stoker

The British King had singed him at drawpoker,

The winning King I tried, while he was Hush,

But for my suit he did'nt care a rush,

8 . COLUMBU?.

Now sad and broken down, I've wandered liere, Without one ray luy onward path to clieer The street my lodging and tlie stones my bed, An airy lodging for I've 'nary red ! Fonscca. Audacious peddler ! what is this we hear You say our World is but a hemisphere, And there's another somewhere under ground That joined with it goes alway's bobbing round. Ckil. This earth's a globe.

Kinq. Well, that's a round assertion-

Then tell us, if you please, just for diversion, What does it rest on 'I Col. Circumambient sjiace King. Circum-flddlesticks you are a case !

And what's the reason that it doesn't drop 1 Col. In endless revolution like a top

It sleeps, thus exquisitely poised in air By equalized attraction. Tonscca. Fool beware !

We canot listen to such words as these, The stake has blazed for lighter lieresies ! Kinq. A lunatic there's not a doubt of that But in the meal-tub there may be a cat. Queen. Pour man ! We must do something for him. Kinfjf. Stay I

Wait 'till we find out if the thing will pay, Friend Clnistopher, we're sorry for your plight, But pledge our roynl word to make it right If to our realm you'll add some foreign nation, Rich and disposed to stand extreme taxation, Prove you can do this, so that none can doubt it, And we shall give you leave to set about. Col. But, sire, my scheme needs money.

King. Well, then share it-

Get \\\) a joint stock and don't over-" hear" it. Col. Craft I must have to sail in.

King- '' Qnantum suf."

Once you're in Wall street, you'll find craft enough, You dreamy fellow's, that don't know the ropes Sit down and starve ui)on your empty hopes, While sharper dunces tlu'ive. Col. I fain would know

The way. King. To raise the wind you'll have to " blow," AVe'll call our conqjany " tlie Anli-Fanic Perpetual Gold I'toducing Oceanic," And true de facto hicli old " Life and Trust " Bound in due time to spread itself Col. And bust.

King. Of coursr', but not till wo go in snd win,

Capital we'll call five millions to begin. Col. I shall not need a third.

King. Oh ! have no fears,

We must provide for fast clerks and cashiers,

Armies of " Blowers"- -" Runners" and " Advisers"—

" Committees" " Lobbyers" and " Advertisers"

And for your president a small gratuity.

Some thirty thousand would'nt hurt us. Col. Query !

King. You would'nt go below our friends in Erie Col. j\Iy aspirations, sire, you only mock

Who would be fools enough to take such stock ; King. Who, Sir 1 Why everybody ! what stupidity,

If you but nicely tickle their cupidity !

I'll prove it in an instant. Ho ! a Court !

[The court malies an immediate advance

My lords, we're going to make you a report

Of the first meeting for consolidaiion,

Of our new filibustering association,

I mean for the encouragement of emigration,

Present the president, myself ahem !

Secretary and Treasurer ^ro tcm

Profits enormous, and the outlay small. Col. An old man's wearied life, X)erhaps, that's all.

King. Who'll venture while the wheel of fortune whirls,

Di\'idend's paid in gold or Jersey pearls :

You should'nt let a chance like this go bye. Ferdinand. I'll take some stock ! Courtiers. And I and I &c. Fonseca. Just put me down.

King. Archbishop, you a byer 1 Fonseca Prudence is a cardinal virtue, sire. King. Now we must try the street Pope say's you know,

Man wants but [Jacob] little here below

And we're all right. Col. Then care and sorrow's past,

Hope dawns and life's worth living for at last !

[Flings away maps and stands abstracted Fwaseca. Look at the peddler ! King. .Just as sure as fate

He's in a beautiful clairvoyant state !

Columbus ! Why are you in such amaze "? Col. Time onward passes, and my mental gaze

Is on the future, lo ! I see a land

AVhere nature seems to frame with practised hand

Her last most wonderous work ! before me rise

Mountains of solid rock that rift the skies,

Imperial vallies with rich verdure crowned

For leagues illimitable smile around,

While through them snliject seas for rivors rua

10 COLCMBtTS.

From ice boniui lr<acts to where the tropic sun

Breeds in the teeming ooze strange monstrous things-

I see upswelling from exhanstless springs,

Great lakes appear upon whose surface wide

The banded navies of the earth may ride,

I see tremendous cataract's emerge

From cloud aspiring heights, whose slipperj' verge

Tremendous ocean's momently roll o'er,

Assaulting with unmitigated roar

The stunned and shattered ear of trembling day

That wounded, .weeps in glistening tears of spray !

King. We grieve your sensibility to shock,

See something else or down will go our stock.

Col. I see upspringing from the fruitful breast

Of the Vjeneficent and boundless West, Uncounted acres of life-giving grain, Wave o'er the gently undulating plain, So tall each ))lade that you can scarcely touch The top !

King. Ah ! now, my blade, you sec too much.

Col. Within the limits of the southern zone

I see i)lantations, thickly overgrown With a small shrub in whose white flower lies A revenue of millions !

King. You surprise

Us now, M-e'll cotton to that tree ! Go on, old fellow, what else do you see 1

Col. Some withered weeds

King. Pooh !

Col. From which men can evoke

Profit as wonderful 1

King. From what 1

Col. From smoke.

King. Ah, now you're in the clouds again. Good gracious I Think of the stock, and don't be so fugacious.

Col. I see a river, through whose limpid stream,

Pastolus like, the yellow pebbles gleam ; Flowing through regions, where great heaps of gold, Uncared for, lie in affluence untold. Thick as autumnal leaves, the precious store.

King. My eyes ! why didn't you see that before 1 We'll go ourself, we mean we shall " go in." Go on.

Col. - I see small villages begin,

Like twilight stars, to peep forth timidly,

Great distances apart ; and now I see

Towns, swol'n to cities, burst upon the sight,

Thick as the crowded firmament at night.

I see brave science, with inspired soul,

Subdue the elements to its control ;

On ii'on wayr-, through rock and mountain river.,

COLUMBUS.

11

Kina.

Col.

Ving.

7ol.

King.

<hl.

King.

Queen.

King,

Queen.

King.

Queen.

King.

Impelling mighty freights, by vapor driven ;

Or with electric nerves so interlace

The varied points of universal space.

Thought answers thought, though scores of miles between

Time is outstripped

We're not so jolly green. My friend, come, ain't you getting rather steep 1 We beg to probability you'll keep. What see you now 1

The plethora of wealth Corrupt and undermine the general health. I see vile madd'ning fumes incite to strife, Obscure the sense and whet the murderer's knife.

I see dead rabbits

That's enough give o'er ; It won't be prudent to see any more. You've evidently over-taxed your head Just take a whiskej' skin and go to bed. Meantime, we give our royal approbation To your grand scheme of general annexation , And that in stealing gold you may not cease, Receive the order of the "Golden Fleece." I must keep dark of course you have the " nous" To pass judiciously the custom house. It will be hard, I know, to put the blinders Upon the new marshall Don Isaiah Rynders. Our freight, mere farming implements we'll call A cargo of threshing machines that's all. The oyster trade just now is rather bad, We know a couple of sloops that can be had Dirt cheap for cash. We'll give you the command, And you can start at once.

I'll be on hand At any moment, sire, that you propose My trunk is packed, when I put on my clothes. Hope and your royal favor to my heart Ambition impulse energy impart, Ere long, like swelling sails, to be unfurled ; Blow, friendly gales, they'll bring you back a world. Bring back a world ! that would be, I must say, Handsome return for such a small outla}'. Dear me ! does anybody know how late Itisi

I don't for one. It's half-past eight. Good gracious !

Yes, indeed.

Well, don't you worry; We'll go to bed, but as we're in a hurry The scene must operatically end iVe'U sing good night to our distinguished friend.

12 coLrMBrs.

SiiEEPY Chorus, icWi yawning accompaniment., in ichich it is hoped the spectators will not join.

Fonseca. "Enchantress." We are so nappy tliat to bed we must start,

The courtier dotli easily lie ; To make us happy, though before we depart, A ni^ht-cap I'll have on the sly.

Oh deary me, how sleepy are we, Ye ah! aw! [yawning,] &c.

Duetto Cordiali. Ferdinand and Columbus. Sonny, all right, good night,

We'll meet, at breakfast in the morning. And take a bite when the early light

Of the morn gets up, the dawn adorning. In all the independent journals

We'll have a first-rate notice ; To succeed without the aid of the diurnals,

We know now-a-daj' no go 'tis, &c., &c.

[All go off with bed candlcstichg.

SCENE II. A mcdcst and retiring apartment in the palace.

CoLUMBDS enters iviih a nightcap, which, in a moment of abstraction, he swalloivs.

Col. I've made a precious bargain here, I swear

This downey king expects the lion's share And hasn't taken one, the common way In which the poor world- worker gets his pay. On one side, enterprise, toil, danger, death ! And on the other, mouthfuls of mere breath. A vain man worshipped, transitory name, But ah ! to sparkle in the heaven of fame Eternal as itself, and life outlast, Slill ever-present in the living past. To think one's memory may iill unsought A Sovran throne within the realm of thought. When piled up centuries their shadow flings Across the records of forgotten kmgs; What to such destiny are earthly joys ?

Ferd.nakd, {the king,) in robe de chambre, and nightcappcd looks from door, f.

King. Friend Christopher, you're making too nuicli noise ;

Please to remember this is not an inn. Col I beg your jiardon, sire, it was the gin ;

By that, and your kind ]n-omises elated,

I own I did feel somewhat elevated. King. Well, just blow off your froth and settle down. 'Exit.

13

Col. All lij^lit, j-our majesly. Oh, great renown,

What slights aspiring poverty endures That tlirou2;li such patrons the great prize secures ; It riles me even now, to think this thing In after ages to my fame will cling, And like dead fruit upon the living tree, Hang on to my green immortality. Could this mean king, unless by my deserving. Awake the genius of a Prescott or an Irving! There's no use moralizing now, because Wliat will be will be, as what has been was. And talking of what will be a strange thought .lust crossed my mind wiih difficulty fraught : If some small scribbler, in a future day, Should try to weave my story in a play, I'm curious now to know what he would do For female interest to carr.y through His plot, if any, for inij ivife's at home; I couldn't ask her majesty to roam Amongst my rude adventures I guess He'll find himself in a delightful mess. He'll want a heroine, the rules despotic Hollo ! that gin, by jingo, is narcotic. [Yawns.

Where can he find one! Out of some French play, No doubt; that will be, then, the usual way. French thought, French plot, French wit, French moral, cast, And published, probably, by French, at last. I'm going going gone. [Sleeps.

Columbia, appears inluminous opening, at hack comes forward and touches Columbus, vho starts, and looks at her with astonish'meni.

Colum. Columbus, wake !

Col. Hollo, ma'm, who arc you, for gracious sake

Attired in such extraordinary guise 1 Colum. It's strange you should exhibit such surprise.

Don't you know your own child 'I Col. I'm not so wise

A father. Colum. No ! nor yet old Uncle Sam 1 Col. Haven't the honor.

Colum. Well, his niece I am,

In fact the genius of the mighty land

On which will rest your name and fame. Col. I understand.

You're Hail Columbia, then well, I declare,

I'm very glad to see you take a chair. Colum. ' Excuse me. Col. From your cap and spangled bodice,

I took you first for Crawford'.s sculptured Goddess. Colvm And so I am myself and Liberty

Are one

14

Cot Thus, undivide'l nia3' you ever be.

Colum. I feel obliged.

Col. Pray tell me, if you please.

Are you that same liberty Demosthenes

So thundered for, until the cute invader

Beneath the patriot espied the trader,

And putting golden pebbles, it is said,

Into his mouth, shut up his noisy head 1 <7olum, Alas, I am, and you need not be told

That by such patriots I'm always sold. Col. Likely enough ; but may I make so bold

As most respectfully to ask, what is it

Produces me the honor of this visit 1 Cohim. Of course you know you're sleeping in that chair 1 Col. I did riot realize the fact, I swear.

But if you say that

Colum. I assure you.

Col. Oh !

It's quite enough for you to tell me so. Colum. You wish to know, then, why I made this call 1

Col. If not too much to ask

Colum. Oh, not at all.

You were just now much puzzled in your mind

In wondering where a dramatist could find

A heroine

Col. Yes, I remember.

Colum. Look at me

I mean, with you, to cross the Western Sea. Col. But what induces you so far to roam 1

Colum Simply the wish to reach my future home

As quickly as I can. By adverse fate

Compelled reluctantly to emigrate,

My business here is virtually ended.

The firm of " Freedom & Company" in fact suspended. Col. I'm sorry to hear that 'twas my belief

That your investments here were just as safe

As the Bank of England, I was going to say,

But lately that comparison won't pay. Colum But see, 'tis morning your effects are stored,

The ship awaits us shall we go on board 1

Conveying Liberty, that humble bark

Unharmed shall ride, and like the primal ark,

AVhere its keel rests another world arise,

And Freedom hang its shingle on the skies. Col. Are my prophetic visions, then, so near

Fulfilment 1 Oh, I feel uncommon queer;

Is it ambition so distracts my head,

Or last night's "tod" before I went to bedl Colum Courage, Columbus ; you have scenes of strife

Before you even periling your lifa

C0LUMBC3. 15

But I'll be with you in the hour of need. Col. I'm very much obhged to you. indeed

Thankful such guardianship to have secured.

Between ourselves my ship is not insured. Colum. I'll take the risk. Behold our banner spread ! {Displays flag.

Protection dwells within its folds. Col. " Nuf ced."

I'm game to follow that, so go ahead.

Song Columbus. " Star- Spangled Banner,^^ Oh, say, shall I see, ere my soul takes its flight,

Though the last ray of life should be fitfully gleaming, A new country arise, on whose banner of light

Freedom's sons may behold the bright heaven of their dreaming Should a factious hand dare Its proud folds to impair. May it ^vithering fall, and Columbia still bear Her own star-spangled banner, forever to wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

[Exeunt, l. h.

SCENE III. The stage represents the deck of the Santa Maria.

CoiiCTMBDS and his rude assailers discovered in threatening atititudes.

Striking Cuokus op Mutinous Mariners.

[Taken from miscellaneous sources.]

" Our captain swears he'll have his fling

So come lefs fling him in the 'frigidum sine,' For an old salt, 'tis just the thing, At home he'll be in the middle of the briney."

Col. [Sings.] Must I be dished, while thus so surely Verging on the land of Plato, Its hard to be so prematurely Dropped just like a hot potato.

Sancho. We'll give you one more chance unless you wish To give a free lunch to the hungry fish. You'd better take it, far enough we've come. So just 'bout ship at once and let's go home.

Col. My home is on the rolling deep.

Pedro. In another minute

Your home, depend upon it, will be in it.

Bartol. AVe've made up our minds, our grub and grog Are fading fast, there's not an egg for " nog " Left in the hatchway, if you don't consent To take the back track, it is our intent To sack you first and then to sack your stores !

Cot. Oh, men intractable, your chief implores

But one day longer !

\

JC)

Sancho. Not anotlier hour !

All. No! no!

CoL Before such brutes 'tis cowardly to cower,

AVhile 1 have life, riglit onward will I steer! Bariol. We'll cut your tiller-ropes soon never fear !

No longer listen to his common pleas,

Seize the old tar and pitch him in the seas !

[They onake dangerous demonstrations. Col Oh ! Spirit of my vision, where art thou 1

On thee I call, redeem thy promise now !

Enter Columbia.

Colum. She's here ! [Sailors shrink back in affright

Col. Vm. saved !

Colum. What means this horrid din 1

If its a free fight, you can count me in !

So many against one, nov/ understand

To aid the weak I'll always be on hand ! Col. The Indian Empire's mine, your threats I mock

Rebellious teapoys, now / " have-a-lock,"

AVill shut you uj) ! Sancho. Hallo ! I\Iy precious wi^,

Here's a strange craft with a new fangled rig !

Where do you hail from 1 Colum. Back, senseless crew !

'Tis just such mindless reprobates as you

That mar the calcrdations of the wise.

And clog the wheels of glorious enterprize ! Pedro. Pshaw ! this palaver, mam's all very well,

But where we're driving to if you could tell,

We'd like it better. Colum. [To Columbus] Yoii are not so blind

But in the passing current you can find . Sure indications that the land is near. Col. Within my heart I thought so, but the fear

Of raising hopes the end might not fulfil,

Stifled the new-born thought, and kept me still.

See ! Sec ! What's floating there 1 Sancho. By jingo! greens!

And now I smell Pedro. What 1 Orange groves 1

Sancho. No, pork and beans ! Pedro. Hogs! then hurrah ! our tribulation ends,

Its very clear we're getting among friends ! Bariol. Look, look, here's something else now passing b}".

[Tlicy fish lip a 2)iece of Connecticut pastry^ All. ~ What is it 1

Colum. What, you pumps, why pumpkin pie! Sanclio. What s this ]

[Fishes up immense walking -stick icith knobs on it A knobbv stick

17

Yankee Doodle."

And on the knob Inscribed distinctly All. Whatl

Sancho '• The Empire Club.

" The owner fitly will reward the finders " If it's returned " All. To whom 1

Sancho. " To Marshall Rynders.

[^4 Play-Bill isJisJud up. An. What's this •?

Colum. A bill of Burton's Theatre, you noodles ! Col. What are they doing now there 1

Colum. " Sleek and Toodles." Col. I hear the birds.

Colum. They're cat-birds if you do. Cd. The cat bird's song must be " the wild sea-mew,"

There's music somewhere nigh. Colum. Don't be emphatic,

It's Dodworth's band on board the Adriatic, She'll pass us soon upon her trial trip, Look at her well, Columbus, such a ship You never saw and never will, I swow, Unless he dream it, as he's doing now. [Tlie Adriatic passes across, the Hand playing Colum. See where she steams majestically down. Sancho. My eyes and limbs, why it's a floating town ! Col. Right against wind and tide and not a sail,

The flying dutchman, that is, without fail: Hurrah ! look there, I'll take my oath I spy land !

Of course you do. What is it 1

Coney Island !

[All the sailors cluster around Columbus. Sancho. Oh, glorious admiral, upon our knees We ask forgiveness

See what men are these Attired in such extraordinary style 1 They are the magnates of INIanhatta's Isle, Every distinguished guest they're bound to meet And feed— don't fear, they can afford to treat, For bospitalit}''s a public trait, Therefore the public can't object to pay. [Casile Garden extends itself from the Battery. Pier No. 1 appears, crowded with Reception Committees, ^'c. Columbus landed tvith the usual honors. " That Gun " takes its usual noisy part in the demonstration. Columbus is surround.ed by enthusiastic admirers. Columbia remains unnoticed in the back-ground. Banners dis- played on which are inscribed " Columbus for 3layor," " The People's Choice." " Columbus for Governor Down with anybody else," " Columbus for President," " Liberty for ever," " Who dare rippose us."

Colum.

Col.

Colum.

Col.

Colum.

18 COLDMB0S.

1st at. Welcome, old tar !

2d at. Old fellow, how do you do 1

Col. Exceedingly well, I tliank you, how are youl

1st Committee Man. Here, take my arm and lei's escape the crowd

2d C. 31. Hello ! this pipe-laying can't be allowed !

His party has no chance, sir, we can lick it,

With such a name as yours upon our ticket. C. Man. You see we've lost no time. [Points to Banners.

Three cheers for Columbus! [They cheer vociferously.

Colum. As I expected

By those time servers, I'm of course neglected. 2d Co'm. Keep silence there for the address !

[About to read long document Isi Com. Go 'long !

Dry up ! Where's Kerrigan 1 let's have a song ! All. Hurrah ! a song, a song !

FrxAiiK Disconcerted piece, hyihe antagonistic Politicians. Chorus, " Gustave " Vive le Roi.

Swearing death to all who cave

What care we for the law 1 He who bolts, we'll touch the knave

On the raw, on the raw. Hearts that gold and rum inspire

Legal threats ne'er can frigiit. He who slumps we'll knock him higher

Than a kite, than a kite.

Infernal Row, a la Robert le Diable.

Sound the tangrang and the hibang

Let the cowbell ding-dong ; Blow the riprack and the grijisack. And the soft hotel gong ! Shout away it does'nt matter what you say,

Tol de dol de diddle day.

The Curtain Falls to Babylonish ConfusxoH,

B^U OF AUX I.

COLUMBUS. 19

ACT II.

SCENE I. In winch tk a spectators are gratified hy another view cj the same palace, but in an empty state. It being the 1st of May His Ma.'esty moves in, followed by Rodriguez de Fonseca.

Ki.ig. Archbishop, we're dyspeptic, dull, ennuyed,

And some amusement very sadly need. Fon. Sire, I'm your soul's physician, solely, so,

AVhat medicine to prescribe I hardly know,

The operatic folk are here to day.

And give, I'm told, a splendid matinee.

The sweetest singing birds I understand

That ever came from song's own native land,

Delicious Italy ! Kiig. Delicious goose !

Yo'i know the squalling's only au excuse.

The whole affair you may depend upon its

Only an opening show of new spring bonnets. Fon. A play perhaps might quicken your sensations. King. I'm sick of local plays and French translations. Fon. The model artistes King. [ Virtuously indignant] What 1 Fo7i. Not as ovignally

Shown, but etherialized there's a new ballet. King. No, no, I'm tired of their old Grandpas,

And can't translate their jumps and entrechats. Fonseca. Some painting's have arrived, sir, which are said

To be superior. Kiny. Is the artist dead 1

Fonseca. Not yet, my liege, I think. King. Ah, that's a pity w

They won't sell 'till he is, in this great city. Fonseca. I scarce know what amusement to propose

Were you in temper for exciting shows

We might go hear the aldermen debate.

Or the police commissioners dilate

On party straws, while through the city's walks

High-handed rowdyism rampant stalks. King. Be good enough to change the conversation

We cannot help the city's situation,

If it's inhabitants don't watch the game

And see all's fair, they've but themselves to blame

Rule or mis-rule depends upon their voice

They pay's their money and they has their choice,

Can you suggest no kind of recreation

To quell this hypochandriac sensation 1 Fonseca Well, let's see. Sire— if you have the leisure

You might; oambining piety and pleasure.

20

King.

Fonseca.

King.

King. Diego.

King. Diego. King.

Cook a few heretics.

[Rising up.] That would drive oft'tlie blues !

I could erijoy a dozen roasted Jews

On the half-shell—

Sire, I regret to say

We're out of Jews, upon your last birth day.

We dressed them all.

AVhy, V)hat a burning shame !

Is there nothing unorthodox that you could name 1 Fonseca. Scores of poor debtor's in our prison's dwell King. Would rather fry of course, they'll do as well.

Enter Diego, unceremoniously.

What ho ! Diego, whence this anxious face 1

[FresenVs Telegraph.] A Telegraph, your highness from

Cajje Race. For us it seems well, what of that, my lad 1 Sire, I'm in hopes there may be news from dad I

[Unfolding stri]} oj paper. Faith it's extensive, from it's length I guess T'was meant for the assoicated press ! [Reads.

" Discoimt increased" "Fund's easy" " Cotton" bother " The Queen's expected soon to have another"

Diego and Fonseca. [Naturally surprised.] AVhat 1

King. " Drawing room" Pshaw ! they leave that line set up " Improved stock" " Agricultural prize cup" Ah ! here we are " Now coming through the sound The Sloof) Santa Maria homeward bound. "Columbus master from the Indian oceans, " Freighted with odds and ends, and Yankee .Notions.'*

Diego. Dad coming home ! huzza ! I hope and trust The old boy's brought back plenty of the dust If so his pockets will be soon attacked, I'm deuced short just now, and that's a fact.

King. Our admiral returned, with lots of gold

Of course, our Bell this good news must be toU' ! Ah '. here she is !

Enter Isabella and the wJiole Court. King. Come, Bell, our oceanic stock'.s

Bight up, we'll have a pocket full of rocks. Queen. I'm glad to hear such welcome sounds as these «

Beck's bill is stifTand so isTiiianny's. Fonseca. Columbus back ! from him I'll take the shine

Or else his star will overshadow mine. King. We're in such jolly spirits we could sing

And will play up ! [To leader of or-h'sira

Leader. What, sire 1

King- Oh ! anything.

Leader. The gold song from " Robert V

COLCMEIJS. 2]

King. Thai's just the thing!

Singular vocal melange King. '■ Robert le Diable.

Gold, gold, gold, is no chimera Though sung to the opera stalls, Bold, bold, bold, to risk so queer-a Joke within the opera walls, Where so much capital moulders And tlie dividends don't come along Every blessed shareholder's Most unmistakably sold for a song.

Choral interruption ''Rigoletto'^

Hard times, bard times, we've suffered Enough by the hard times Par-times, par-times, we'll soon have the regular par-times ! Star times, star times, Columbus will bring in the star times ! Let's meet him, and greet him

With a hip ! hip! hip ! hurrah !

Selfish and unprincipled solo Foxseca. " Poor Soldier."

Now the money panic,

Lately so tyranic,

Is bound to start it's apple-cart

Before the " Oceanic."

Oh ! the " Oceanic!"

I owe the " Oceanic" A heap for shares, so unawares

Must " bear" the '• Oceanic."

Solo Diego '•' The Qual-er's Wife."

Father and I are both in town,

For up he's got to poney, Or I shall have to simmer down,

And think of matrimony.

J/er Majesty signifies her intentions "Jeannette and Jeannot." Oh ! I'll have such brilliant parties now as never yet were seen, For lately my allowance was particularly mean. But now the specie's flowing in, the banks will all be flash, And you had best believe it, that we'll go it with a rush.

"Lucy Neal." And all will you see kneel. Oh, all will you see kneel. Before the great and mighty dollar All will you see kneel.

22 ooLiTMntJS.

Enter Fernando. Fernando. My liege ! my liege ! King. Why, what irruption's this 1

Or rather interruption, what's amiss 1 Fernando. Nothing, my liege, I bear you welcome news!

Columbus ! King. That's another pair of shoes !

Has he returned 1 Fernando. Just landed, and I'm told

Has brought you, sire, about a ton of gold ! King and all. A ton !

Fernando. More or less,

As New Year's sifts he brings From the New World such rare and curious things As he could pick up in so short a stay Which at your royal feet he beg's to lay ! King. Now curiosit}' our bosom shakes !

We grant his suit, go hurry up the cakes ! Fonseca. Your highness, this ambitious man I fear,

Puffed by success, will cause disturbance here. King. Don't be alarmed, we know wiiat ive're about j When we have turned the vagrant inside out In kingly style away he'll have to pack AVe'll take his presents and give him the sack.

[All the couHiers crowd the sides, kept back by guards. Fonseca. Where are you pushing to ! stand back ! [The Trans- Atlantic procession files in in the folloiving order: A small detachment of Police to clear the way a group of Indian slipper and smoking cap sellers, with their banner. A glass ballot box, carried by a politician of character, supported by a few distin- guished members of the "Dead Rabbit Club." The Prince of Hum- bugs, mounted on a superbly-caparisoned woolly horse, and attended by alive merma.id and the nurse of Washington. Two Ethiopians, bearing respectively a mint julep and a sherry cobbler. Cuttle, Sleek and Toodles, arm-in-arm. King Powhattan , Pocahontas and John Smith. The Almighty Dollar, in regal robes, and promiscu- ously attended. Al^ the States, represented by beautiful young la- dies, surrounding Columbus. An alleqorical mask, inierrupte.i by noise without. Col. What tumult's that 1

New York. ]\Iiss Kansas, 1 suppose

She's crying to get in. Col. What, with her bleeding nose 1

I told her she would have to wait a cure, And when her Constitution could endure Fatigue, she miglit come in. Why here she is ! [Kansas enters and causes great confusion among the States, the Imp of Discord attends her, who is finally quelled by Columbia. and harmony is restored.

23

[To Col.

King. Coliitul)us, we are pleased.

Queen. And we

King. Keep sliady !

Bell. Won't you introduce me to your lady 1 Col. Only too proud. Columbia!

Colum. I'm on hand !

Col. Let me present you to King Ferdinand,

Queen Isabella.

[CohvsiBik shakes hand energetically with their majesties to the greai consternation of the Court.

Colum. Hollo! AVhat's out 1

Col. My pet,

You've outraged all the rules of ettiquette. Colum. What should I do 1

Fon. Why kneel, the rules demand it.

Colum. I can't my constitution wouldn't stand it. King. We'll wave the ceremonial. Can these be

Your children that we look at 1 Colum. Yes, sirree !

I have a few more young uns on the " farms "

Besides one most unruly babe in "arms,"

Miss Utah, but we soon shall cure her ills

With some steel drops and '■^Harney's" leaden-pills ! King. Columbus, what reward can we bestow

On you for giving us this goodly show 1 CgI. My liege if I've accomplished well my task

And gained your favor, it is all I ask.

Our fillibustering scheme I've carried through.

The country's safe, and now belongs to you.

Bye and bye, perhaps, when they've experience bought.

They may return us the same blow we taught. King. Such magnanimity our bosom charms,

So we present you with a coat of arms,

Together with the name and rank of "Don '' /'oh. My liege, our precincts now yon trench upon,

'Twill be bad precedent to lift poor merit

Up to their level, who by blood inherit.

What has he done except what I or you

Or any accidental fool could do^'? Colum. I'll tell you Col. Don't be riled, I'll see you through.

Bring me an egg. [The egg is brought.

If you're with skill endowed

To make this egg stand up, I'll treat the crowd. [They individually try the experiment which is a failure all round Diego. I'm beat ! Fernando. I'm sold !

King. We're bothered.

Fot^ Wliere's tlie fun

24 ooLUMncs.

Ill this 1 It's evident it can't be done,

Cdlum. Oh ! yes it can !

King. We'd like to see the way.

Fon. I'll stake my head it can't !

Colum. " A dreadful lay,"

Here's to decide it ! Now behold, oh king, What great effects from such slight cause will spring !

[Gong. The scene shifts for itself and discovers the egg of Colum- bus, heing inuch magnified, tvhich changes to the Temple of Fame, in which are grouped a selection from American celebrities on a

' pyramid. Columbus takes his place.

Finale. " Hail Columbia.''^

Hail Columbia's honored band, Hail ye worthies of the land,

I5y freedom broke

From the foreign yoke, We the benignant stars invoke

Protection evermore. To shed upon thy friendly shore.

May Columbia's happy land,

Rifted by no traitor hand United be From sea to sea The home of Peace and Liberty t

'SEIXD FOR, A NEW DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE.

{Catalogiie continued from second page of cover.)

VOL. XLI. 821 The Pirate's Legacy S'ii The Charcoal Burner as Adelgitba 824 Sen or Valieote 325 Forest Rose S26 Duke 3 Daughter

827 Camilla's Husband

828 Pure Gold >

VOL. XLII. 329 Ticket of Leave Man 830 Fool's Revenge

331 O'Neilthe Great

332 Handy Andy

333 Pirate of the Isles

334 Fanchon

335 Little Barefoot

336 Wild Irish Girl

VOL. XLIII.

337 Pearl of Savoy

338 Dead Heart

839 Ten Nights in a Bar-room

840 Dnmb Boy of Manchester S-tl Belphegor the Mountebank

842 Cricket on the Hearth

843 Printer's Devil fii4 Meg's Diversion

VOL. XLIV.

345 Drunkard's Doom

346 Chimney Coroer

847 Fifteen Years of a Drunk-

348 No Thoroughfare rard'I

349 Peep O' Day I Life

350 Everybody's Priena Hamlet, in Throe Acta Guttle & Gulpit

a».

THE GREAT SECRET OF SHADO'W PANTOMIMES ; or, Harlequin in the Shades. How to get them up and how to act them. With full and concise instructioDs, and namerous Illus- trations. By Tony Denikh. Price 26

PARLOR TABIiEAUX : or, Animated Pic- tures, for the use of Families, Schools, and Public Exhibitions. By Tony Dkniir. Price 85

AMATEUR'S GUIDE TO HOME THE- ATRICALS. How to get them up, and bow to act in them; to which is added, " How to get up Theatricals in a Country House, " with By-Laws, selected Scenes, Plays, and everything useful for the iaformation of amateur societies. Price 25

THE GUIDE TO THE STAGE, by Lehan Thomas Rkde. Containing clear and full direc- tions for obtaining Theatrical Kngagements, with complete and valuable Instructions fur beginners, relative to salaries, rules, manner of going through Rehearsals, securing proper Dresses, conduct at a first appearance, &c., &e. Price 15

THE ART OE ACTING; or. Guide to the Stage. In which the Dramatic Passions are de- fined, analyzed, and made easy of acquirement; also the requisites necessary for performers of both sexes, heroes, gentlemen, lovers, tradesmen, olowns, heroines, fine ladies, hoydens, characters ef middle and old age, etc. Pric«. 15

MA8SEVS EXHIBITION RECITER AND DRA"WING-ROOM ENTER- TAINMEN^TS. Being choice Recitations In prose and verse. Together with an unique collec- tion of Petite Comedies, Dramas and Faroes, adapted for the use of Schools and Families. Two

numbers per number, 30

The two numbers, bound in cloth, School style 75

THE OLiIO ; or Speaker's Companion. A col- lection of Recitations in Prose and Verse, Dia- logues and Burlesques, compiled for the use of Schools, Thespian Societies, etc., and for Public Declamation or Reading. In three parts... each, 15

DRAMAS FOR THE DRA^WING- ROOM. By Miss Keating. Two parU,each, 40

PLAYS FOR THE PARLOR. By Miss Keating. Two parts each, 40

ACTING CHARADES. By MUs Pickkr- IHG 40

COMIC DRAMAS, for College, Camp, or Cabin (Male Characters only ) , four parti each, 40

DRAMAS FOR BOYS (Male Characters only), by Miss Keating 40

HOME PLAYS FOR LADIES (Feioala Characters only) , complete In three parts.... each, 40

AN EVENING'S ENTERTAINMENT, an original Comedy, a Burlesque and Faroe 40

THE ETHIOPIAN DRAMA.

(NEW SERIES.)

no.

1 BUnka and Jinks

2 Lucky Number

5 Somebody's Coat 4 Trip to Paris

6 Arrival of Dickens

6 Black Ole Bull

7 Blackest Tragedy of All

no.

1 Robert Make- Airs i Box and Cox

3 Mazeppa

4 United States Mall

5 The Coopers

6 Old Dad 8 Cabin

7 The Rival Lovers

8 The Sham Doctor

9 Jolly Millers

10 ViMikins and his Dinah

11 The Quack Doctor U The Mystic Spell

13 The Black Statue

14 Uncle Jeff

15 The Mischievous Nigger

16 The Black Shoemaker

NO.

8 Tomand Jerry, and 'Who's

been Here

9 NoTator, or Man Pish

10 Who Stole the Chickens

11 Upper Ten Thousand

12 alp Van Winkle

NO.

13 Ten Days in the Tombs

14 Two Pompeys

15 Running the Blo^ade

16 J«emes the Poet

17 Intelligence Office

18 Echo Bond

NO.

19 Deserters

20 Beaf asa Post

21 Dead Alive

22 Cousin Joe's 'Visit

23 Boarding School

24 Academy of Stars

NO.

17 The Maglo Penny

13 The Wreck | ny Cnplda

19 Oh HushI or The Virgin-

20 The Portrait Painter

21 The Hop of Fashion

22 Bone Squash

23 The Virginia Mammy

21 Thieves at the Mill

22 Comedy of Errors 26 LesMiserables

•21 New Year's Calls 2& Troublesome Servant 2ff Great Arrival

30 Rooms to Let

31 Black Crook Burlesque

32 Ticket Taker

NO.

33 Hypoohondrlao

84 WiUiamTell

35 Rose Dale

36 Feast

37 Fenian Spy 33 Jack's the Lad

39 Othello

40 Camille

41 Nobody's Son

42 Sports on a Lark

43 Actor k^d Singer

44 Shy lock

45 QuarrelSv^me Seryants

46 Haunted House

47 No Cure, No ?ay

48 Fighting for the Union

49 Hamlet the Dainty

50 Corsican Twins

51 Deaf— in a Horn

52 Challenge Dance

53 De Trouble begins aiNine 64 Scenes at Gurney's

55 16,000 Years Ago

56 Stage-struck Darkey

57 Black Mail | Clothes

58 Highest Price for Old

59 Howls from the Owl Train

60 Old Hunks

61 The Three Black Smiths

62 Turkeys in Season

Tony Denier's Parlor Pantomimes.— In Ten Parts, 25 Cts. each.

No. I.— A Memoir or the Abthor. By Sylvester Bleeker, Esq. How TO EXPRESS the Various Passions. Actions, etc. The Four Lovers; or. Lea Rivales' Rendezvous. THE Frisky Cobbler ; or, The Rival Artisans.

No. II.— The Rise and Prooruss of Pantsmime. The Schoolmaster j or the School in an Uproar. Belle or Madrid; or, a Muleteer's Bride. La Statue Blanche ; or. The Lovers' Stratagem.

No. III.— M. Dechalumeai; ; or. The Birthday Pete. The Demon Lover ; or. The Frightened Family. Robert Macairk; or, LesDeuxPugitlfs.

No. IV.— Jocko the Brazilian Ape; or. The Uiscfaievous Monkey. The Co.nscript; or. How to Avoid the Draft. Thf Magic Flute ; or, The Ma- gician's Spell.

> No. "V.— The Vivandiere ; or. The Daughter of the

Regiment. Dame Trot and her Comical Cat;

or, The Misfortunes of Johnny Greene. No. 'VI. GODENSKX; or. The Skaters of Wilnau.

The E.nchanted Horn ; or. The Witches' Gift. No. 'VII.— The Soulier for Love ; or, A Hero in

Spite of Himself. Simeon's Mishaps ; or, The

Hungarian Rendezvous. No. "VIII. —The Village Ghost; or. Love and

Morder both Found Out. The Fairies' Frolic;

or. The Good Wife s Three Wishes. No. IX.— The Rose or Sharon; or. The Unlucky

Fisherman. PoNCio, THE Intelligent Ape, and

the Unfortunate Overseer. No. X.— Mons. Toupet- the Dancing Barber ;

or. Love and Lather. Vol au Ve.nt a.nd THB

UUiLERS ; or, A Night's Adventures

Samuel French, PubUsher,

Anj of the above sent by Mail or Express, on receipt of price.

122 Nassau Street (Up Staissb).

^B~ New and Explicit Descbipttvb Cataloode Mailed Free on Reouest.

We-W Plays.— Playing with Fire— Flie. la the Web— Glln G»th— Does He Lore Me!

FEENCH'S MINOR DRAMA.

Price 16 Cents each.— Bound Volozaes $1. 26.

vol. I.

1 The Iriih Attorney 1 Boots at the Sw«n 8 How to pay the Rent 4 The Loan ofaLorsr ( "^b* Dead Shot His Last Legs

7 The iDT'slble Prince

8 The Qolden Farmer

VOL. II. 8 Pride of the Uarket

10 Used Up

1 1 The Irish Tutor

12 The Barrack Room " IS Luke the Laborer

li Beauty and the Beait 15 St. Patrick's Ere

10 CepUin uf the Watch

VOL. III. IT The Secret [pers

IS White Horse of th« Pep- 19 The Jacobite 30 The Bottle 21 Bex and Cox ii Bamboozling M Widow s Victim

34 Robert Maoaire

VOL, IV.

35 Secret Serrio* 30 Omnibut 3T Irish Lion 38 Maid of Cioluf 19 The Old Guard to Raising the Wind

11 Slasher and Crasher 81 NaTal Sugagementa

VOL. V. 88 Oooknles la Califomlk 84 Who Speaks First S5 Bomoastes Furioso

36 Macbeth Travestis

87 Irish Ambassador

88 Delicate Ground

89 The Weathercock [Gold 40.^1 that Glitters U Not

VOL. VI. 41 Qrimshaw, Bagsliaw and Bradshaw

43 Bough Diamond 48 Bloomer Costume

44 Two BonnycBstles

45 Bom to Good Luck 40 Kiss in the Dark [jurer

47 'Twould Puzzle a Con

48 Eili or Cure

VOL. I. 78 Ireland and America 74 Pretty Piece of Business 76 Irish Broom-maker

76 To Paris and Back for

Five Pounds

77 That Blessed Baby

78 Our Gal

79 Swiss Cottage

80 Young Widow

VOL. XI. 11 O'Flannigan and the Pa- 83 Irish Post [ries

83 My Neighbor's Wife

84 Irish Tiger 8SP. P., or Man and Tiger

86 To Oblige Benson

87 State SecreU

88 Irish Yankee

VOL. VII.

49 Box and Coz Married and

50 St. Cupid

51 no-to-bed Tom 6i Tbe Lawyers 5 a Jack Sheppard 54 the Toodlea 56 The Mobcap 50 Ladies Beware

> OL. VIII. 5TM«rnii;gCaIl

58 PopiJiug the Questloa

59 Dear as a Post flO New Footman f i Pleasant Neighbor 03 Paddy the Piper

03 Brian O' Linn

04 Irluh Assurance

VOL. IX.

05 Temptation

06 Paddy Carey

07 Two Gregories

08 King Charming

09 Po-ca-lion-tas

10 Clockmaker's Hat Tl Married Rake Tl Lore and Murder

VOL. XXXVII. m An Iho World'. •Stait. t)'> Qumh, or Nieier PrutlM t91 TurD llitK Out m PreltjOiT-l.ofStimwrf tut Acfniol Iha Attic 194 (;ircaDijt.nreia)l«r Cam* 196 K.ily O Sbt.l nc A au|>|«>'la Uili*

VOL. XII.

89 A Good Fellow

90 Cherry and Fair Sta*

91 Gale Breezeiy

92 O'- ^'emimy 93HilIer^:Maid

94 Awkward Arrlral

95 Crossing the Line

96 Conjugal Lesson VOL. XIII.

97 My Wife's Mirror

98 Life in New York

99 Middy Ashore IJO Crown Prince

101 Two Queeus

102 Thumping Legacy

103 Unfinished Gentleman

104 House Dog VOL. XIV.

105 The Demon liOver

106 Matrimony

107 In and Out of Place

108 I Dine with My Mother

109 Hl-a wa-tha

110 Andy Blake

111 Love 1-n '76 (tiei

112 Homauce under Dlfflcul VOL. X7.

lis One Coat for 2 Suit*

114 A Decided Case

115 Daughter [nority

116 No; or, the Glorious Mi-

117 Coroner's Inquisition

118 Love in Humble Life

1 19 Family Jars

120 Personation VOL. XVL

121 Children in the Wood [Settled 122 Winning a Husbaud

123 Day after tb? Fair 134 Make Your WiUa

125 Rendezvous

126 My Wife s Husbanil

137 monsieur Tonsou 123 Illustrious Stranger

VOL. XVII

129 Mischief-Making [Mines

130 A Live Woman in the

131 The Corsair 132Shylock

133 Spoiled Child

134 Kvii Ktc

135 Mothlng to Nurse

136 Wanted a Widow VOL. XVIII.

1S7 Lottery Ticket

138 Fortune's Frolic

139 Is he Jealous I

140 Married xiachelor

141 H suand at Sight 14? irishman In London

143 Animal Magnetism

144 Highways aud By-'Waya VOL. XXXViii.

S97 lel OD Parle Francaia

21>g WhoKillrdOiK;!! HnMa

299 Orcla'tflioD of inrirnnnrts

500 Bcao.arTalli

501 ObalmaioFainilf tUl My Audi 303 TbatRaiiealPak 104 UoD Padd) io Basaa

VOL. XIX.

145CoInmbua

146 Harlequin Bluebeard

147 Ladies at Home

148 Phenomenon in a Sm«ak Prook

149 Comedy and Tragedy

150 Opposite Neighbors

151 Dutchman's Ghost

153 I'ersecuted Dutchman VOL. XX.

155 Mnsard Ball

154 Great Tragic Revival I^ High Low Jack & Game

156 A Gentleman from Ire

157 Tom and Jerry [land

158 Village Lawyer 153 Captain's not A-mlss

160 Amateurs and Actors VOL. XII.

161 Promotion (ual

162 A Fascinating IndlvlJ-

163 Mrs. Caudle

164 8ho.kspeare's Dream

165 Nepvune's Defeat

166 Lady of Bedchamber

167 Take Care of Little

168 Irish Widow ( Charley VOL. XXII.

169 Yankee Peddlar

170 Hliam Hireout

171 Double-Bedded Room

172 The Drama Defended

173 Vermont Wool Dealer

174 Ebenezer Venture [ter

175 Principles from Charac-

176 Lady of the Lake (TravJ VOL. XXIII,

177 Mad Dogs

178 Barney the Bai-en

179 Swiss Swains Bachelor's Bedroom

181 A Roland for an Oliver 18'^ More Blunder* than One

183 Dumb Belle

184 Limerick Boy VOL. XXIV.

185 Nature and Pliiiosophy

186 Teddy the Tiler

187 Spectre Bridgroom 18S Matteo Falcone

189 Jenay Liud

190 Two Buzzard*

191 Happy Man

192 Betsy Baker VOL. XXV.

19S No. 1 Round the Gamer

194 Teddy Roe

195 Object of Interest

196 My Fellow Clerk

197 Bengal Tiger

198 Laughing Hyena

199 The Victor Vauqulabed

200 Onr Wife VOL. XXVI.

201 My Hupband's Mirror

202 Yankee uand.

203 Norah Creina

204 Good for Nothing

205 The First Night

206 The Eton Boy

207 Wanderiiig Minstrel Wanted, lOOO Millinem

VOL. XXVU. 30!> Poor Pilcoddy

210 The Mummy |Glas8es|381 Shocking S7enta

211 Don'tForgetyour Opera 382 A Regular Fix

212 Love in Livery t383 Dick Turpin

213 Anthony and Cleopatra 284 Young Scamp

214 Trying It On. 285 Young Actress •m Stage Struck Yankee l286 Call at No. 1-7 116 Young Wife & Old nm-]!»7 One Touch of Nttn

brelU '388 Tiro B' toys

^OL XXIX. It.ire n^^*t Vwb for i^ood IVa-

«\dgi:tf 3vr- -•■>€ j^^ i^o- Sil8 Much Ada*boatM*Uunr 80»/>rtfuir),7dKrr 310 Winning Kafi«l »!1 P«y'»l'ifc'»(> l*e.

'SlSDidi

VOL. XXVIII.

317 Crinoline

318 A Family Failing

219 Adopted Cnlld

320 Turned Heads

321 A Match In the Dai

223 Advice to Husbinf 333 Siamese Twins

224 Sent to the Tower VOL. XXIX

325 Somebody Else

220 Ladles' Battle 327 Artoi Aotlnj

228 The Lady of the L'

229 The Rights of Man

230 My Husband's Gh

231 Two Can Play a Game

232 Fighting by Proxy VOL. XXX.

233 Unprotected Pem« 234PetofthoPettlooe

235 Fjrty and Fifty

236 Who Stole the P

237 My Son Diana

238 Unwarrantable I ■239 Mr. and Mrs. Wh: 240 A Quiet Family

VOL. XXXJ. 341 Cool as Cucambei

242 Sudden ThougbU

243 Jumbo Jum

244 A Blighted Belnj

245 Little Toddlekins ;!46 A Lover by Proxy '247 Maid with the li

248 PerpIexingPredlt VOL. XXXII.

249 Dr. Dilworth

250 Out to Nursa i

251 A Lucky Hit

252 The Dowager

253 Metamora (Bvrles

254 Dreams of Deluslt

255 The Shaker Lovei

256 Ticklish Times VOL. XXXIII.

2.57 30 Minutes with a

>58 Miralda: or, the i

of Tacott

259 A Soldier's Court!

260 Servants by Legac

261 Dying for Love 263 Alarming Sacrlflo 263 Valet de Sham 364 Nicholas Nickleby

VOL. XXXIV.

'.205 The Last of the PI -

King Rene's Dang

267 The Grotto NvmpI

268 A Devilish Good J

269 A Twice Told Tale

270 Pa.s de Fascinatioi

271 Revolutionary Sol. 273 A Man Without a H

vol: XXXV.

273 The Olio, Parti

274 The Olio, Par. 3

275 The Olio, Part J 6 The Trumpeter's!)

277 Seeing Warren

278 Green .Mountain B

279 That Nose •280 Tom Noddy's Seen

VOL. XXXVI..

i TOD ever aend yetir.

VUL. XXX. SI^) AD Irishman s '■'. i; 314<'..usiaFanii 31.5'Ti»iheDar: JliiMi.ilueradi- .

317 Crowding the s,a«r

318 Good Nicht'e R.St TiaMnnwlhtheCarpet ■J-M I'errible Tinker

«A-M1IB.« l.f'y

,4tm tf tiOMF -iT'^s-rr C.j>v- «o<x.

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